… or to pick up the awards-season hardware that leads to more $. We’re told that some studios were inspired by the success of “Crash” last year to follow its lead and send out DVD screeners of “Little Miss Sunshine,” “The Departed” and “Venus” to all 110,000 members of the Screen Actors Guild to encourage their support on the ballot. If one of these three wins the ensemble or lead prizes tonight, it might just be worth the $500,000 investment for DVDs and shipping. We’ll leave it to the accountants and lawyers to decide whether such a move is worth the high risk of piracy.

Oooh, a goodie bag! For us? How exciting!
I opened this little zippered purse (with a silver lining, the better to keep your Lean Cuisine cold at your desk until lunchtime), and found two candy bars and a rather hefty bottle of Listerine rinse. Next to the coffee urns, more Listerine pocket packs than anybody could ever need. Are they a major sponsor? Or is this just because it’s flu season?

Greg Hernandez on the Red Carpet: “Ugly Betty” star America Ferrera – who’s is looking more like “Gorgeous Betty” in an Emerald-green gown…fans in the bleachers go nuts

I’ve just decided I would never want the job of the guy who announces the celebrities as they (clear security and) step out on the red carpet. The poor schnook must have fumbled his cheat sheet because he called “Numb3rs” star David Krumholtz “Josh Krumholtz.” Anybody’s capable of screwing up a name, but this guy just did it in a very loud, drawn-out, “tah dah!’ voice. If he made a correction, it was very quiet.

T.R. Knight of “Grey’s Anatomy” just arrived outside, and he was greeted by a roar that one hopes did not include any slurs about his sexual orientation. Still waiting to hear whether co-star Isaiah Washington was allowed one night’s liberty from his in-patient treatment for — what? — a mouth that works much faster than his brain?

… because you need to be damn near starving to really enjoy the food they serve backstage at most awards shows. Yeah, I know we shouldn’t complain too much because it is free. On the other hand, we’re pretty much captive inside the Shrine Auditorium for hours on end, so feeding us keeps us civilized. Can anyone explain,though, why a catering company that heaps so many sandwiches in a basket that they end up about a quarter inch thick bothers to place business cards on the buffet? Oh yeah, that’s just what I want to treat my guests to at my next catered affair.

Women of a certain age (whatever that is) say there’s a shortage of good roles for their age group, but check out the vintage of many of the ladies up for Screen Actors Guild Awards: Shirley Jones, Cloris Leachman, Helen Mirren (of course) and Meryl Streep all are on the downhill side of 50 and still making fine contributions to their craft.
And Meryl is in such demand that she’s a no show, even though her Oscar nomination last week for “The Devil Wears Prada” increases her odds of winning here. But she has a good excuse. Seems she accepted an invitation about a year ago to cohost tonight’s 10th annual benefit for Harvard Medical School’s Center for Health and the Global Environment. She’s sharing the stage with former Vice President Al Gore, with whom she’ll hand the Global Citizen Award to Prince Charles. Said she would have enjoyed celebrating with her fellow SAG members but she felt she should not renege on the other commitment. Let’s see… British royalty or Hollywood royalty?

Another shocker (imagine the word “shocker” in a really sarcastic typeface): Philip Seymour Hoffman is named Best Actor for “Capote.” Oscar nominations won’t even be announced until Tuesday, and already they’re old news.
“The only way to act well, is to know that other actors have your back,” says Hoffman, as good a way of acknowledging one’s (presumably trophy-less) co-stars with disingenuous humility as I’ve heard in a while.
The evening’s final presenter, Morgan Freeman, is kind of over-selling the importance of all this, but that’s just the kind of voice he has.
“Crash’s” cast wins the Ensemble “Actor,” SAG’s equivalent of the Best Film Oscar. Well, the film certainly had the most cast members of the nominees. Terrence Howard turns the thank-you over to Don Cheedle leaning on a cane, who, referring to his limp, warns America, “Pay your gambling debts. You don’t want this happening here.”
Holy cow! An awards show without a trophy for “Brokeback Mountain?” I demand a recount!
Here’s guessing “Crash” beat “Brokeback” mainly because the former has a much bigger cast than the latter, and SAG is trying, as I earlier recommended, to give everyone in SAG a SAG Award, so this was just more efficient. But “Crash” emerges as the only remotely significant competition to “Brokeback” once the Oscars are announced. Nonetheless, still no reason to watch the Oscars at this point.

Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal were laughing as they came onstage to introduce their film “Brokeback Mountain” and laughed all they way through as they read the description. I’m not going to theorize what happened backstage that gave them their cases of the giggles.
Yet again: Reese Witherspoon is named Best Actress for “Walk the Line.” Honestly, is there any point in watching the Oscars at this point? “I can’t shake the feeling that I’m just a little girl from Tennessee,” she says, less convincingly than she was in “Walk the Line.” Not a bad tribute to June Carter Cash, though, talking about how she labored, undeservingly, in Johnny’s shadow. But then, thanking her co-star Joaquin Phoenix, she said, “Without your John, there’s no June.” Wait — but you just said …

Not much drama in these categories, since the winners have been honored for these roles since last September.
S. Epatha Merkerson won her third Best Actress in a TV Movie/Miniseries trophy (following the Emmy and the Golden Globe) for Lackawanna Blues.? I have to say a public thank-you to my divorce lawyer,? she declared, laughing so maniacally that, without knowing anything about him, you kind of felt sorry for her ex.
Paul Newman another trophy, another no-show. He won Best Actor in a TV Movie/Miniseries for Empire Falls? (following, like Merkerson, Emmy/Globe wins, though his Emmy triumph was in the Supporting Actor category). He clearly knew what he was doing when he bought the rights to Richard Russos book.