Red Carpet Treatment

Awesome Wolf!

Can you please get a shot of the limo when it pulls up?

-PeterDalis

Is that Nick Holt with his back to the camera? Is Brutus "tailing" the limo?

Is that Everson Griffin in front of Nick Holt? Where is the 55 jersey with his name on the back of it?

I'm sorry, but that's just cheesy!

Does the red carpet go all the way to Giant Felix Chevrolet?

What is up with that girl waiting for him there in the street? Hope that is not an NCAA violation.

I trust that was your way of being witty, Lawyer John. Otherwise, try watching a game (psssst, here's a hint, #58).

That's better than Rick Neuheisel. He met Te'o on a scooter and presented him with 25 California Scratchers Lottery Tickets. Nice gesture, but Slick Rick made Te'o give him back any winning tickets. After that, it was on to supper at Subway (Rick needed the winning Lotto tickets to pay for the meal).

Those UCLA folks really know how to live it up!

Did LJ just call Rey-Rey a girl?

That girl in the picture looks like a fatty. Couldn't SUC splurge for some 5-star talent for Manti's visit? She looks way too soft.

Bruinluv,

You know what else is cheesy? UCLA's win-loss record.

Oh wait that's not cheesy. I meant pathetic.

My apologies to Sir Rey-Rey. Upon first glance, I mistook the long hair and legs for those of a woman. Upon closer inspection of this low resolution cell phone photo, I can see how easy it is to get confused. Next time, maybe the Daily News can outfit Scott Wolf with a real camera to avoid such confusion. Apologies and Cheers.

LAWYER JOHN

At least on the Ruin board Dohn relates the recent coversations he had with Manti's dad. Sucks to go over there to have to get decent info on SC recruits.

That fat girl in the photo is 13-9's mother.

Bruin Amigos,

Do not despair, we are generous folk, so I assure you that Coach Pete Carroll will let you tread on our red carpet if you are not afraid to visit us in South Los Angeles. We show this courtesy to our guests because we can’t impress them with a tour of the neighboring movie star mansions, a la Rick Neuheisel.

Yes, those mansions have housed some outstanding Bruins; like the late great Samuel Gilbert, padrino of the UCLA basketball dynasty, and veritable master of the absentee job and the hundred-dollar handshake. Fortunately Coach John Wooden never heard of such atrocities, or he would have stopped them immediately!

No, we do not have luxury estates, cutesy boutiques, or fancy restaurants to recommend us; we just have our humble football program.

Some of you guys thought Rey was a girl? LMAO. "Lola" must be playing somewhere.

I bet 13-9 flinches a lot. Poor, scared Bruin.

All bruins could come up with "I've got nothing here's how to get to Vermont and Jefferson."

"I bet 13-9 flinches a lot."

awesome.

It ain't easy being cheeezy. Daaaaaaaammmmmm. Dat Red Carpet has gotz to be da gayest sheeznit I've eva seeeen yo.

Lord al mighty. i'm a bruin and i'm embarrassed for USC and Te'o. Wow guys. Can't you just get kids go come to SC because you guys have a good program?

I wouldn't be bragging about treating a kid like this.

WOrd.

Don't bruin your life kid

LAWYER JOHN:
I lost respect for you: punto. No lo respeto señor. For you Anglos it means I don't respect you, Sir. Keep hanging around with Mickey Mouse: Miguelito and the rest of a few Trojan rednecks. That's fine keep kissing their rears. It doesn't matter how much kissing you do you're still a Mexican to them and you can't never change that. Wake-up. Once more your Spanish stinks. Stick to your law books in English. You might know the LAW; I know Spanish and I am bilingual which you are NOT, Sir, congratulations. You rushed to judgment and made a payaso (clown) out of yourself calling Rey a girl. You're a genius...
¡Viva Don Juan el gran abogado!
It means for you Anglos Viva Sir John the great lawyer...

LOL.

I'm sure Laywer John cares if you don't respect him El Capihomo. Funny stuff though. L John will lose sleep over the fact that you have lost respect for him. What that tells me is you used to have respect for him. For the record, I gotz no respect for any of ya'll although I think L JOhn tells it how it is so at least I enjoy reading some of his sheeeeet.

Well, hasta Labida Loca betchezz

Art V

Capitan, muchas gracias por tus palabras. Tienes buen puntos.

Muchos no me respetan. Uno mas que no me respeta no es gran cosa. No hay por que preocuparse uno hombre. A mi me vale madre esas cosas. Asi es la vida.

Ahora a casa a preparar la cena despues de un largo dia de ganarme el pan de cada dia. Saludos!

DON JUAN, EL GRAN ABOGADO

Estimado Senor Art V/Bluesteel, Gracias! My sentiments exactly.

I'd hate to see what bluesteele would have to say about a coach so desperate for attention that he'd buzz the field at high school football games in a helicopter.

"Word."

LAWYER JOHN is one cool cat, even if he's a toejam. Post on!

Estimados compañeros Troyanos, los felicito por sus buenas intenciones y entusiasmo al promover la difusión de la lengua de Cervantes. Como Mexicano frijolero y descendiente de Cuauhtémoc tengo el privilegio y gusto de otorgarles el Titulo de Aztecas Honorarios. ¡Felicidades amigos!

I will translate for my Trojan amigos.
Esteemed Trojan colleagues, I congratulate you for your goodwill and enthusiasm in promoting the diffusion of the language of Cervantes. As a bean eating Mexian and a descendant of Cuauhtémoc, I have the privilege and pleasure to award you the Title of Honorary Aztecs. Congratulations friends!

