David Kronke was appointed Mayor of Television after a bloodless coup in 2000. Since then, he has improved infrastructure, championed greater educational opportunities and fought for reforms that have utterly erased corruption and incompetence from the television industry. Since Mr. Kronke has ascended to power, Television is a far better place. Warning: Corporatese Psychobabble Ahead
CourtTV is soon to be tossed into solitary, with the key thrown away; come 2008, it will be renamed truTV.
Just imagine the hundreds and thousands of dollars expended on the marketing research to come up with that moniker (after “a yearlong process of rebranding the network”), which strikes me as pretty vague. As CourtTV’s programming became more generalized, its name became increasingly too narrow, so something needed to be done. Still, truTV sounds like anything ranging from a romance network to something like Current to, heck, YouTube.
But wait: It gets worse. They decide to slather us with all sorts of marketing jargon:
“Through a dynamic original programming line-up that has been providing the network with strong and consistent audience growth, truTV will target a highly coveted psychographic known as ‘Real Engagers.’”
Blessedly, they’re vague on what constitutes a “Real Engager,” except for this nugget:
“The compiled data showed that the line-up attracts a dual-gender audience that loves programming with real people in exciting real-life situations and a strong interest in compelling stories and characters.”
Dual-gender? Loves programming in exciting real-life situations? Strong interest in compelling stories and characters? Damn, this is some earth-shattering research. No, wait: Sounds pretty much like everyone with a TV. Some marketing firm sure took someone at CourtTV for a ride. But there’s more:
“In truTV, we now have the ideal name that fits both the programming and the target audience. The network will be top of mind for Real Engagers seeking real-life action programming, real-life emotion and access to places they can’t normally go.”
I’ll bet the phrase “top of mind” cost them at least an additional $75K.
Comments
From the top of my mind, I think I'll keep watching Discovery, A&E, TLC, Discovery Health ... What happened to carving out a niche in the huge cableverse?
Posted by: Bill | July 11, 2007 7:20 PM
How can I tell if I'm a dual-gender real engager? Must I be an affianced transexual? I'm just so confused.
Posted by: Suzy Q | July 12, 2007 6:12 PM