STOP TIME! IN THE NAME OF LOVE!

Caught the Diana Ross show at San Manuel. Let me tell you, she has got it goin’ on.
She doesn’t look like she’s in her 60s. In fact, she looks like she’s in the 1960s. The woman hasn’t aged in 40 years.
I was in the 30th row or so, but still …
She looked great.
Maybe it was the attire. She made four costume changes, and each clingy evening gown was more flattering than the last.
Maybe it was the Dreamgirls hairstyle.
Maybe it was her energy, her take-charge style, her commanding presence. When she wasn’t singing, she was chatting up the fans, and when she wasn’t chatting up the fans, she was chatting up the band or scolding photographers or bossing around the lighting technicians.
Maybe it was her voice, which sang all those great old songs as if they were great new songs.
What’s her secret? Does she have a portrait of herself, in her attic, that is aging horribly? Does she drink the elixir of life from a secret fountain known only to herself? Does she have unlimited visiting rights in Michael Jackson’s bariatric chamber?
Ha! Michael Jackson WISHES he could look this good.
I made two amazing discoveries about Diana Ross the other night. The first, of course, is that she has discovered the secret of eternal life.
The second is that even though she once scored 14 consecutive No. 1 hit songs with the Supremes, then four more as a solo artist, and even though she has won seven American Music Awards, and a Golden Globe, and a Tony Award, and an Academy Award nomination, and has been declared by the Guinness Book of World Records to be the most successful female singer of all time, Diana Ross has never won a Grammy Award, pop music’s highest award.
Of course, neither did the Beatles. Or Elvis Presley (except in a gospel category).
Oh, well, at least Milli Vanilli, A Taste of Honey and Christopher Cross didn’t get overlooked …