You can set $7,900 on fire - or you can buy a full-scale Cylon Centurion Robot. Your call.

If you want to brand yourself as King of the Ubergeeks, all you need do is buy a full-size Cylon Centurion Robot from "Battlestar Galactica."

You can get one from either the dopey original series or the cool new one. These Cylons are seven feet tall, weight 300 pounds, have little LED lighting effects in their visors - and sell for a cool $7,900. (That's, like, $8,000 minus the $100 Hopeless-Nerd Rebate.)

(By the way, please note that Cylon Centurion Robots are famously designed to kill humans. The manufacturer disavows anything that might happen to humans you allow near your Cylon Centurion Robot.)

From the press release:

"The Cylon Centurion replicas were both molded and hand-sculpted to perfection in [Fred] Barton's Los Angeles studios using an original costume from the 1970s and a computer generated, automated foam-cut Cylon, which was scaled to the imposing height of seven feet. The body is made of 100% fiberglass. The classic Cylon Centurion boasts a 'reflective showroom finish,' while the Cylon from the current series bears a 'distressed multi-tone finish.' Both incorporate synchronized stereo sound and lighting effects, advanced electronics and red LED light effects."

I recognize that I cannot dissuade any true "Battlestar" fan from blowing their life savings on one of these steroidal toys. But just let me say this: Oh, pathetic geek who is considering buying a giant play-pretend robot, remember that pact you made with yourself to get laid some time before you died? $7,900 will go a long way to making that dream come true! And you don't have to squander your cash on one of those Eliot Spitzer three-diamond whores - you can just help yourself to a crack-addicted streetwalker and, for that money, get laid, like, a thousand times!