Jim Cramer's going-out-of-business sale

As Jon Stewart pointed out Monday night (called “Broken Arrow,” it’s currently the first video offered at the “Daily Show” site), CNBC’s Jim Cramer last week offered some of the most disastrous financial advice since “Don’t waste your money investing in Google – the Internets is just a passing fad:”

Asked by a viewer if he should take his money out of investment giant Bear Stearns, Cramer, in that emphatic fashion he employs as if speaking to incredibly dim children – scratch that; most children’s show hosts have a more placid demeanor than Cramer – blustered:

“No! No! No! … Don’t move your money from Bear – that’s just being silly! Don’t be silly!”

Overnight, Bear Sterns went from financial giant to financial gnat: After selling for $60 a share late last week (down from $171 last year), on Monday, it was going for two bucks a pop.

Stewart announced Cramer’s new show, “No Matter How Good I Am At This Over The Next 10 Years I Will Never Make Up The Amount Of Money I Blew For People Last Tuesday.”

So this must be Cramer’s going-out-of-business sale: an online auction peddling his bobble-head, his “stable of bulls” toys and, perhaps most useful for the coming apocalypse, a hazmat suit he once tried to wear on the air but got stuck in.

I mention this only because proceeds go to the United Way, which will help out all of us when we’re homeless, and because way down the line in the future these will be valuable memorabilia recalling the final seconds of a gilded age.