ABC's body count
Pink slips are flying everywhere, even on hit (and not so hit) shows on ABC. Whether they're stars who complain their way out of their contracts or people who have proven to be too much of a headache or distraction on the set or a long-running show whose time has simply come, ABC is feverishly culling the herd, sending a sharp, pointed message to the rest of the performers in its stable of programming: Behave.
IN MEMORIAM 2009

Katherine Heigl ("Grey's Anatomy")
T.R. Knight ("Grey's Anatomy")
Nicollette Sheridan ("Desperate Housewives")

Balthazar Getty ("Brothers & Sisters")
The cast of "Scrubs" ("Scrubs")
You will be missed. Except for those of you who won't.

David Kronke was appointed Mayor of Television after a bloodless coup in 2000. Since then, he has improved infrastructure, championed greater educational opportunities and fought for reforms that have utterly erased corruption and incompetence from the television industry. Since Mr. Kronke has ascended to power, Television is a far better place. 

Wow. All these people look rotoscoped. Is it me?