David Kronke was appointed Mayor of Television after a bloodless coup in 2000. Since then, he has improved infrastructure, championed greater educational opportunities and fought for reforms that have utterly erased corruption and incompetence from the television industry. Since Mr. Kronke has ascended to power, Television is a far better place. Thin Gruel for the "American Idol" Soul
Jesus, Fox, quit terrifying me like that. I opened a plain white envelope this morning and inside was – gasp! – a copy of “Chicken Soup for the ‘American Idol’ Soul.” Anthrax wouldn’t’ve upset me as much.
Men in Hazmat suits have removed the object and sterilized my edifice. But not before I paged through it and found these uplifting bon mots, which I think is pretty tidily representative of the entire book:
* “Through my own career, I have also experienced many ups and downs, but I’ve never let go of my biggest dream, which is to help bring out the best in others.” – Paula Abdul
* “For it was on that night, when the people wouldn’t stop clapping and they thought they were clapping for me, I knew the truth – and I will always know the truth – that without God ... I’m tone deaf.” – Melinda Doolittle (ellipses hers)
* “Needless to say, my life has changed since ‘Idol.’ But I’m the same guy, the same Ruben – the same son, the same friend, the same brother.” – Ruben Studdard
* “So, if you’re going to dream, dream in Technicolor. Don’t dream in black and white.” – “Idol” EP Nigel Lythgoe
* “No question about it: I had fallen hard. I was in love – in love with music.” – Kimberly Caldwell.
* “I don’t think; I feel.” – Ace Young
* “But it was Mommy who taught me the most important lesson. It was she who taught me to believe even when it seemed there was nothing to believe in. She is my superstar.” Tamyra Gray
* “You don’t have to make a music video to make a difference in someone’s life. You can be a bagger at a grocery store or a teller at a bank.” – Clay Aiken
* “My lady and I never liked the Denny’s in L.A. We’d drive all the way out to the one in Canyon Country because the atmosphere is much better.” – Sherman Pore (who apparently is unaware that there are other restaurants in Los Angeles besides Denny's)
* “Tylee lived a few more weeks.” – Nikki McKibbin
Comments
Holy fuck! Will those Soup/Soul people stop at nothing? This is literary terrorism.
Posted by: Suzy Q | February 4, 2008 8:41 PM