Did you pay attention to any of the Super Bowl play-by-play calling? Didn't think so

TAMPA (Staff and wire services) - NBC play-by-play man Al Michaels and color analyst John Madden embarked upon a unique experiment and decided to see if any viewers at Super Bowl parties across the country were actually paying attention to what they were saying during the clash between the Pittsburgh Steelers and Arizona Cardinals during Super Bowl XLIII. Apparently, few were, because NBC Sports reported no complaints about their coverage of the game, which NBC reported - accurately, it turns out - that Pittsburgh won, 27-23.

Michaels referred to Arizona quarterback Kurt Warner as Troy Aikman throughout the second quarter, Joe Montana in the third and Bart Starr in the fourth, an apparent reference to the veteran athlete's advanced age. Madden, while diagramming a play on his telestrator early in the second half, poured gasoline on his gadget and set it on fire, resulting in a splash of onscreen color. "Boom!" Madden expostulated. "Did I just blow your mind?"

Sideline reporter Alex Flanagan offered a long-winded but entirely fictitious anecdote on Steelers coach Mike Tomlin's inspiring childhood battles with leukemia, polio, eczema and restless-leg syndrome. And during post-game analysis, commentator Cris Collinsworth continued the dissembling, speculating that the Steelers won because, as he put it, "The players were sneaking jackhammers onto the field and drilling Cardinals players when the refs weren't watching. This represents an incredible black eye for the NFL, and Commissioner Roger Goodell had better announce an investigation first thing Monday Morning. That, or he should just bounce Arizona out of the league for not putting up enough of a fight."

"Let's face it - everyone is watching the game from a party or at a bar, and they're talking and cheering and carrying on, so we're essentially irrelevant to the proceedings," Michaels said in an interview prior to the game. "What we say or do really doesn't matter, as long as people have ready access to the visuals and copious amounts of beer."

One fan reported hearing the miscues. "I actually did hear Al Michaels call out 'Fumble!' instead of 'Touchdown!' on the Steelers' second score, and then, Madden called James Harrison's 100-yard return of an interception for a touchdown at the end of the first half as 'Not that big a deal,'" said Otto Ausflucht, 38, of Winslow, Oklahoma. Ausflucht attributed his ability to discern the mistakes due to the fact that, as he put it, "I have no friends and watched the game alone and my neighbor's party wasn't all that loud, so I could hear parts of the game."

Even half-time performer Bruce Springsteen got in on the act, performing his classic-rock anthem "Born to Run" with all-new lyrics celebrating a life of unblinking obeisance to social mores and a spiritually crippling life of cubicle dwelling.