Letters to the FCC: "The Simpsons"

You know the drill: People get offended by their naughty, bad, nasty TeeVees; they fire off letters of outrage to the FCC; employees there pass them along among one another and have a laugh; eventually, thanks to the Freedom of Information Act, they get posted online, like this batch denouncing "The Simpsons." You'd think people might realize that after nearly 20 years on the air, you have a better chance at securing economic justice in the United States rather than trying to bring down "The Simpsons," but here you go:

(Note: I'm not even trying to bother to clean up the grammar and misspellings anymore.)

*"The Simpsons cartoon features two women in swimsuits. While there were no nudity, this scene certainly was inapropriate because women should be dressed conservatively and obey the wishes of their husbands."

* "I watched the last few minites of the Simpsons on Feb. 20, 2005. It showed Homer marring two Lesbians on prime time. This has gone far enough! The show desensitises the consept of homosexuality that the Bible says is an abomination. Children are watching this, and if one is on the verge of being gay, it is saying it is OK. You better monitter what is being broadcast better than this. They could not have gotten away with this 10 years ago."

* "This is only one instance of many. Bart Simpson uses sexual innuendos and similarly degrading talk throughout his 'skits' to further destroy what's left of our American culture! I'm sure you realize that our culture is what we use to pass on our values and traditions and heritage, all of which literally keep us going -surviving! You I contend are letting us down by allowing this precious culture to be degraded and destroyed. Please do your job or we all will suffer."

* "I don't watch TV programs very much because there is hardly anything decent anymore. The only programs I watch are news and religious programs, and Bill Cosby's Show.

"I just want to bring to your attention one program that needs to be monitored closely -Simpson! I don't watch this program but sometimes I stumble on it. A few months ago, I happened to hear a very disturbing comments by Homer in the program. He said that "he wants to have sex with his wife infront of their son (Bart). That statement is very troubling, aWful, bulgar, unacceptable, deplorable, you name it, and those descriptions are an understatements. It has troubled my spirit so much hearing it, up to this time whenever I think of it. Such statement should never be said in TV especially by a father. I cannot wait for the day when Simpson will finally not be shown in TV!"

* "FOX has gotten to where they show those animated shows like Family Guy and The Simpsons. They think that parents are not listening to these programs just because they are animated. They are not the old time cartoons and I don't like the language...it is really disgusting. These programs show disrespect to parents from their children, so in turn, my child tries to disrespect me. There are others that I just don't know the names of right now. I try to put on parental restrictions, but it doesn't always work. I would like to see these shows either changed up to show respect to parents and cut the filthy language or just taken oft the air totally. My child hears enough foul language at school and outside of hom, he doesn't need to hear it from TV, radio, etc. too!!!!!!!"

(The following one is nice not only due to the loving detail in which the incident is described, but also because it complains about a joke that no doubt went over the heads of most of the kids watching. If kids did get it, the problem doesn't rest with "The Simpsons:")

* "In this episode, the students of Springfield Elementary School have revolted against the teachers and administrators, taking 'control' of the school. The students eventually catch Principal Skinner in the gym. As they begin to overtake and subdue Principal Skinner, one of the students empties out a large brown-colored drawstring bag that is filled with various sports balls (soccerballs/basketballs/voleyballs etc). Mr Skinner is then placed inside the empty sack and the drawstring was pulled snug around his neck, leaving only his neck and head outside of the bag. My concern, and the basis for this complaint, is in the manner of how the image of Principal Skinner was depicted after he had been placed into this bag and the drawstring pulled. The image of the large drawstring bag very clearly, and undeniably, resembled a non-circumcised penis (flaccid state). Mr Skinner's height was the reason for the length of the brown sack, depicted the 'shaft' and where the sack tapered from Mr Skinner's shoulders up to his neck where the drawstring had been pulled into a 'pucker' depicted the foreskin.; Principal Skinner appears in this depiction several more times during the episode.; Toward the end of the episode, Principal Skinner has managed to hop around while still inside this sack and escape from the gym. Alone in the schoolyard, he encounters a squirrel who just happened to be holding a knife or scissors (some type of cutting device). Principal Skinner, still inside of a sack drawn to resemble an intact penis, then said to the squirrel:; "Mr. Nibbles, would you please come here and cut my ball sack:'; The secondary intention of Principal Skinner's statement should be obvious, but since description is key to an effective complaint, I will briefly elaborate.... -Principal Skinner's use of the word 'cut' was an inferred reference to the procedure of circumcision, whereas a circumcised penis is commonly referred to as being 'cut' and a non-circumcised penis is commonly referred to as being 'uncut'.; -Principal Skinner's use of the term "ball sack" would have been a 'double entendre' intended to refer to the male anatomical part of 'scrotum', which is commonly referred to as "ball sac"."

(Also, I just like the idea of this last one being a government document.)