You can't handle the truth

NBC co-chairmen Ben Silverman and Marc Graboff treated local journalists covering the TV beat to a lunch Monday at the Polo Lounge at the Beverly Hills Hotel, which sort of suggests the poverty producers are claiming during this writers strike may be somewhat overstated (on the other hand, the penne with rock shrimp featured fewer shrimp than usual, so there's that). (Oh, who are we kidding: The food was delicious.)

Given that NBC was the first to pull out of January's TV Press Tour, which subsequently led to scrapping the whole thing (see previous entry), it seemed a little odd that Silverman and Graboff agreed to a confab in which they were pretty mercilessly honest about a whole host of topics, including their own programming (particularly given that the other networks don't offer a similar holiday-season state-of-the-industry event for journalists, or, at least, me). One thing, though: The whole shebang was off-the-record.

Which means I, as a putative professional, cannot tell you:

* The exact day and hour the writers strike will come to an end (as divined via AMPTP's contract with the Illuminati), or which cultish deities will lord over the industry after the strike is resolved.

* Whether or not the next cycle of "The Biggest Loser" will eschew chubbies looking to shed pounds in favor of people who are, in general, just big losers. (And a contractual agreement forces me to refrain from mentioning whether or not I was personally invited to be a competitor if that was the case.)

* Whether viewers should expect the return of their favorite late-night hosts anytime soon, and the progress NBC has made in its development of a fully animatronic Jay Leno.

* How "Scrubs" will find closure despite the writers strike by using "Dawson's Creek's" series finale script, looking five years into the future with J.D. (Zach Braff) a successful filmmaker and Eliot (Sarah Chalke) suddenly and tragically dying.

* How many network reality shows would involve puppies playfully rolling over one another or reality contestants virulently lambasting one another would be aired in the coming months, and what that said as to whether puppies or humans should be in charge of the U.S. Government.

* Who Jeff Zucker keeps forever ensconced with peacock-emblazoned ball gags in GE-sanctioned S&M chambers.

* What Ben Silverman has in mind next for his competition after telling Esquire magazine that ABC's Stephen McPherson was "a moron" and Fox's Kevin O'Reilly (whom he replaced at NBC) "shockingly lacking grace," except to advise those living in Pacific Palisades to wear Hazmat suits on Dec. 17.