The Presidential Seal of Quality Television

So TV Guide asked the Presidential candidates what they watched on TV, and after no doubt consulting with their advisers and spin-meisters, here’s what they came up with:

* Hillary Clinton: HGTV makeover shows, “Grey’s Anatomy,” “American Idol,” “Dancing with the Stars.” Her all-time favorite, however, is “The Ed Sullivan Show.”

Analysis: Safe choices all: Her ostensible viewership of three of the most popular programs on TV establishes her as part of the mainstream, not some radical fringe, and including “Grey’s Anatomy” indicates she hasn’t completely lost touch with her feminine side. The HGTV makeover shows offer a sly reference to the makeover she hopes to give the White House as well as American foreign and domestic policy, though, really: What Presidential candidate has time to watch HGTV makeover shows?

* Barack Obama: “Spongebob Squarepants,” “M*A*S*H” and “The Wire.”

Analysis: More quirky, more personal choices, though he can wriggle his way out of the eccentric choice of “Spongebob” because he notes it’s a show he watches with his daughters; its mildly subversive subtext gets transformed into a family-values sort of deal. “M*A*S*H” connects with both the anti-war and TV Land contingents, but does his inclusion of “The Wire” suggest he, like the show’s producers, believes the War on Drugs cannot ever be won?

* John Edwards: “Boston Legal,” Fred Thompson’s turns on “Law & Order.”

Analysis: The shout-out to Thompson indicates both a willingness to reach out across the aisle in a display of bipartisanship and a hint that Thompson may have better career choices than Presidential candidate. As for “Boston Legal,” you can take the guy out of the civil-litigator world but you can’t take the civil-litigator out of the guy. I’d’ve figured him more of an “NCIS” guy, since he reminds me of a better-coifed Mark Harmon.

* Dennis Kucinich: “The Tonight Show,” “The Late Show,” “The Daily Show,” “The Colbert Report” and “Saturday Night Live.”

Analysis: He only likes the shows that mention him (because good luck finding the news networks doing so). He gets points for admitting that he doesn’t mind when they make fun of him (which they invariably do), but points subtracted for including the invariably unfunny “SNL” and usually unfunny “Tonight Show.”

* John McCain: “Prison Break,” “because as a fellow prisoner, I always dreamed and plotted how I would break out of the Hanoi Hilton.”

Analysis: Seems a decent enough response, if you’ve never seen the show. On the other hand, if you have, you realize that evil governmental conspiracies are a huge component – and that, honestly, the show is downright perverse.

* Mitt Romney: “Lost” (“a very captivating plot, and if you live a busy life, escape is always welcome”).

Analysis: This would’ve played better had he offered this a year or more back, when the show was actually popular. The Book of Mormon has a very captivating plot with escapist elements, as well.

* Fred Thompson: “SportsCenter.” “I always need to stay up on my Titans, Vols, Vanderbilt and, of course, my Memphis Tigers.”

Analysis: Like virtually every answer he’s given since he actually became a candidate, it’s pretty week. Not the “SportsCenter” part – it establishes him as a man’s man, and all that – but his fan’s myopia suggests an unwillingness to consider alternative points of view (can USC fans trust him? can Yankees fans? Mavericks or Lakers fans? and why no love for the Grizzlies?) that could signal a return to the political gridlock we already have in Washington. And could the fact that he didn’t mention any Hollywood product while happily accepting money from Hollywood be construed by an opponent’s spin-meister as hypocrisy of some sort?

* Mike Gravel: “Wonder Showzen,” “Extreme Elimination Challenge,” “Kathy Griffin: My Life on the D List.”

Analysis: Well, I made that up. But I wouldn’t be surprised.