American Idol was just named Favorite Reality Show Competition. When she announced the winner, presenter Nicolette Sheridan let out a yelp-y little enthusiastic yowl that, to be honest, was belied by the bemused expression on her face.

Now the “star of ‘Paparazzi'” — whoever that is, whatever that was (a movie that lasted 5 minutes in theaters? two years ago?) — is presenting Favorite Male Action Star to Matthew McConaughey, who called “Sahara” “the first major motion feature” his production company produced. And that was pretty much the most coherent thing he said.

I’ve just started watching this thing, and it already seems suspiciously like one of those the-winner-is-the-person-who-shows-up deals.

The producers have filled the audience with a group of people who scream like giddy assault victims at every. Damn. Thing. Honestly, Mr. McConaughey is a nice guy, but there’s no rational explanation on this planet for the shrill shrieking that greeted his appearance. Imagine young girls seeing Tom Cruise, Brad Pitt and Heath Ledger simultaneously — that’s how Matt was received. Sometimes, TV people must think we’re idiots.

More to come. If you can stand the excitement.