Satan's spawns are earthbound

There’s a subtle theme running through these items. See if you can guess what it is.

1) “The Omen” is set to spring from fiction to fact, as CNN Headline News harpie Nancy Grace has announced she’s pregnant. Worse, with twins.

She also revealed that she’s married, as well. Her husband’s name: David Linch. No, not that David Lynch, though that’d be wholly appropriate, wouldn’t it?

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2) This guy says that contrary to reports that “The View’s” viewership is steady after Rosie O’Donnell’s departure, they’re actually down, about 400,000 sets of eyeballs. The implication being, now that the circus has left town, viewers have moved on.

Not necessarily. Viewing tends to drop during the summer in general. Ask Brian Williams (though don’t ask Charles Gibson).

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Now that Paris Hilton is free to kill again (what? She didn’t commit murder? Then what was all that hubbub about?), GSN has a new online game, focusing on her new life as a penitent member of society. Actually, it’s pretty much like their old Paris game, instead that she’s stamping out T-shirts rather than license plates. Well, they can't all be gems.

And I may need that Quietus® sooner than I expected: Management has ordered that I watch Larry King and Paris Hilton try to form a coherent thought between them tomorrow evening on CNN.