How Christopher Titus rescued "Big Shots"

“I’m in the middle of a divorce right now. … I lost 20 pounds in my divorce – because that’s what a soul weighs.”

That’s Christopher Titus addressing those assembled for the “Big Shots” TV Press Tour session, the – mercifully – final press conference of the summer tour. Going into the session, critics were fairly skeptical of the show – ABC has a lot of wry soaps focusing on upscale characters (“Dirty Sexy Money,” “Private Practice,” “Cashmere Mafia”), and this one seemed the least of them. The pilot plays, and not just a little, like “Desperate Husbands.”

But Titus (a comic and former star of a fairly edgy Fox sitcom) – and co-star Josh Malina – were so funny during the session in their insults of one another, and they and their co-stars Dylan McDermott and Michael Vartan exuded such great chemistry amongst one another that a lot of the critics who had written “Big Shots” off were won over, or at least willing to give the show another chance. It’s fairly rare that a Press Tour session can resuscitate a show like that, particularly given how late it came in the game, when those who have endured three weeks of this nonsense are running on fumes and in need of resurrection themselves. What could’ve been a dead press conference was instead a spirited and lively affair; “Big Shots” would do quite well if it can capture that energy in each episode.

Later, Titus was extremely gratified to hear that his appearance had won over the room.

“We came in and they told us, ‘You’re the last session,’ and I thought, ‘Wait! You mean after three weeks of this B.S. we’re the last session?’” he told Your Mayor. “I knew we had to be funny, and then I saw (a scene of Malina shirtless in a love scene in the reel introducing the show), and I thought if I start ripping on him, and get him to start ripping on me, and if people see us all together, things would be OK.”

Herewith, some moments from the “Big Shots” press conference:

The first thing out of Titus’ mouth: “I want everyone to know that we are getting Joshua Malina a trainer.”

And later: “Obviously, just seeing Malina with his shirt off that many times just creeped me out.”

Later, Titus caught himself dissembling on something or other at length:

“Holy crap, can I please stop? Somebody stop me. (Gets up out of seat and faces the panel) You guys don't even stop me. Just stop me. You're sitting right there. Just go, ‘Stop, shut up, Titus!’”

A question arose about alternate titles suggested for the show (Titus had complained a little about the title earlier in the session).

JON HARMON FELDMAN (executive producer): "The Chris Titus Show" was one.

CHRISTOPHER TITUS: That was one. "Dylan Has Pretty Eyes." That was another one –

(Laughter.)

-- which I thought, a little too light for me. "Josh Needs to Do More Curls." That was one.

(Collective "Ohhh.")

I don't know. These questions are like -- I hate that everyone's blogging right now and people are hearing me say stupid crap right now across the country.

QUESTION: That happens a lot.

CHRISTOPHER TITUS: Yes, it does.

To a question about McDermott ripping Titus while shooting a scene in which the men play golf:

JOSHUA MALINA: Most of the early discussion was
about -- he has a giant head.

CHRISTOPHER TITUS: I have a giant head.

JOSHUA MALINA: And if you don't block the scene correctly, none of the rest of us can be seen.

(Laughter.)

My memory is that most of the discussion the first day was, "Where are we all going to stand?"

CHRISTOPHER TITUS: Oh, Josh.

JOSHUA MALINA: Not an ego problem, mind you. The
organ itself –

(Laughter.)

-- is very large. … Easter Island.

QUESTION: I really -- I was curious, on a more
serious note --

JOSHUA MALINA: More serious than that?

(Laughter.)

And, apropos of nothing:

CHRISTOPHER TITUS: … We start talking about shows, and I go, "You know, we're like 'Happy Days.'" We all agreed that Dylan is Fonzie, and then Vartan is Richie Cunningham, because he’s the moral center. And then we had an argument over who was Potsie or Ralph Malph.

(Laughter.)

It turns out I'm Ralph Malph.

(Laughter.)

So, not happy about it.

JOSHUA MALINA: It is what it is. Then we started casting "The Godfather," and he was still Ralph Malph.

(Laughter.)

CHRISTOPHER TITUS: I was consigliore Ralph Malph.