David Kronke was appointed Mayor of Television after a bloodless coup in 2000. Since then, he has improved infrastructure, championed greater educational opportunities and fought for reforms that have utterly erased corruption and incompetence from the television industry. Since Mr. Kronke has ascended to power, Television is a far better place. What Larry King didn’t ask
Given Paris Hilton’s mainly short, frequently unrevealing-despite-sounding-revealing and seemingly pre-planned responses to his questions (“Don’t serve the time; let the time serve you”), Larry King worked pretty hard Wednesday evening, revisiting previously discussed topics and cajoling her with occasional praise in hopes of getting a response that might come across as more heartfelt.
It didn’t work, really – at a certain point, Paris started sounding like a tape loop, reiterating that life in jail was “terrifying” yet helped her reflect and “figure out who I am” and “I’ve definitely matured and grown a lot from this experience” and “Everyone makes mistakes” and how she’s going to focus on what’s important in life, issues, Zzzz.
King (who booted Michael Moore from tonight’s broadcast – he’s been dispatched to discuss the crucial issue of American health-care system on Friday, when viewership will be a lot lower) had a couple of nice moments – after Paris blathered on about reading the Bible in jail, going so far as to insist, “I’ve always been religious. … I’ve always had a sense of spirituality, but even moreso now” (so that explains the cooter flashes to the paparazzi), he asked her what her favorite Bible verse was; she couldn’t summon up a single one. When he tossed her a softball, asking what she didn’t like about herself, Paris, who’s ostensibly trying to posit herself as older and wiser and less frivolous now (when King used the word “frivolously,” Paris asked, “What do you mean by that?”), whom everyone would’ve reasonably expected to go to the playing-the-dumb-girl card, instead demurred, offering only, “Whenever I get nervous or shy, my voice gets a little high.”
But King might’ve vaulted this lurid, pop-culture curiosity into something truly memorable had he pressed her more on the socio-economic underpinnings of the wild Schadenfreude surrounding her fate. He could’ve asked something about the public’s attitude toward celebrity justice and if she understood why there was such an antipathy toward her pampered and privileged demeanor, particularly after he cited a CNN online poll which found that 63 percent of respondents agreed with the way the justice system treated her. (Paris didn’t bite on that one at all; she even set her face in an unresponsive mode.) He might’ve also attempted to contrast her description of her time spent in jail as “terrifying,” followed up by her observation that some of her fellow inmates really don’t have anywhere else to go when released from jail (making it sort of not all that terrifying from their perspectives).
Of course, King had asked her what she made of the nation’s obsession with her early on, and her reply was a wan, “I have no idea. I’m just living my life.” So maybe King figured (realized?) that she was too myopic to have a take on anyone less fabulous than her.
Or perhaps the handsomely paid King is himself also sort of out of touch with the rest of the planet and it didn’t occur to him to ask her to compare/contrast the vast economic disparities that create this sort of bitterness. Because, let’s face it, the tax dollars L.A. County spent on punishing Paris could’ve been expended on a whole lot more fruitful things (have you tried driving on Silver Lake or Echo Park streets lately? – don’t), but the best the city can do is make its citizens feel nominally better that justice in fact kinda sorta works the same way for rich and poor alike.
Also, hearing Paris’ economic, anthropological and sociological theories would’ve been funnier and more surreal than anything Thomas Pynchon could’ve cooked up.
* ADDENDUM: It just occurred to me - Paris couldn't bring a Bible into jail with her, but unopened fan mail was OK? If so, then the fan mail must've had to have been opened in advance, and therefore it's no surprise it was all positive, since someone weeded all the other stuff out.
Anyway, a Gallup poll taken minutes after the interview found that 98% of Americans declared themselves well sated by coverage of celebutard behavior, and were ready to now focus their attentions on important social issues. (Well, we can dream, can't we?)
The entire, unexpurgated story, after the jump:
Speaking to Larry King Wednesday evening, Paris Hilton repeatedly described her 23-day jail sentence as “traumatic,” “terrifying” and “surreal.”
“Definitely, it was a very traumatic experience, but God does make everything happen for a reason,” Hilton told King. When the host asked her if she had gotten a “raw deal” from the legal system, she replied, “Yeah, I do. But I don’t know – even though I hated it, I’m glad it happened in a way. It’s changed my life. I’m stronger. … It’s a blessing in disguise.”
Hilton, wearing a cream dress with mesh floral print on the shoulders and bow around the neck, largely appeared impassive while speaking with King. At one point, though, while watching video of the media circus surrounding her saga, she smiled sheepishly at him. When she read notes she had written while in jail on a legal pad, she briefly appeared to become emotional. To emphasize points, she’d nod her head.
The King interview was widely anticipated because fans – and cynics – were interested in seeing how Hilton would go about rehabilitating her image. Her time in jail, she declared, helped her “figure out who I am. I took this time just to get to know myself.
“After being there a while,” she added, “I decided I could make the best of it or the worst of it. Don’t serve the time; let the time serve you.”
Hilton described the particulars of life at the Lynnewood prison, including the austere nature of her cell and the food, which she called “scary.”
“It’s jail food; it’s not supposed to be good,” she noted.
She called being strip-searched upon entering the jail “the most humiliating experience of my life – doing that in front of someone you don’t even know.”
“Is it as gross as people think it is?” King asked.
“It is pretty gross,” Hilton replied.
While she joked that “it was nice to be away from all the flashes (of paparazzi bulbs) for a little while,” she also spoke of the panic and anxiety attacks induced by her claustrophobia that initially led Sheriff Lee Baca to release her after three days of incarceration to serve the rest of the sentence at her home.
“I was not sleeping, I was not eating,” she said, adding that she had nightmares about being attacked in her cell.
At times, Hilton got a little defensive. Vowing never to drink and drive after being arrested for her DUI, she added, “Granted, it was one drink.”
Saying she expected to be ordered to perform community service for her probation violation, she said, “I think the crime did not fit the punishment.”
And she refused to respond when King announced than in an online poll, 63 percent of those responding believed Hilton had been treated fairly.
Hilton also deflected questions posed by King regarding other troubled young celebrities. Of Nicole Richie, recently arrested on a DUI charge, she said, “Everyone makes mistakes.” On Britney Spears, she said, “She’s a sweet girl. She’s a good mom.” Of Lindsay Lohan, “A lot of girls have problems.”
Hilton added, “(For) a lot of these girls who got here at a young age and were given too much too soon, it is hard.”
Hilton vowed to abandon her extreme-partying lifestyle and devote more time to charity and raising awareness on important issues. She said she had jettisoned from her life some former friends who had been bad influences, but declined to name names, explaining, “I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings but they knew who they are.”
“I think in life everyone makes mistakes and you have to learn and grow from them,” she said. “I’ve been a little immature in the past.”
Hilton said she read the Bible while in jail, but when asked by King her favorite verse, could not summon one.
On Wednesday evening, “Larry King Live” wasn’t. CNN.com posted a story on the interview, including many details that had not yet been revealed, while the broadcast.
Adding to the hoopla, during “Paula Zahn Now,” which preceded “Larry King Live,” a box in the lower right-hand side counted down the minutes and seconds to the interview.
Comments
So glad I missed this last night. She is such a fucking waste of space.
Posted by: Suzy Q | June 28, 2007 1:12 PM