"Flight of the Conchords:" A viewers guide for people who hate viewers guides

As part of my research for today's story on Flight of the Conchords (with typos added for your inconvenience!), who will perform at L.A.'s Orpheum Theatre Friday and Sunday, I watched the entire first season of the New Zealand duo's HBO series in a marathon screening session with my pal Sheila (probably not her real name; I haven't checked), a friend without benefits with whom I have had a number of onesomes. Together, we divined a number of recurring themes and trends in the show that I feel forced, as it's my job and all, to share with you now.

First, here's a song from the band that they didn't manage to incorporate into their series:

Now, onto the recurring themes and trends not mentioned in that story linked above:

* Jemaine and Bret don't know how to dress to accommodate New York weather.

Early episodes of the show find characters with bright-pink noses, despite their wardrobe, indicating that they were performing scenes in freezing temperatures regardless of what the scene actually called for. And then, a mere episode or two later, you see them sweating their @sses off while trying to act all nonchalant.

* New Zealand kind of sucks.

Throughout the series, it's mistaken for Australia, which the characters Jemaine and Bret pretty much hate. Their manager Murray (Rhys Darby), who works for the New Zealand Consulate, has posters on his office walls that offer such wan selling points for the country as "Don't Expect Too Much - You'll Love It" and "It's Not Part of Australia;" when Jemaine is described by a cop as talking "like a robot," it's explained to her, "That's the New Zealand accent." All anyone they encounter knows about it is that "Lord of the Rings" was shot there.

But, as the guys will somewhat xenophobically remind you, Australia's much worse.

* These guys are more inept at women and relationships than, say, Bret Ratner.

Exhibit One:

Exhibit Two:

But the show was keen on striving for verisimilitude. When shooting the music video for "The Most Beautiful Girl (In the Room)," the actress to whom Jemaine poured out his heart really was the most beautiful girl in the room. A production assistant who was a little prettier was sent for coffees while the sequence was blocked and shot.

* The show ran out of steam as its first season wore on.

The deadpan humor that fans loved was supplanted in later episodes by broad turns by supporting players that threatened to overwhelm Bret and Jemaine's subtle approach. Consider Will Forte's "actor" who agreed to play a record-company executive to bolster Murray's flagging spirits in episode 11, or Todd Berry and Demitri Martin as the novelty musicians in episode 12. Worse, they kind of ran out of songs to interpret into music videos as the show went along: In the last four episodes, only two songs (both in episode 10, which, just guessing, was shot earlier in the production cycle) turn up on the recent "Flight of the Conchords" CD. The last episode is relegated to not one but two lame "Flashdance" parodies. So perhaps it's a good thing that the second season has been pushed back to a 2009 premiere - they'll have more time, and stamina, to make all the episodes funny.

Ah, but that's a buzzkill note to end this entry on. So here're two versions of one of their most inspired parodies: "Bowie in Space," here performed years ago:

And here, on the show itself, when it was simply entitled "Bowie:"

Anyway, those Orpheum shows are long sold out, but eBay is thoughtfully offering you the chance to still score tickets (which originally cost $32 per) for, like, 10 times that amount or so.

And now, if you'll excuse me, business hours are over.