David Kronke was appointed Mayor of Television after a bloodless coup in 2000. Since then, he has improved infrastructure, championed greater educational opportunities and fought for reforms that have utterly erased corruption and incompetence from the television industry. Since Mr. Kronke has ascended to power, Television is a far better place. Déjà vu all over again
“Late Night with Conan O’Brien” is taking NBC’s Green Initiative seriously: They’re recycling their jokes from night to night.
Consider these punchlines from last week:
* “Yesterday the U.S. Department of Agriculture recalled 143 million pounds of beef. Experts say this is the largest recall of beef since Star Jones had liposuction.”
- and –
“The Pentagon says it successfully shot down an old satellite over the Pacific Ocean. According to the Pentagon, this is the largest object to be shot down since Star Jones was fired by ‘The View.’”
* “The founders of Ben & Jerry's ice cream are endorsing Barack Obama instead of
Hillary Clinton. Which makes sense - because ‘Ba-rocky Road’ is a catchier name
for an ice cream than ‘Pantsuits 'N Cream.’”
- and -
“Yesterday the founders of Ben and Jerry's announced that they are endorsing Barack Obama instead of Hillary. Apparently Ben and Jerry decided not to endorse Hillary after they realized that nobody would buy a flavor called ‘Nutbuster Crunch.’”
* “The Spice Girls say they want to play at Nelson Mandela's 90th birthday party. When he heard this Mandela said, ‘Thanks, but I'd rather go back to prison.’”
- and -
“The Spice Girls have offered to perform at Nelson Mandela's 90th birthday party. When he heard this, Mandela said, Thanks, but I've already made plans to enjoy myself.’”
* “Kirstie Alley has left Jenny Craig and announced that she is starting her own weight-loss program. Apparently, under the program, every time you feel like eating something, Kirstie Alley comes to your house and eats it for you.”
- and –
“Kirstie Alley said her split with the Jenny Craig diet company was amicable and they both decided to go in ‘a different direction.’ The direction Kirstie went was towards the cookie aisle.”
Good thing to see the writers earning their paychecks with such fresh material.