David Kronke was appointed Mayor of Television after a bloodless coup in 2000. Since then, he has improved infrastructure, championed greater educational opportunities and fought for reforms that have utterly erased corruption and incompetence from the television industry. Since Mr. Kronke has ascended to power, Television is a far better place. “America’s Next Top” Squeal-a-thon
“America’s Next Top Model” returns for its 10th cycle on Wednesday, and the premiere boasts a silly conceit – the aspirants are dressed in schoolgirl costumes and attend “Top Model Prep School.” As usual, they squeal endlessly, and beyond all rational proportion, every time one of the judges appears on scene.
And amidst its catfights and teary meltdowns, the show attempts to shoehorn in a serious subject: One of the contestants was born in Somalia, and was forced to succumb to female circumcision at an early age. While this is certainly a topic worthy of discussion, I’m not sure the deliriously frivolous “ANTM” is the proper forum to analyze it fully.
But you be the judge: Here’s a random collection of lines from the show’s contestants. See if you think sober discussions of genital mutilation rest comfortably around this other dialogue.
“I like to create beauty because I am beautiful.”
“A lot of my friends think that I’m very weird, but in a positive way.”
“I am ready to annihilate the competition. I’m a silent predator – they won’t know what hit them.”
“I had to take an hour just to breathe – not an hour, but you know what I mean.”
“I have fire – my eyes; I am driven toward the camera.”
(Speaking of herself in the third person:) “Shaya is goofy. Shaya is sexy. Shaya is everybody’s fantasy.”
“Hey, you guys want to check out my pubic hair?”
(Speaking of another contestant:) “If I didn’t know (better), I’d think that she might be a transvestite.”
“I look at modeling and I see it as a platform to inspire somebody else and possibly save a life.”
“I am the wrong person to mess with! … You will not call me ‘(bleeped) bitch’ to my (bleeped) face! Shut up, bitch! You’re dead in my book!”
“I love ugly beautiful!”
“I want to know what it’s like to give a lapdance!”
“Bitch, if you touch me, you’re gonna die.”
“I have so much more purpose than anyone else.”
“Most of the girls are cool, but I don’t think they understand how stupid they are sometimes.”
- "America's Next Top Model:" 8 p.m. Wednesday, The CW Channel 5.