Baxter Blames Himself

At least Dillon is consistent - he lies as well as he practices. Hey Dillon, did you get MY call?

This just in...

www.usctrojans.com/mediareleases/fb/false-baxter-quote.html

"Freshman running back Dillon Baxter refutes quotes regarding this lack of effort this season - claiming quotes came from a fraudulent source after his cell phone was stolen. USC Athletic Director, Pat Haden, has now contacted various media outlets including, but not limited to ESPN, Fox Sports, LA Times and the Daily News demanding the retraction of this falsified statement. Haden further stated that any quotes from Dillon Baxter will now have to be verified by the USC Sports Information and Compliance Departments."

Boy the hits just keep coming for good ole Southern Cal!

FROM THE DESK OF RALPH VON ALBERTSON, ESQ.:

Good afternoon, Trojans. Have any fun weekend plans? I thought I might perform a public service by suggesting various fun activities which you might enjoy, especially in the late afternoon and early evening on Saturday.

Who wants to spend time indoors while the weather is still so nice? You could go for a hike at one of Southern California's many parks. It's too soon for skiing, but there's always the beach. Or you could spend the whole weekend on Catalina!

Southern California has many fine museums -- of art, Tolerance, etc.). The Long Beach aquarium has all manner of sea creatures, otters, and (so I'm told) a captured merman. Or you could drive down to San Diego to check out the zoo.

We are truly blessed here in Los Angeles to have perhaps the most diverse array of ethnic restaurants in the United States. If you like dim sum, you could drive out to the San Gabriel Valley to see what America will look like after the Chinese take over.

If you simply must spend your early Saturday evening inside, watching TV like a shut-in, I see that LSU will be taking on Florida, while Auburn faces off against Kentucky (imagine those stadiums packed with tens of thousands of Southerners, all of whom believe that evolution is "just a theory"!).

Well, I hope these suggestions help you plan your weekend. If you don't enjoy your Saturday, don't blame me!

Best regards,

Ralph Von Albertson, Esq.

(dictated but not read)

RVA/vm

This just in... Ralph Von Douche Juice punches himself in the mouth after a disappoint effort by Standford in a serious let down game against the Trojans. Looks like Harbaugh couldn't figure out what his deal really was...

Ralph Van Something, STFU you're as gay as gay can be...I saw you last Sunday holding hands with a Cal Bear at Disneyland at the "Gay Days" festival.

Dillon Baxter has been "going through the motions" because he knows he can't make an immediate impact on this year's team. He's too immature to learn enough about the playbook, and has Allen Bradford and Marc Tyler to compete with.
I'm sure his effort will skyrocket next season when it's just him and Tyler with high expectations after AB move on to the NFL.
Other than 1 or 2 plays, he'll probably be no more effective than Joe McKnight was his freshman year. Actually, probably less.

And Ralph Von Fag, really? God you sound like such a loser.