A “Miss Guided” attempt at TV screening

A couple of years ago, I ponied up two large for an HDTV. So how do I watch at least half of the stuff that I review?

On my laptop, naturally. And not by choice.

Many of the DVD-R’s of new shows sent out by the networks are of dubious quality and don’t play well – if at all – on my professional-grade DVD player. Or, perhaps it’s just a piece of junk, but I’ve never had a problem with a commercial DVD on it, so I’m voting no. (One network’s DVD-R almost short-circuited my computer; that’s how dodgy these things can be.)

(Aside, for some boring if relevant minutiae: It’s often easy to guess which of the DVD-R’s won’t play on my computer – those whose non-label side are purplish or greenish (as opposed to silver or mirrored, like commercial DVDs) are probably problematic, as are those that come in fancy bells-and-whistles packaging that doesn’t offer the disk appropriate protection from scratches and dust (those in a simple jewel box or a DVD slipcase tend to fare better). (So, pay heed, networks: Tricked-out packaging isn’t necessary a good thing.) The network issuing the disk is a good predictor, as well: All of AMC’s “Mad Men” and most of its “Breaking Bad” DVDs played on my DVD player, while literally nothing from The CW has (though their disks come in slipcases). The exception that kind of proves the rule: The normally reliable FX’s two disks for season two of “The Riches,” silver-backed DVDs in packaging approximating a pop-up book – one worked; one had to be played on my computer.)

Now, ABC is trying something in an attempt to cut down on the expense and environmental waste of creating and mailing all these screeners. TV critics reviewing ABC’s new sitcom “Miss Guided” watched two episodes at a super-secret website (of course, if those critics only have dial-up, it took them 17 hours).

Given the current economy and how much junk (such as prior ABC screeners) is glutting up our landfills, one must applaud ABC for trying to conserve. On the other hand, I’m not sure how thrilled the cast and creators of “Miss Guided” and anyone else whose show is offered online-only is going to be about the fact that the viewing experience takes you back to the early days of television, of watching blurry kinescope images on tiny screens.

I watched one episode of “Miss Guided” on “full-screen” (which wasn’t even that “full-screen,” probably about 6, 7 inches diagonally on my MacBook) and one in small-screen (let’s say 4 inches). The “full-screen” “experience” was like watching a fifth-generation videotape on YouTube, only the screen was a little bigger – images were fuzzy (although I could still tell those were humans there on the screen), sound was a smidgen off-sync, there was an occasional freeze-frame-y sort of glitch. Small-screen was better, but the picture was still blurred and was much smaller than even watching a DVD on my laptop, which I heretofore had considered the least optimal viewing experience for review purposes.

I’ve seen much crisper, larger programs presented online at other sites (FX’s online offerings come to mind), so maybe ABC was just having a bad day. Or maybe they just don’t care about what critics think.

This through-a-glass-darkly viewing experience did not manage to hide the fact that “Miss Guided” star Judy Greer’s performance is very funny and endearing, nor did it conceal the sharpness (or lack of same) of the scripting; I’ve seen enough TV to understand how this’ll play on an actual TV. Still, when movie studios want to wow film critics, they screen their wares on 70mm screens with surround-sound Dolby Stereo; they don’t force them, per Jon Stewart’s joke at the Oscar ceremony, to watch “Lawrence of Arabia” on an iPhone.

That ABC is trying this isn’t apocalyptic or portend doom for the industry, but it does sort of underscore the network’s own trivializing of their own product. These days, there’s an awful lot of genuinely quality programming coming out of TV; offering their fare this way, ABC is conceding that it’s not coming from them.

-- “Miss Guided:” 10:30 p.m. Tuesday; 8 and 8:30 p.m. Thursday, ABC Channel 7. (We’ll offer a full review of the show Tuesday.)