Paula Abdul - really, does anything more need be said?

According to an "American Idol" promo, "Every dream starts with a song," and while that's demonstrably untrue, it's true that every good "American Idol" press conference features a moment in which Paula Abdul calls attention to herself, and not in a good way.

And so it went this afternoon at TV Press Tour, where Abdul and new judge Kara DioGuardi began the session chummily holding hands. Halfway through, DioGuardi was leaning as far away from Abdul as she could.

"We have a great history together, and it bothers Simon (Cowell) no end," Abdul said of her friendship with DioGuardi, whom she took under her wing a decade back (they wrote a song together, "Spinning Around," that was a hit in Europe, wherever that is) and moved her into her home. Which apparently gives Abdul license to share embarrassing anecdotes about her friend.

"She walks in her sleep," Abdul revealed. "I'd get up in the morning, and there'd be food ground into my carpet, and she doesn't even recall doing that."

DioGuardi copped to that indiscretion, but the two bickered over how long she stayed with Abdul. "I have a bad memory," DioGuardi conceded, and when Abdul started telling another story, she leaned away in horror - or mock-horror - and whinnied, "You're not telling this story."

Actually, yes, Abdul was telling the story: "A friend of hers said to her, 'Remember being at Mardi Gras and someone grabbed a body part and stole your purse?' And she said, 'No I don't remember.'"

"I can't believe you told that story," DioGuardi sulked.

"I didn't say what body part," Abdul offered.

Abdul was asked about her criticism of "Idol's" producers, particularly over the way the show allowed Paula Goodspeed, who had been stalking the "Idol" judge, to audition for the show. Goodspeed committed suicide outside Abdul's home last November.

"That's a loaded question," Abdul said, before embarking on a roundelay of dissembling: "I was not quoted saying anything disparaging about 'American Idol' at all. ... I am a big fan of the show. It's the greatest show in the world, worldwide."

In December, Abdul told Barbara Walters, "I said this girl is a stalker of mine and please do not let her in," and added that the producers Abdul allowed Goodspeed on the show "for entertainment value. It's fun for them to cause me stress. This was something that would make good television." Asked why she still worked for people who would pull such a potentially dangerous stunt, she desultorily replied, "Well, I'm under contract."

Executive producer Ken Warwick took a page from the Alberto Gonzalez playbook, simply insisting he couldn't recall the event.

"I can't talk about it anymore - it's an ongoing police report," Abdul added.

Executive producer Cecile Frot-Coutaz interjected: "I don't think we should spend all this time talking about [the suicide]. ... Being a big fan to what happened is a big difference. Nobody could have known, and we're terribly sorry that it happened... I don't think it's fair to keep talking about it."

And so they didn't. But what they did talk about in its stead wasn't as interesting.