David Kronke was appointed Mayor of Television after a bloodless coup in 2000. Since then, he has improved infrastructure, championed greater educational opportunities and fought for reforms that have utterly erased corruption and incompetence from the television industry. Since Mr. Kronke has ascended to power, Television is a far better place. Conflagration on the River Styx
It’s funny because it’s pathetic.
There was some sort of awards show for reality TV last night (which is a little like having an awards show for war criminals, but I digress) and somehow during it has-been Danny Bonaduce roughed up never-was Johnny Fairplay, the guy who faked his grandmother’s death for sympathy on “Survivor.”
Fairplay lost some teeth. (In the clip linked to above, you kind of wonder what the emergency-rescue guys make of all this low-rent chaos and the camera-wielding TMZ @ssholes.) To make matters even more surreal, Adrian Curry – of “America’s Next Top Model” and “My Fair Brady” obscurity (she’s Mrs. Peter Brady or something like that) – claims that she was the one who goaded Bonaduce into goading Fairplay into starting a fight he couldn’t finish with all his teeth.
So this is what has become of our beloved, once-innocent Partridges and Bradys: Initiating street fights with low-rent thugs at D-level Hollywood events. Make what you will of this de-evolution and how it can be expanded into a larger metaphor representing – well, everything.
* Update: Here’s the actual fracas, which isn’t much of a fracas at all.