David Kronke was appointed Mayor of Television after a bloodless coup in 2000. Since then, he has improved infrastructure, championed greater educational opportunities and fought for reforms that have utterly erased corruption and incompetence from the television industry. Since Mr. Kronke has ascended to power, Television is a far better place. Nobody expects a Spanish Inquisition
So Canal Plus Spain is pronounced “Canal Ploos.” Who knew? That is, outside of people who understand how Spanish is spoken.
So I did my aforementioned TeeVee interview with European television about how American television could kick their @sses. (I put it a little more diplomatically than that.) It took place outside a coffee shop at the Grove, which immediately made me look like the sort of douchebag who would hang out at a Grove coffee shop.
Alas, they did not soundproof the Grove beforehand, so there was all sorts of wild sound, what with Grove employees having the temerity to actually do their jobs, whether it be repairing light fixtures or cleaning up trash, and patrons with the brass to go about their days of acquisition, so there were a few retakes in which I was invariably not as pithy and terse and laconic as I had been originally. And the trolley (you know, the trolley that traverses about two whole blocks, and walking’d get you wherever you’re going far faster than it? yeah, that trolley) mucked up shots, too.
But, as my interviewer pointed out, my words were going to be subtitled anyway for Spanish audiences, so no one really needed to hear my exact words. She seemed pleased with my insights into the industry if not my long-winded explication of the encroaching apocalypse that is the writers strike. I just hope the production doesn’t get too creative with the subtitles and have me saying, “Te amo ‘Los Hombres de las Cuevas!’” or “‘Según Jaime’ esta absolutamente fantástico!”
Nonetheless, I’ll rate my performance as a solid (B) I gave them what they were looking for (but shouldn’t quit my day job).