The Future (Of Television’s) So Bright, I Don’t Need The Shades So Much

Your Mayor will be inordinately busy today and Tuesday, taking in a conference on The Future Of Television. Given that right now, no one has any idea of what Television’s landscape will look like even a year from now, if these people actually reveal any spoilers, it will represent quite the scoop.

The event is billed as “a 2-day executive conference, unlike any other, that brings together key decision-makers from cable and broadcast networks, cable and satellite operators, high-tech and advertising to focus on the future of television.”

Then again, it’s also hawking: “2 Days – 70+ Speakers – 300+ Attendees
(and) Innovative Exhibitors = !!Unrivaled Networking!! 
Breakfast, Lunch, **Poolside Networking Reception**”

Obsession with fierce and unbridled networking, of course, got Television into the sorry shape it is today (Jeff Zucker and Ben Silverman are great networkers, but look at NBC); nonetheless, it’s also apparently the key to The Future Of Television.

Looking at the agenda, it seems the event is more about TV aimed at your laptops and cell phones than your actual TV, so if that really is The Future of Television, you might want to rethink buying that $3K plasma screen and just stick with your iPhone. Also, the event has panel discussions on reality TV and advertising and user-generated content, but little if anything on actual scripted programming, so if that really is The Future of Television, you might just want to invest in a nice clean and true straight razor.

Keynote speakers include Marshall Herskovitz, whose latest project, “quarterlife,” tanked majestically not only on NBC but also proved underwhelming in its online iteration, so clearly he knows what he’s talking about; the Alex Toffler-like Carson Daly; and Joel Hyatt, who, as co-creator of the forward-looking Current TV, actually probably knows what he’s talking about, but he’s speaking at 9 a.m. Tuesday, long before I will have been able to fully caffeinate myself, so I won’t likely understand a word he’s saying.

Just a guess, but The Future Of Television is no doubt going to be filled with a lot of jargon. “Interlaced multi-platform threnody stratagems” and “interface modality conceptualism paradigms” and “interactive real-time target-demographic cyber-viral-marketing integration loops” will make damn sure the rest of us haven’t a clue as to what’s going on.

If the Roosevelt Hotel has free WiFi access (big if) and if the blog server isn’t going into one of its paroxysms of petulant-teen pouting (bigger if), I’ll be issuing interactive real-time target-demographic dispatches as events warrant. If not, you’ll find out what The Future Of Television is when it actually happens.