David Kronke was appointed Mayor of Television after a bloodless coup in 2000. Since then, he has improved infrastructure, championed greater educational opportunities and fought for reforms that have utterly erased corruption and incompetence from the television industry. Since Mr. Kronke has ascended to power, Television is a far better place. Your Mayor kvetches, then offers tchotchkes
Bad news/good news/more bad news regarding Your Mayor’s struggle to get the clueless boobs at PBS to hire him to serve as a highly-paid consultant/talking-head “expert”/author of the coffee-table book version of the Service’s impending documentary miniseries, “The History of Television.”
Bad news: PBS, self-abnegatingly, persists in ignoring me.
Good news: Attention has been paid.
More bad news: Said attention comes from the scurrilous reprobate Ray Richmond, the Hollywood Reporter’s TV critic, in his blog pastdeadline.com.
Longtime readers of this blog will recall when Richmond scandalously libeled me as being “clearly very ill and in need of new meds to keep his schizophrenia in check, as will become instantly obvious upon reading his blog,” not to mention “marvelously twisted and sublime,” adding his faux hope that “the voices inside your head pipe down real soon.”
Well, this time, the rapaciously repellant Richmond has the temerity to insinuate that I have an opportunistic M.O. in my valiant effort to explicate, soberly, said “History of Television:”
“Kronke wants to either write a parody tome or get hired as a talking head/expert and has taken the unusual step of openly campaigning for both jobs by penning his proposal right on his blog. Think of it: marketing your qualifications for one job while fulfilling the obligations of another. Brilliant! Bravo, I say!”
OK, I’ll accept the “brilliant” and “Bravo!” part of that assessment. But where does this so-called “Mr. Richmond” arrive at the notion that my carefully researched “History of Television” is a “parody?” His glibly withering condemnation of my work sinisterly undercuts my burgeoning reputation as a “talking head/expert,” as well as my potential for future income.
Mr. Richmond’s critical assessment of my earnest endeavor to enrich society when it comes to explicating to PBS publicists what they’re f@cking promoting is admirable, but, of course, utterly misguided.
Honestly: I haven’t attempted to contact PBS publicists (most networks check in on TV bloggers, but PBS, well, PBS, they’re a little too refined to give a sh!t about what people have to say about them, even when someone’s trying to restore honor to their network), so they may not realize what insight is being dispensed here.
Hence: Here’re some PBS Emails. Use them at your discretion. But, be advised, whoever inspires a positive response via their Email from PBS will receive a bunch of TV-Press-Tour-tchotchkes. (How cool this is: You might get a CourTV punching guy in which you can place the photo of the man who’s most done you wrong, as well as a Police coffee-table book, something from HBO’s recently cancelled “John from Cincinnati,” some crappy toy truck from the History Channel’s “Trucks Who Kill Human Men” or whatever it’s called, and a whole lot of other junk that I need to clear out of my place.)
OK: So you have to sell “The History of Television” to the point that PBS responds to me that they’re A) either excited about my insights or B) appalled that I’m alive.
Here’re who you should convince that Your Mayor has documentarian insights:
Phil Piga: ppiga@pbs.org
Ellen Dockser: ellen_dockser@wgbh.org
Olivia Wong: olvia.wong@wgbh.org