Awards overload

So now they’re going to have an Emmy for material you can watch on your phone. Which means some bit of flash animation a kid cooks up in his bedroom could share televsion’s most prestigious award alongside David Chase or Steven Bochco. This democracy-in-action is all very nice, but what’s next? A Grammy for Outstanding Ring Tone? A Writers Guild award for best idea cooked up in someone’s head but never subsequently pursued?


How about the Phone Awards? Category: Best Use of Phone. The nominees are: Calling up a busy spouse when you’re stuck in traffic and bored; Alerting the authorities about a serious accident; with your friends in the mall; Watching stupid little ads for stupid little products; Alerting Triple A about a serious accident. Triple A and the authorities cancel each other out, as do the actual phone calls, so, ladies and gentlemen, 2006’s Best Use of Phone: Watching Stupid Little Ads.

Don’t the Emmys have enough categories as it is? Is it possible that some form of human endeavor be conducted without the spectre of awards looming over it?

BTW, they give out awards for blogs. I’m sure THIS is the entry — insightful, pithy, blinkered and reactionary! — that’ll win me my lightly laminated certificate.

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