David Kronke was appointed Mayor of Television after a bloodless coup in 2000. Since then, he has improved infrastructure, championed greater educational opportunities and fought for reforms that have utterly erased corruption and incompetence from the television industry. Since Mr. Kronke has ascended to power, Television is a far better place. Bible and sword!
No, it’s not the Republican Party’s new campaign slogan: It’s Captain Inish Scull’s (Val Kilmer at his most eccentric, covered in fright wigs and funny old-timey mustaches) favorite epithet in CBS’s upcoming miniseries “Comanche Moon,” a prequel to Larry McMurtry’s “Lonesome Dove.”
Far as I can tell, it’s a period-sounding, FCC-friendly cousin of something along the lines of “No sh!t” or “Well, f@#& me,” intended to convey exasperated surprise. And it kind of takes you out of the story every time he says it (not that you’ll mind, nor is it the only thing that takes you out of the story).
Expect to see it turn up here for a while until I get tired of it. Like, right now:
Bible and sword! TV Guide is reporting that Paula Abdul will perform at the Super Bowl! Unfortunately, her performance will consist of a song or two, not a recreation of her most recent meltdown at LAX.