Hey, ladies - he's available

If Brad Garrett is looking a little dismayed in that photo, it may be because he recently awakened from a bender to discover that he had signed a contract to star on an Internet reality show, "Dating Brad Garrett."

Really. It'll be 10 episodes; in each, Garrett'll go on a blind date. It'll be just like "The Bachelor," only instead of a dashing, successful guy, it'll be a guy who makes a living playing gormless sadsack behemoths. Garrett's ex-wife will be among those picking the women he goes out with from online submissions (they're accepting them starting today, so go for it, ladies!). Humanity will emit one more sigh of despair as creationists celebrate one more compelling debate point arguing against evolution.

Garrett must not've gotten the memo about Fox renewing his sitcom "'Til Death." This is the sort of grasping, sorry thing a celebrity does when they're desperate for work, not when they're gainfully employed. In a press release announcing the show, Garrett says he's "adverse to pain." Apparently not, given that I can't think of many things that'd be more painful that participating in this venture.