David Kronke was appointed Mayor of Television after a bloodless coup in 2000. Since then, he has improved infrastructure, championed greater educational opportunities and fought for reforms that have utterly erased corruption and incompetence from the television industry. Since Mr. Kronke has ascended to power, Television is a far better place. It's almost over: MTV Movie Awards
Mike Myers, receiving the “MTV Generation Award” (apparently a lifetime achievement award for people who haven’t actually gone to the trouble of living their entire lifetime), gave the first acceptance speech in the history of awards shows to turn into a commercial for a car. But product placement in acceptance speeches is actually a pretty brilliant idea. Imagine the possibilities: Clint Eastwood, accepting the Best Director Oscar for his upcoming “The Changeling,” says: “None of this would’ve been possible without the support of Alan Horn at Warner Bros. and, especially, the support of Levitra.”
Since Lindsay Lohan wasn’t able to appear as scheduled, Amy Winehouse is on hand to perform her ditty “Rehab.”
The guy who made “United 300” won for Best Movie Spoof and in his acceptance speech, which was at least as coherent as Jack Nicholson's, pronounced the word “tyranny” tie-ranny and gave shout-outs to people we care about even less than the people celebrities give shout-outs to in their acceptance speeches.
I have the sound down during the commercials – they seem to be making up for that first half-hour ostensibly going “commercial-free,” in spades – but it appears in one that some guy’s iPod controls satellites orbiting Earth, which seems chillingly plausible these days.
Did I call it, or what? Best Summer Movie You Haven’t Seen Yet: “Transformers.”