David Kronke was appointed Mayor of Television after a bloodless coup in 2000. Since then, he has improved infrastructure, championed greater educational opportunities and fought for reforms that have utterly erased corruption and incompetence from the television industry. Since Mr. Kronke has ascended to power, Television is a far better place. Someone is offended by something on TV (again)
Our good friends at the Censor Everything We Take Issue With Council – who go by the more euphemistic moniker, the Parents Television Council – are at it again, popping an aneurysm over Tuesday night’s season-five premiere of “nip/tuck.” In words more histrionic than usual, the Group Whose Panties Are Perpetually In A Twist declared:
“News Corp, the FX Network and the producers of ‘nip/tuck’ have made it clear that they intend to serve the most profane, the most sexually explicit, and the most violent content ever seen on advertiser-supported basic cable television; and this season’s premiere is a prime example.”
Cool! Oh, wait, they mean it as a bad thing.
Oh, and they promised to be a big tattletale, too:
“The PTC will be contacting every advertiser that sponsored Tuesday night’s episode of ‘nip/tuck’ and ask whether their corporate values are consistent with content that reaches the depths of depravity.”
Hey, they’re corporations: Of course they’re depraved! Ever hear of Enron or Tyco or Halliburton or Blackwater? (All, I believe, advertise solely on FX.)
As we’ve noted in the past, the PTC really hates FX. I mean, really hates them, because FX has the temerity to offer programming not aimed at 7-year-olds. FX treats viewers like the mature, sophisticated adults they are, and for that, they’re subjected to PTC’s whinnying and hand-wringing.
Anyway, PTC is recommending a new way of getting cable TV, through an a la carte process that would allow viewers to pick the cable networks they want in their homes. And actually, that’s a sane suggestion that has been brought up by other organizations in the past.
But it does have its problems. Do you think your cable or satellite company will go through all the heavy lifting to personalize every household’s cable package for free, out of the kindness of their hearts? In a word: No. So your cable bill will rise even higher, and for fewer channels.
Also, and don’t tell the PTC this, but while the a la carte approach wouldn’t hurt their avowed nemesis FX, one of the most popular cable networks, it would absolutely kill many smaller cable channels, including, for example, those religious networks that the PTC would prefer be the only thing on TV. So the survival-of-the-fittest gambit could actually mean the availability of less wholesome, clean-cut and public-service fare.
Really, you know, when on that one glorious day that the PTC discovers the buttons on their TV remotes that change channels and/or turn their TVs off so they don’t have to subject their eyeballs to the searing images promulgated by that dastardly FX, they will be so happy.