Enjoy speaking Spanish to your the best of your ability and never give up. Speak it often and remember to visit Old Mexico frequently to enjoy the fine cuisine, some icy Coronas and Margaritas and the company of the lovely Señoritas, just don't touch! And remember, everyone speaks their best Spanish after two or three shots of Tequila Don Julio Añejo, especially if the Mariachis are playing. Even Señora Locoweed would approve of that!

Argh! I can't believe I'm going to say this... Since I'm already "in the zone" you Bruins are Honorary Aztecs too, just drink two extra shots of Don Julio, and for God's sake don't sing with the Mariachis.

You too compadre.

Captain Idiot:

I see that brokenfacemask.com blog was taken down after it was revealed to have been a whole lot of lies and absurd conspiracies. The author of that blog was threatened with numerous lawsuits for libel and he immediately removed everything from that blog and shut it down permanently. That is precisely why he had been banned from USC events. He's a fraud and a liar.

And who does he have to thank for his blog being shut down after two days when it had been online for several years? The idiot captain, of course. It was only because you linked to it dozens of times that people went there and discovered his lies. It was because of you he was threatened with libel lawsuits for his lies. If you had said nothing, his blog would still be up there for everyone to read, lies and all.

Congratulations, you are officially the most stupid person on earth who believes anything on the Internet.

Broken Facemask, R.I.P.

Ha! Ha! Ha! I laugh in the idiot captain's face!

The guy posting as LAWYER JOHN is not me. He ripped off my moniker, which is a back-handed compliment I suppose, except I don't want his ridiculousness attributed to me. Have I ever written such nonsense as this fool spews? To distinguish this fraud I will sign off from now on with my moniker initials LJ and OTT (I used to write on the UGLA blog as ONLYTHETRUTH but I got bored with all of the stupid UGLA posters).

LJ/OTT

Hey LJ -

Your imposter is using words like "programme," "internets," and "cheers." Hmm, Sherlock Holmes thinks he is British.

"Have I ever written such nonsense as this fool spews?"

Well, you did write about a certain Donkey in a Tijuana bar.... ;-)

LJ,

Not to worry, most of us are aware that you are the eponym of Fake LJ; there is no confusing who is who, since the writing styles are completely different. How Fake LJ managed to hack into TypeKey is a mystery and could be the stuff of legend.

We are also aware that Fake LJ is not a lawyer, definitely not a Trojan. Confusing Rey for a girl? Sacrilege! He may not even be a Bruin, as he delights in igniting the partisan passions of the little gutties. What he is is a highly amusing and crafty agent provocateur and fun seeker, surfing the Internet in search of worthy foes and hapless victims. You have been paid the greatest compliment amigo.

The original LJ can answer these two simple questions:
1. What did you promise the Locoweed clan is USC wins a National Championship?
2. Who is Locoweed's attorney?
Just register under a different moniker and give old Locoweed the answers.

Welcome to the World Wide Web!

Errata!
1. What did you promise the Locoweed clan if USC wins a National Championship?

My alter ego, ONLYTHETRUTH, seconds that.

I did not care that this fake LAWYER JOHN sullied my reputation on the UGLA blog, I don't give a hoot about bruins, but this blog is a different story. We have a bit of a fraternity atmosphere here, we're all SC comrades, and I do not wish to offend any Trojans.

And it is a bit creepy that someone would steal your moniker and pretend to be you.

If this guy keeps this up I think I will have my firm contact him. I don't believe monikers have the standing of a trademark, but tarnishing my reputation would make for an interesting Court case. Besides, I would like to meet this character face-to-face.

LJ/OTT

Locoweed:

You are right. I owe you. I also owe uscmike on the same promise.

Name the date, time and place.

Better yet, I will be at the SC-Cal game tonight, Section 216, Row 3 Seat 1. Pizzas are on me if you are there!

And, yes, uscmike, the "Donkey" story came out of my mouth, but it was not nonsense, it was a true story. And it seemed to have taken on a life of its own on the blog for a while.

LJ/OTT

I sincerely miss the Donkey.

Maybe DonKey is the fake LJ?

Someone obviously does not know about Trademark law which are for marks used to identify goods or services for sale. It would never apply to a "moniker". Plus, the name LAWYER JOHN is generic and could never be "trademarked".

How could an anonymous "moniker" have a "reputation"? Thanks for making me laugh today.

Whilst it was an honest mistake, I did mistake Sir Ray Ray for a woman in the photograph. I have apologised to the esteemed board members for my confusion. Cheers!

DON JUAN, EL GRAN ABOGADO

The Donkey is alive and well my friends. The Donkey has been enjoying tag teaming bruins on Inside ucla with Brian Dohn with LAWYER JOHN for sometime. The Donkey believes that it is extremely insightful there and welcomes all Trojan fans to come on over. If you register that is.

Real LJ - I just wanted to bring up the Donkey story. I know you meant it when you first enlightened us, and it overtook this blog. I think you missed out on a merchandising opportunity! Thanks for the invite, although did USC win a NC during the spring of 2008?

Fake LJ - You should change your moniker, instead of swiping someone else's. Forget law, how about morals?

Locoweed and Señorita Locosprout reporting. We just returned from witnessing the glorious victory of our Trojan Basketball Warriors over the overrated Commie Bears of Berkeley.

During our visit to the commodious Galen Center, we had the high honor of meeting that most distinguished and erudite gentleman, Lawyer John. Old Locoweed can assure everyone out there in blogland that I have met the one-and-only, genuine article. Sleep well fellow Trojans, all is right with the world tonight.

I would also like to say in a few short words, Amigo Fake LJ, you have been exposed; and while no one can prevent you from using LJ's moniker, the jig is up. This is a matter of HONOR amigo. We all enjoy your wit and wisdom, but you should listen to uscmike and relent. After all, you are DON JUAN EL GRAN ABOGADO, no? Espero verte de nuevo en éstas páginas my pronto. Cheers!