E!: EEeeeeeeeeee! Denise and Dina's contributions to the Too Much Information culture

You know it's a slow cycle in the entertainment world when the stars of E! reality shows are getting face time on "The View" and "Late Show with David Letterman." But then, these aren't exactly just any old lame reality shows; they both carry the fetid whiff of exploiting the exploitation of the tabloids - "Living Lohan" and "Denise Richards: It's Complicated," both of which premiere Monday.

Both shows feature similar lines: "There's nothing more important than family to me," Dina says. "My life is all about family," Denise says. And we all know the best way to demonstrate that is to trot one's kids out for public inspection on reality shows for an easy paycheck.

"Living Lohan" focuses on Dina Lohan, who demonstrates some of the mother-of-the-year qualities that has resulted in daughter Lindsay emerging as the paragon of virtue that she is today. Here, we see her working her magic on 14-year-old Ali, hellbent to transform her into a star, as well, seemingly oblivious to the fact that Lindsay has so tainted the brand that the only people who would be anxious to work with her are charlatans looking to make a quick buck off the name but incapable of providing quality material.

When a record producer working with Ali claims in the tabloids to be dating Lindsay - he's using Dina's daughters to boost his career in the same way that she's using E! to boost Ali's - Dina thinks that's beneath contempt. OK, Dina, you're halfway there; now, just connect the dots ...

As for Richards, her kids don't turn up much; it's more about how her life is a mess because she freely admits she's attracted to celebrity @ssholes. So it offers up high-powered sequences of her sitting around in the DMV and seeking out a boar stud for her sow. Monday's installment features not one but two scenes of pigs humping, which means someone at E! actually understands what a metaphor is.

A full review will come Monday in the Daily News. If that's not something to live for, I don't know what is.