David Kronke was appointed Mayor of Television after a bloodless coup in 2000. Since then, he has improved infrastructure, championed greater educational opportunities and fought for reforms that have utterly erased corruption and incompetence from the television industry. Since Mr. Kronke has ascended to power, Television is a far better place. CBS goes softcore
Summer nears, and with it, the traditional controlled burn-off of great swatches of the CBS primetime schedule known as “Big Brother.” And whereas in the past those monitoring the online antics of the “houseguests” were prevented, thanks to discreet cutaways by the show’s producers, from witnessing any particularly graphic romantic liaisons that occurred within the BB house, this year, they’re putting them out there for all to see – all who subscribe to Showtime’s ShoToo network, that is.
“Big Brother: After Dark,” a spiritual heir no doubt to “Playboy After Dark,” will, per CBS’s press department, “feature a live feed from the ‘Big Brother’ house for three hours (12-3 a.m., ET/PT) seven days a week.”
This release, alas, is mum on the particulars. On the East Coast, those watching will see our West-Coast-based houseguests cavorting from 9 p.m. to midnight, when alcohol will start flowing and nookie will just start being initiated. On the West Coast, presumably, we’ll see the midnight-3 shift, when the participants should be appropriately sloshed and eager to wriggle out of their constricting clothing (or, just passing out). (Or, we could just get a repeat of the East Coast feed, though the press release doesn’t qualify the word “live” at all, and why would anyone want to stay up until 3 a.m. to see what happened three hours earlier when they can just visit the webcam?)
Which means the BB crew would be live on ShoToo six hours a day, 42 hours a week, 168 hours per month. Can you think of anyone who can manage to be remotely interesting for that long?
Of course not, so clearly CBS/Showtime are banking on the titillation factor (but does CBS really want an offshoot of its programming associated with such prurient activity? And, if so, will they be providing the nurse, French-maid and cheerleader costumes?). After all, what do pay-cable networks usually program in the wee hours? If the houseguests don’t start getting busy with one another, viewers will begin clamoring for ShoToo to bring back their softcore cheesefests. I just hope the “Big Brother” producers are stocking up on a hefty collection of lame ’70s jazz-funk to play over the sundry assignations.
Meanwhile, along the same lines, NBC has cooked up “Science of Love: A Modern Dating Experiment” for later this summer. Apparently, the show wants to make its viewers think: NBC’s press department insists the series will ask “a very compelling question: Is it possible to make better love connections through science, or can true love only spring from an initial attraction?”
Say what you will about NBC’s nature-v.-nurture, free-will-v.-predestination debate disguised as a dating show, what “Science of Love” really is, is a 60-minute advertisement for "Perfectmatch.com®, a leading online dating and relationship service. … Fully integrated into the show are Perfectmatch.com’s revolutionary Duet® Total Compatibility System (Duet®), Perfectmatch members and the company’s internationally renowned relationship expert, Dr. Pepper Schwartz. She is also a co-creator of Duet®, a leading-edge assessment and scientifically-based system that helps people find lasting love.”
The Ben Silverman era at NBC has arrived early.
Comments
Dr. Pepper? Seriously?
Posted by: MoroccoMole | June 11, 2007 5:11 PM