Thanks, but no thanks

Abilify© may be the first mood-enhancing drug whose commercials spend more time on the disclaimer listing the sundry - and extraordinarily worrisome - potential side effects than on actually trying to sell you the product. (I've seen the commercial a lot on news channels lately, which should tell you something.) The commercial goes something like this:

"Depressed? Take Abilify©.

"Abilify© could increase risk of suicide in children, adolescents, and young adults with Major Depressive Disorder. It can also cause neuroleptic malignant syndrome, Tardive Dyskinesia, hyperglycemia and Diabetes Mellitus, Orthostatic Hypotension, esophageal dysmotility, seizures and/or convulsions, the potential for Cognitive and Motor Impairment, and suicide. It can also cause akathisia, extrapyramidal disorder, dizziness somnolence and tremor, fatigue, nausea, blurred vision, salivary hypersecretion and complete organ failure, sometimes but not always resulting in death.

"Consult your doctor if symptoms persist. Do not take Abilify© if you want to live past age 35 or have ever had the sniffles or a bruise or a skin abrasion.

"Abilify©. Because it's slightly better than being depressed."