Your evidence of The End of Western Civilization du jour: "Bad Girls Club"

The shouting begins within four seconds. Within 15 seconds, the slapping stars. Kicking and punching begins at 33 seconds.

Welcome to Oxygen Channel's "Bad Girls Club," or, more to the point, "Women in Dire Need of Haloperidol." The producers of this concoction (who likely would've preferred the screaming start even sooner, but got all responsible-feeling and stuff and opened with an establishing shot) decided that seriously unhinged sociopaths should be rewarded for their extreme anti-social behavior with temporary residence at a posh mansion and TV cameras following them 24/7. If, in fact, you are sane, you don't give people like this a TV show and a mansion. You institutionalize them.

Meet your bad girls:

Sarah ("The Party Girl"): "My nipples are probably hard." ... "When I'm attracted to someone, I'm going to f@ck the hell out of them." ... (Belches.) ... "I'm more of a slut than a drinker."

Tiffany ("The Warden"): "I won't start sh!t, but I will finish it."

Whitney ("The Straight Shooter"): "The one person you should probably not f@ck with is me." ... "I'm a Boston chick, and that means, go f@ck yourself." (Whitney is genetically incapable of saying two sentences without using the word "Boston.")

Amber I ("The Control Freak"): "I'm very rude, conniving, opinionated ... I've a very bad person to know."

Kayla, AKA KC ("The Loose Cannon"): "Look bitches, I don't tolerate the bullsh!t ... I'm gonna f@ck you up."

Amber II ("The Firecracker"): "Sex is so much more fun."

Ailea ("The Instigator"): "It's so much fun to make people mad. ... 'I p!ssed her off - yeah!'" ... "I say things that offend people all the time."

As you've no doubt figured out, these women were cast for their utter lack of any redeemable qualities. When they arrive at their mansion, it's locked, so one breaks a window and enters. When a guy shows up to repair the window, another parades around topless in front of him. They get thrown out of two bars and one restaurant in the first episode alone.

The point of the show, I suppose, is to snicker with Schadenfreude at these blithering idiots' obnoxious cluelessness, but listening to them screaming at one another virtually nonstop and watching them throwing drinks almost as often becomes a wearying exercise pretty early on. I can't imagine having to be one of the show's cameramen and having to hang out with these abject harridans for hours on end - even a couple of the women themselves seem exhausted with all the drunken diva drama by the end of the first episode.

Naturally, the gals prove to be fairly interchangeable, making it hard (and pointless) to attempt to track their individual character arcs (that was an attempt at dry humor, because there are no character arcs, just nonstop venal, dim-witted pettiness). So here're just some random lines from the first episode that sum up the show better than I could ever bother to try.

"I'm going to use your beer bottles as a sex toy."

"We do what we want when we want."

"Did y'all see all the hooker shoes?"

"I think I need a vibrator because I've never bought one ever in my life and I really want one."

"I'm not used to trying to get people to like me."

"Maybe I'm high maintenance, you know?"

"I'm gonna kill someone. ... I'm nice today, but I can be a bitch from the hood tomorrow."

"Don't let me get drunk, don't let me get drunk. ... Yeah, I'm a bitch."

"If a black person walked in here, I'd treat them very, very nicely. Mexicans, a little bit different, because I think they're illegal."

"I'm about to go the f@ck off."

"They fightin'! They fightin'! They fightin'!"

"The black bitches should be gettin' along. And the black bitch is acting fake."

"How did you get such amazing boobs? I'm not used to everyone around me have such good ones, too."

"If it were up to me, I'd be naked all the time. ... Like misery loves company, nakedness loves company."

"Girls get jealous of me, no matter where I am."

"On God in heaven, I'm not going to hit you now, but you need to walk away."

"When I get angry, you don't want my blackout stage because I go nuts."

"I wanted to come here and party but right now I'm not impressed. I want to go home."

"I can't get over this - I've never been kicked out of so many places before."

"Are we going to be throwing drinks every night?"

- "Bad Girls Club:" 10 p.m. Tuesday, Oxygen.