Proper Attitude

You want to hear about attitude?

So after what felt like about five hours of watching UCLA lose to Stanford on Saturday, I start flipping the channels early in the third quarter. Flip over to the USC game. Not much going on there either -- and then the camera zooms in on my arch-rival, the Rev. Ebeneezer Abernackle of Sweet Christ on Crenshaw, surrounded by college girls and living it up in the Coliseum!

Then yesterday, Abernackle has the nerve to come up to my table at Harold & Belle's after services, and he waves a fistful of USC tickets in my face. "I got a seat for you, Reverend, any time you want it," he tells me, grinning like the crook that he is.

"Git!" I told him. "I am off that bandwagon, and I mean to stay off!"

"I'll keep your seat warm, Reverend," he says. "You'll come callin' soon enough, when your Bruins start their season oh-and-fo'."

Can you believe that $#!t? "Oh-and-fo" he says! The sheer ball-dacity!

I'm trying to walk straight, praise Jesus, but it ain't easy! Coach Rick, get us some wins!

Would a sloppy victory in your second game be considered Sloppy Seconds?