Putting The Mayor of Television on the couch

Typealyzer, a new website, puts blogs on the couch and analyzes their personalities. So, in the interest of science, I offered this one up for its perusal, and this is what came up:

The Doers

"The active and playful type. They are especially attuned to people and things around them and often full of energy, talking, joking and engaging in physical out-door activities.

"The Doers are happiest with action-filled work which craves their full attention and focus. They might be very impulsive and more keen on starting something new than following it through. They might have a problem with sitting still or remaining inactive for any period of time."

Hmm. Clearly, this Typealyzer has no idea what it's talking about. Outside of walking my dog, all I do is sit on my can and type up this mirth-inducing prose for your benefit.

I decided to give it another chance, though, and typed in the Permalink for the previous entry in this blog, the "nice paranoid rant" (per a commenter) on "The World's Closing In On Me TV," and this was the response:

The Thinkers

"The logical and analytical type. They are especially attuned to difficult creative and intellectual challenges and always look for something more complex to dig into. They are great at finding subtle connections between things and imagine far-reaching implications.

"They enjoy working with complex things using a lot of concepts and imaginative models of reality. Since they are not very good at seeing and understanding the needs of other people, they might come across as arrogant, impatient and insensitive to people that need some time to understand what they are talking about."

Now we're getting somewhere. I entered my account of my hellish night on the red carpet at the "Twilight" premiere, and got this:

The Performers

"The entertaining and friendly type. They are especially attuned to pleasure and beauty and like to fill their surroundings with soft fabrics, bright colors and sweet smells. They live in the present moment and don't like to plan ahead - they are always in risk of exhausting themselves.

"They enjoy work that makes them able to help other people in a concrete and visible way. They tend to avoid conflicts and rarely initiate confrontation - qualities that can make it hard for them in management positions."

Again, hmm. Clearly, this blog is schizophrenic.

Finally, I offered up my "History of Television" series (as seen in the Tag Cloud), my ill-fated attempt to weasel my way into PBS's upcoming documentary on TeeVee or at least to write the companion coffee-table book. An expansive, sweeping narrative, it actually contained a fact or two. Typealyzer came back with this:

The Visionaries

"The charming and trend savvy type. They are especially attuned to the big picture and anticipate trends. They often have sophisticated language skills and come across as witty and social. At the end of the day, however, they are pragmatic decision makers and have a good analytical ability.

"They enjoy work that lets them use their cleverness, great communication skills and knack for new exciting ventures. They have to look out not to become quitters, since they easily get bored when the creative exciting start-up phase is over."

Ladies and gentlemen, we have a winner.