Camies: Where Everyone’s a Winner, Except of Course the Losers

In the thicket of trophies ceremonies comes something named the Camie Awards, which the press release proclaims are beautiful solid bronze statues awarded for entertaining and uplifting motion pictures that provide positive role models for building character, overcoming adversity, correcting unwise choices, strengthening families, living moral lives, and solving lifes problems with integrity and perserverance. The name is an acronym for Character And Morality In Entertainment and the trophy is of a demurely clad young woman (no nudity, as with Oscar) who appears to be on a stroll in search of an honest man, perhaps. Nominees for most uplifting movies are “March of the Penguins,” “National Treasure,” “Dreamer,” “Because of Winn-Dixie,” “The Greatest Game Ever Played,” “Pride and Prejudice,” “I am David,” and “The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe.” TV films nominated are “Loves Long Journey,” “Pope John Paul II” (CBS), “Back to You and Me,” “Fielders Choice,” “The Reading Room,” “Have No Fear: The Life of Pope John Paul II” (ABC), “The Colt,” “The Magic of Ordinary Days” (Hallmark Hall of Fame), and “Silver Bells” (Hallmark Hall of Fame). The awards website explains Motion pictures considered for CAMIES are presented with sensitivity and without gratuitous violence, sex scenes (even if brief or simulated), or implications that non-married sex is acceptable,? which almost explains why The 40-Year-Old Virgin? didnt get a nomination. So basically, if you want to win a trophy, just cook up a movie with no sex scene. Good luck getting it made, however.

OK, National Treasure? was a 2004 film and a stupid action flick, as I recall. But I cant comment otherwise on the theatrical releases, because I havent seen any of them. I can tell you, however, that CBSs Pope movie is probably the best of a lukewarm lot in the telefilm category (“The Colt” a distant if solid second in this horserace). Here are some of the raves I located for the other nominees:

Fielders Choice:? Predictable,? imdb.com.

“The Reading Room:” “Familiar-looking (and feeling),” Hollywood Reporter.

The Magic of Ordinary Days: Not flashy in any way,? BeyondHollywood.com.

Back to You and Me:? Mildly entertaining distraction unremarkable in just about every way,? Variety.

Silver Bells:? Unusually bland dish,? Variety.

You get the idea.

Perhaps this is the inevitable result of the very notion of honoring only movies whose raison detre is to instruct us on how we should live. But someones mission somewhere is clear: An awards ceremony honoring only nihilist films The Camus, perhaps?

The Camies will be distributed Saturday, 1/7, at the TV Academy in North Hollywood. Tickets at camie.org/.

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