Wednesday-night ratings: Bodies everywhere (and we're not just talking about "Criminal Minds"' storyline)

Wow, was Wednesday night a bloodbath. MediaWeek ratings maven Marc Berman declared six shows "Losers" and two more "Disappointing." Should be a fun recap.

Looks like ABC's just going to have to be all "Dancing with the Stars," all the time. Its relaunch of its evening of sophomore shows pretty much tanked. "Pushing Daisies" lost half of its original audience year to year (6.3m viewers last night), "Private Practice" lost close to half its debut crowd (8.05m) and the only reason "Dirty Sexy Money" didn't lose half its viewership is because its was never very large to begin with. Still, "DSM's" 7.14 million viewers were on a par with what the show was doing before it took a premature writers-strike-induced vacation. The other two shows lost a couple million or so apiece from their final audience size last season.

So if ABC had brought these shows back after the strike ended, they might've discovered their viability or lack thereof then, and spared themselves the grief of going through a costly and futile relaunch. Of course, since they didn't have any other shows in development, Wednesday would've just become Test Pattern Theatre Night, but the cost-to-viewership ratio might've been a little better.

Berman, ever the diplomat, deems "Private Practice" merely "disappointing," even though, as the anchor of the night, it's sunk the whole ship. But it did do better than "Knight Rider" (7.56m), "The New Adventures of Old Christine" (6.86m), "Gary Unmarried" (6.97m), "Lipstick Jungle" (5.3m) and "'Til Death" (4.66m - oh, yeah, by the way, Fox cancelled "Do Not Disturb" last week, but it was hardly worth mentioning since no one would've noticed anyway). Here's what qualifies as upside - "Knight Rider" didn't drop off from last week, and "Gary Unmarried" improved a smidgen from its lead-in. These factors will inspire network executives to exercise something in very short supply: patience.

So, what did well? "Bones" actually won its hour, which might've been a first for it in terms of competing against all-new shows (9.8m). "Criminal Minds" won its hour, but that's no big news flash (14.51m), as did "CSI: NY" (14.67m). And "America's Got Talent" got 12.55 million viewers, but that's the end of bright spots for NBC, as that show has finally come to its conclusion.

And The CW was The CW. As usual.