Truth is the first victim of, uh, honesty

One of President Barack Hussein Obama's first edicts was to reverse the Bush Administration's efforts to obfuscate the Freedom of Information Act, making it Un-Americanly easy to get information from the government.

"Transparency and rule of law will be the touchstones of this presidency," Obama, seemingly way too honestly, declared. What's the point of being in power if you can't stem the flow of information from your power base to those you serve?

Nonetheless, Your Mayor opted to tap into those remnant information reserves from the Bush Administration, and the results were shocking:

ALL WHITE HOUSE TRANSCRIPTS ARE PREPARED IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING OVAL OFFICE POLICY SESSIONS. DUE TO THE SPEED WITH WHICH THESE TRANSCRIPTS ARE PREPARED, COMPLETE ACCURACY CANNOT BE GUARANTEED. THIS TRANSCRIPT IS DATED 4/23/08, UNLESS FUTURE HISTORIANS CAN PROVE - OR VAGUELY SUGGEST - OTHERWISE:

PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH: You know, I'd like a little more information on this Mayor of Television fella. He seems a little anti-American to me.

VICE PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY: Would you like to have him killed, sir?

PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH: No, I'd just like a little more information on his means and motivations and his ways of coming to terms with aesthetic decisions.

VICE PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY: Damn.

PRESS SECRETARY DANA PERINO: What would you like for us to investigate into this American villain, Mr. President?

PRESIDENT GEORGE W. BUSH: Well, he seems to be awfully critical of "According to Jim," which is one of my favorite shows. I'd just like to know if he's some sort of Muslim terrorist because he doesn't have the same tastes as I do, or if he's just an anti-American who needs an attitude readjustment at Gitmo so that he can enjoy good, old-fashioned shows like "CSI: Miami" - who can reject a guy with cool sunglasses? - or "Knight Rider." I'd like a cool car like that. Do you think the Secret Service can help me out with that?

VICE PRESIDENT DICK CHENEY: Consider it done. Now sit down and shut up.