"House:" "You're really milking this bereavement thing, aren't you?"

House (Hugh Laurie) has but one friend, Wilson (Robert Sean Leonard), and now, he doesn't even have him anymore. At the end of last season, House's drunken stupor was responsible, at least tangentially and probably even moreso, for Wilson's girlfriend's death (those responsible for Leonard not scoring an Emmy nomination for that episode are probably the same folks who blew that last-second fumble call in the Denver Broncos-San Diego Chargers game), and so, as season five begins, Wilson wants nothing to do with House or, even, the show in general - he's getting the hell out.

(Even hopped up on Vicodin, he should know better than to chew on his shirt cuffs. Or to wear that color after Labor Day.)

Of course, last season began with House's previous team (Omar Epps, Jennifer Morrison and Jesse Spencer) having gotten the axe, and that didn't even last one episode. So do we really expect Wilson won't be sticking around in some capacity? And if they keep threatening to bounce some key characters but don't, they're just going to become the "House" that cried wolf.

Tuesday's season-five premiere is a reliably strong episode, as the patient du jour is an assistant to a driven harpy who champions women's causes but denigrates the women who serve her. Her ailment resonates with Thirteen (Olivia House), who has been diagnosed with Huntington's and wishes the patient were more assertive, but the patient lives only to serve - that is, if she actually survives her malady.

So it's an interestingly back-handed look at feminism, while also exploring House and Wilson's relationship - House actually implores Wilson for help, telling him, "Your friendship means more to me than this patient." Wilson, however, is unmoved, or, at least, unwilling to be manipulated further. Sundry members of House's team offer Wilson disparate advice on how to deal with this grave impasse.

So, Tuesday's episode is rock-solid. Next week's episode, I'm not so sure - it introduces a dodgy character that seems sleazy and scarcely much fun, a private investigator engaged by House to poke around in patients' backgrounds in the same way he had his team members do so, recalcitrantly, in the past.

It's a splashy episode with a lot of death and mayhem, leading back to an organ donor whose organs must've been pretty dodgy.

And so, season five: Three colonoscopies in two episodes! And one on a dead guy! And that one, with a really queasy result! Boom!

(Would they really break up this dream team? And, if so, who would stick around to watch "Fringe" afterwards?)

- "House:" 8 p.m. Tuesday, Fox (Channel 11).