David Kronke was appointed Mayor of Television after a bloodless coup in 2000. Since then, he has improved infrastructure, championed greater educational opportunities and fought for reforms that have utterly erased corruption and incompetence from the television industry. Since Mr. Kronke has ascended to power, Television is a far better place. Obligatory Emmy Logorrhea II
Predicting Emmy winners is a fool’s errand. Compared to the Oscars, there are too many shows, too many categories. There’s less floating about the Zeitgeist to make it easy to read the tea leaves and, most confoundingly, as opposed to a movie, which is a single entity, released at a strategic time in the year, TV series are ongoing concerns. One show’s or performer’s brilliant season can be trumped by a single episode from another show, since that’s what Emmy voting is based upon. (And only award wonks know which episodes were submitted for consideration.)
A fool’s errand, then, but someone’s gotta do it. We’ll look at the major categories and guess who’ll win both in a perfect world and in a world dominated by the sort of dim-witted Emmy voter who has snubbed “The Wire” for four seasons running.
* Fantastickest Drama Series
In a perfect world: “The Sopranos,” which has only won this title once in its storied history, would go out on a triumphant note.
In an Emmy voter’s world: “The Sopranos” had that enigmatic finale, which some found vexing, so they may opt for the simpler pleasures of the McDreamy’s, McSteamy’s and Mayor McCheesy melodrama of big-hit “Grey’s Anatomy.”
* Funniest Comedy Series
In a perfect world: “The Office” would repeat, or “30 Rock” would go the “Arrested Development” route and call attention to itself (to, ultimately, no avail).
In an Emmy voter’s world: “Ugly Betty’s” style-over-substance substance will resonate.
* Bitchingest Lead Actor/Drama
In a perfect world: James Gandolfini would receive an Emmy Laureate for essaying one of the most indelible characters in television history.
In an Emmy voter’s world: Hugh Laurie would get the props he deserves for almost single-handedly dragging his show into the pantheon of current greats. (Actually, that’d be OK with me, too.)
* Outstandingest Lead Actress/Drama
In a perfect world: Edie Falco (see James Gandolfini).
In an Emmy voter’s world: Kyra Sedgwick (see Hugh Laurie).
* Comediest Lead Actor/Comedy
In a perfect world: Alec Baldwin’s self-deprecating depiction of a brutish lout is worthy of recognition.
In an Emmy voter’s world: Actually, that seems to be how they’d see things, too.
* Hilariousest Lead Actress/Comedy
In a perfect world: Mary-Louise Parker’s edgy/deft/layered/wide-eyed/insert-your-adjective-here portrayal of a beleaguered pot mom has more levels than most of the competition.
In an Emmy voter’s world: America Ferrera’s lovable loser is more lovable than loser (and, again, this would be OK with me, too.)
* Most Talentful Supporting Actor/Drama
In a perfect world: Has Michael Imperioli won? (Answer: Yes.) Oh. Well, then, give it to Masi Oka.
In an Emmy voter’s world: Hell, yeah, give it to Masi Oka: He starred in one of the biggest new hits of the past season playing a character no one had ever tried to create before.
* Alluringest Performance by a Supporting Actress/Drama
Hmmm. All of these annoy me to one extent or another. But somehow Sandra Oh hasn’t won after three previous nominations, so throw her the bone.
* Wit-Filliest Supporting Actor/Comedy
In the only world worth living in: Rainn Wilson, who can perpetuate the atmosphere of perceived dominance he has so ineptly rendered on “The Office.”
* Geniusiest Supporting Actress/Comedy
In a perfect world: Jenna Fischer’s character is the most appealing – actually, hers is the only one who’s appealing amongst the nominees. But does that mean she’s the funniest? Probably not, but oh, who cares – it’s Pam, dammit, and America loves themselves some Pam!
In an Emmy voter’s world: Oh, who am I fooling – I don’t have the first clue to how an Emmy voter thinks. Nor do I want to.
Comments
I vote for MLP!
Posted by: Suzy Q | September 14, 2007 4:10 PM