David Kronke was appointed Mayor of Television after a bloodless coup in 2000. Since then, he has improved infrastructure, championed greater educational opportunities and fought for reforms that have utterly erased corruption and incompetence from the television industry. Since Mr. Kronke has ascended to power, Television is a far better place. A handy guide to surviving the new Nokia Theatre
I reviewed Neil Young’s Tuesday concert at the new Nokia Theatre (he’s performing again tonight) and received an Email from a fan (of Neil, not me) who enjoyed the show as much as I did, even though he found himself in the middle of something of a fracas. I offer part of it here for the benefit of those who will attend tonight’s show, hoping it’ll spare you a headache or two:
“I wish someone would have written about the bullsh!t deal with the concessions and the management at the NOKIA handled it very poorly. … I paid over $20 for two drinks after waiting about 25 minutes in line, proceeded to walk back to the orchestra entrance and noticed From Hank to Hendrix had already started, I was bummed but oh well. Then when I tried to enter after the song stopped, they physically stopped me from entering the theater, and then told me and the other 50 fans or so that NO ONE would be allowed in with food or drink!!!
“This was never (mentioned) prior to buying the food and drink though.
“So then the next song started and it was a LONG one (Ambulance Blues) so now we had to WAIT outside whether or not we had food or drink. Many of the people instantly lost it when they were not admitted in and knowing they are missing the show, they were throwing their Popcorn and Sodas and Beer on the floor and walls of the NOKIA theater because they would not allow them inside and they were P!SSED off. …
“(Theater employees) blamed it on Neil Young, said that the artist is at fault and NOT them... that he asked that NO food/drinks be allowed in during the acoustic set. That's all fine and good, BUT, NOKIA management needed to announce that prior to selling the food and drink to fans who wanted to go sit back in their seats and watch the show with their spouses!!”
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More about the Nokia: Our city planners must a) hate us or b) be in thrall to the immense public-parking-lot lobby, as building this venue across the street from Staples Center can translate into about 27,000 patrons converging simultaneously upon what was an already congested area. Parking-lot operators have thoughtfully responded by jacking up their prices, so be warned.
And note: If you’re picking up tickets at will-call or buying them the night of the show, get there early. There are only five ticket windows outside, which seems awfully stingy for a 7,000-seat venue (by contrast, Staples Center has 20, 25 windows for 18,000 seats).
Likewise the lobby seems kind of small for a theater of this size, as well – it was consistently jam-packed during intermissions. (Crowded all the more by people offering to demonstrate and sell cell phones.) Concession lines were likewise overstuffed, though they’re shorter downstairs in the Nokia Lounge, or they will be, that is, until people start realizing there is a downstairs (let’s keep it our secret). Prices are of the same sort of insane, “if-you-can-afford-a-ticket-to-get-in-here-you-can-afford-to-pay-$10.50-for-a-beer-so-suck-it-up-and-pony-up” rates with which Staples gouges its patrons.
On the upside, seating is comfortable with plenty of legroom (at least where I was sitting) and the hall’s acoustics are great. (Perhaps it was just the way the stage was set up for Neil, but you might want to try to avoid orchestra seats close to the stage on the far sides of the theater, because they seemed to offer limited views.) So if you go just for the concert and eschew the frills and the headaches, you’ll have a fine time. Unless, of course, the concert you see sucks.