Well, someone’s gotta feed the Beckham tots

$250 million sure doesn’t buy what it used to.

David Beckham, that British soccer hero who was handed $250 mill to transform America’s blasé attitude toward the sport, continues his reputation this side of The Pond as an utter bust, falling victim to yet another injury that pretty much ends his first Stateside season. Which translates his paycheck to: $50 million per goal, $50 million per hour and $50 million per nation filled with fans and potential fans feeling like they’ve been ripped off.

So much money hasn’t been desultorily tossed out a window since Dick Cheney’s White House threw all those billions at Halliburton to lose in various cubbyholes in Iraq.

Hence, the responsibility for actually working in America has fallen to Becks’ wife Posh Spice, who has landed a job on ABC’s “Ugly Betty,” playing the challenging role of Victoria Beckham. “Ugly Betty,” you might recall, was a show that was all about not rewarding the anorexically trim and superficial and brain-dead.

Of course, a mere six weeks ago – six weeks? How coincidental – that’s how long Becks’ll be out of commission – Posh was insisting to Your Mayor that she wasn’t moving to L.A. to rev up an acting career:

"I must be the only person in Los Angeles who doesn't want to be in film. … Did you see 'Spice World'? It wasn't that good. I wasn't really that good. I'm not coming to L.A. to form a career, you'll be glad to hear.”

As Larry Craig might note, the devil’s in the details: Notice she said she didn’t want to be in film, but didn’t mention TV.

Not that we like to say “We told you so” (though, of course, anyone who has such a chance absolutely cherishes such an opportunity), but Your Mayor noted what thoroughgoing b.s. the Beckham hype machine was back when otherwise sane minds got steamrollered by it.

And yet somehow, shockingly, sane, dispassionate intelligence is valued waaay beneath blithering idiocy. Which explains why you and I will never see paychecks in the seven (or even six) figures, while Posh – with her 50, 60-word vocabulary and perhaps fictitious jewel-encrusted vibrator – will never be challenged in her assumption that she’s far better than us.

Just think how many promising athletes the Galaxy might’ve signed for $250 million. Worse, consider how many insightful media pundits might’ve profited from such a financial outlay (take me out of the equation, 3, maybe 4).