Phone Fever
This is the first time offensive coordinator Jeremy Bates has owned a cell phone. He needs one at USC for recruiting purposes, of course.
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About Inside USC
Scott Wolf has covered USC for the Daily News since 1996. A USC
graduate, he covered his first Trojan game in 1984 for
the Daily Trojan. Scott is known as the "scourge of the Internet
message boards," according to radio host Petros Papadakis. Despite this
moniker, there's no truth to the rumor he takes pleasure in
antagonizing the "Internet geeks."
About this Entry
This page contains a single entry by Scott Wolf published on March 27, 2009 10:21 AM.
Advantage For Barkley was the previous entry in this blog.
Bates On Cutler is the next entry in this blog.
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Recent Comments
DFWTrojan on Phone Fever: These comments are funny. They should be Twatted. ...
Kojak on Phone Fever: I'm glad you're back, Scott. Really glad. ...
BoscoH on Phone Fever: Says LAWYER JOHN with his legal pad in hand... Just kidding! Good poin ...
Trojan_SF on Phone Fever: I sometimes mistake El Capitan's posts for excerpts from John Steinbec ...
LAWYER JOHN on Phone Fever: In Bates' defense, does anybody recall the 'art of conversation?" Is ...
Sam Gilbert on Phone Fever: Coach Bates - Indoor plumbing is not the "devil's work." ...
BoscoH on Phone Fever: P.S. malachi crunch reminds me of the C student who presented a petiti ...
BoscoH on Phone Fever: I hope someone tells him not to put metal in the office microwave. Or ...
malachi crunch3 on Phone Fever: I got he fever too. And the only cure is more Jill and Ramona! Bring ...
jamfan on Phone Fever: huh? its 2009? not 1999. Even my 87 year old grandpa owns a cell phone ...
Kojak on Phone Fever: I'm glad you're back, Scott. Really glad. ...
BoscoH on Phone Fever: Says LAWYER JOHN with his legal pad in hand... Just kidding! Good poin ...
Trojan_SF on Phone Fever: I sometimes mistake El Capitan's posts for excerpts from John Steinbec ...
LAWYER JOHN on Phone Fever: In Bates' defense, does anybody recall the 'art of conversation?" Is ...
Sam Gilbert on Phone Fever: Coach Bates - Indoor plumbing is not the "devil's work." ...
BoscoH on Phone Fever: P.S. malachi crunch reminds me of the C student who presented a petiti ...
BoscoH on Phone Fever: I hope someone tells him not to put metal in the office microwave. Or ...
malachi crunch3 on Phone Fever: I got he fever too. And the only cure is more Jill and Ramona! Bring ...
jamfan on Phone Fever: huh? its 2009? not 1999. Even my 87 year old grandpa owns a cell phone ...
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huh? its 2009? not 1999.
Even my 87 year old grandpa owns a cell phone.
Has he heard of the interwebs yet?
I got he fever too. And the only cure is more Jill and Ramona! Bring them back! Bring them back!
Do not ignore our posts! We the readers want them back!
Bring them back!
I hope someone tells him not to put metal in the office microwave. Or cook the popcorn too long. Jeremy also needs to trade in the Atari 2600 for a Wii. I've taught my 80+ year old grandparent to use email, so he can learn that. Oh, on a fuel injected car, don't pump the accelerator before or as you start it. Make sure you use a seat belt in any car equipped with an air bag. And don't drive at 10 and 2 unless you want 2 broken forearms and a flattened beak. 8 and 4 is where it's at now. Should I mention that smoking causes cancer? But an __occasional__ cigar is OK. Wine coolers are not cool. Mike's Hard Lemonade is.
Fashion hints... Longer, baggier shorts. Go with boxer briefs if you need the security of briefs without the stigma of looking like one of the Ting twins. Ditch the headband. Keep the lettuce tight. Curls are not cool, especially if they're not your own. Goatees are too conventional. Staches are for porn stars.
Language... Don't use the word "niggardly". Nobody knows what it means anymore. End your phone calls to recruits with "Lates". Don't call information, use 800.GOOG.411, cuz it's free.
Anyone else have tips for Jeremy?
P.S. malachi crunch reminds me of the C student who presented a petition to the professor asking for easier tests, because he and 80% of the class couldn't compete with the 20% who read the assigned reading and attended class. "We the readers"... what an ass-hat.
Coach Bates - Indoor plumbing is not the "devil's work."
In Bates' defense, does anybody recall the 'art of conversation?" Is there anything more rude than one using a cell phone in a restaurant, forcing all around to listen to a loud, inane talk?
Does anybody read anymore or is it read by e-mail only? Anybody read the classics or great poets: Emily Dickinson, Robert Frost, Samuel Clemens, William Faulkner et al.
The "modern world" is not so great. Give me 19th century Americana any day of the week.
I sometimes mistake El Capitan's posts for excerpts from John Steinbeck's Cannery Row.
Says LAWYER JOHN with his legal pad in hand... Just kidding! Good points all.
One more tip for Bates... When a recruit texts him that he's watching the final episodes of Battlestar Galactica and that Starbuck is "teh hot", said recruit did not spell "the" wrong and is not talking about Dirk Benedict.
I'm glad you're back, Scott. Really glad.
These comments are funny. They should be Twatted.