Today's - what? - third, fourth sign of the End Times
A press release that traversed my inbox:
Rock Paper Scissors "comes home" to Fox Sports Net (FSN) with deal to televise 2008 USA Rock Paper Scissors League Championship sponsored by [Beer Company stooping to new low for cheap publicity]. Champion to compete in Beijing.
Los Angeles - June 11, 2008 - The USARPS League (www.usarps.com) is proud to announce that the third annual USARPS League Championship Tournament sponsored by [Beer Company stooping to new low for cheap publicity] will be televised as a FSN's 'Best Damn Sports Show Period' special.
"FSN has always been on the cutting edge of programming - and we're thrilled to partner with them again on our largest tournament to date," said USA Rock Paper Scissors League Commissioner and Executive producer of the show, Matti Leshem. ...
Other pulse-pounding things soon to be on your TeeVee:
* Fox Sports: The International Playground Kickball semi-semi-finals, live from Akron, Ohio.
* WE tv: Kids playing jump-rope on a playground somewhere.
* Discovery HD: Reality show in which guys ask their doctors if their moles might be cancerous.
* GSN: Reality-competition series in which people play Spider Solitaire for Starbucks gift cards.
* Animal Planet: Live webcam feed from a dogsitting service.
* The N: Reality show of tweens texting one another.
* Speed: Helicopter footage of gridlock on the 405.
* C-SPAN: Round-table discussion show in which bloggers boast about what their blogs provide that people can't find anywhere else on the Internets.
* E!: Ill-informed friends with no sense of film history and suspicious aesthetic judgment discuss recent movie releases (oh, wait, they already show that).
* NBA TV: Real-time reality show in which casual fans watch NBA games on TV while discussing stats and their personal lives and eating chips and drinking beer.
* Sci Fi Channel: Ron Paul followers explain why he'd make a good President, or World Regent, or something.
* Fine Living: People packing suitcases, then remembering they can't afford a vacation this summer, then unpacking them.
About this blog
David Kronke was appointed Mayor of Television after a bloodless coup in 2000. Since then, he has improved infrastructure, championed greater educational opportunities and fought for reforms that have utterly erased corruption and incompetence from the television industry. Since Mr. Kronke has ascended to power, Television is a far better place.
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