‘Hal Linker’ reminisces, part 10 (and last)

As the crazy man in the sandwich-board sign could tell you, The End is Near. Today ends the serialization of the mammoth e-mail from reader “Hal Linker.” Well, except for a single-topic piece that’s worth its own entry, sometime next week.

Based on the number of comments, a lot of you have enjoyed this string of recollections of the valley in the 1960s and 1970s. This last section might be my favorite, as “Hal” talks about the early years of Montclair Plaza:

I remember when the Montclair Plaza opened in the single-level format. My mom and older sisters would go shopping for dresses and stuff and I went along, being as I was still (barely) not old enough to drive. I would ditch the women and drool over records and stereos.

We used to park on the Broadway side of the mall. I can still remember the smell of leather and patchouli and the stereos with light boxes playing Smith’s “Baby It’s You,” or Crosby Stills & Nash’s “Suite Judy Blue Eyes” blasting out of the record department in JC Penney’s, or Jethro Tull’s “New Day Yesterday” resonating in the May Company record department.

Thunderclap Newman was making a joyful noise at Pedrini The Music Merchant amidst all the pianos and organs. It was Creedence, Three Dog Night, Steppenwolf, Abbey Road, CSN&Y, Ten Years After, Jimi Hendrix, Sly & The Family Stone, Jefferson Airplane time, baby. Almost everything being released on record was great (at least from my perspective).

That’s what was happening when the Plaza opened. It was the advent of the black lite poster, the strobe light era. The counterculture becoming the over-the-counter culture and hitting the mainstream. But the tunes held up pretty well. Sadly, everyone forgot about the Pomona Mall and Pomona hit some bad times.

Yes, the Hollander and the Jolly Roger were the places to eat in the mall. Jolly Roger, dimly lit with great burgers, served me booze when I was 15. Yes! (Nobody cared then. It was in many ways a much cooler time, with much less government control and brainwashing.) I don’t remember the Slob’s Big Boy someone mentioned being in the Plaza. Must be a memory block, maybe it came later or maybe that person is wrong.

Orange Julius was near See’s Candies past JC Penney and served dogs. Across Moreno was Van De Kamp’s which much later became Tiny Naylor’s for a bit. Eventually, the Hollander moved outside of the mall into a space previously occupied by Dugan’s Music. That was the death of the Hollander — bad move, but they might not have had any choice.

Speaking of Dugan’s, next to it, with an adjoining door, was Discount Record Center. This was a rather small long narrow store but its selection was amazing. I loved to browse there and was awed with their full catalogs on most of my favorite artists. They even had all of Zappa and the Mothers’ stuff which, even then, was an extensive catalog.

I actually worked there for about two months before realizing it was a dead-end career. I dug the tunes but seemed I was demonstrating bongs to more people than selling records. Those girls from the adjacent Marinello’s Beauty School kept coming in there and buying bongs so I followed one of cutest of them to Venice where she opened up a salon and we lived happily, but not ever after.

Was this succinct enough for you? They don’t call me enormo-mail for nothing. But, dammit, this blog deserves it!

Very kind of you, “Hal.” Everybody give him a hand for a job of memory-plumbing well done.

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  • Scott in R.C.

    Great piece!

    I would love the hear “Hal’s” real name, since I grew up in Chino back when it was a small town and it seemed like everybody knew each other. This guy sounds like a legend!

    The Bob’s Big Boy in the Montclair Plaza was in fact there. It was in the front of the plaza on the left as you walked in from the north main entrance toward JC Penney. It was a small restaurant but those burgers were memorable!

    Completely forgot about the Jolly Roger!!

    Thanks for dusting off some memories.

  • Jaime

    Just a note. Crosby Stills & Nash, Jethro Tull and Creedence have had concerts in Pomona during the Los Angeles County Fair.

  • April Patterson

    Yes, there was a Bob’s Big Boy in the Montclair plaza. I remember it well. It was on the corner by where the elevator is now, in the center court.

    I seem to remember my dad calling it Bob’s Little Boy, so I don’t remember if that was official or it was just his way of distinguishing it from the free standing restaurants.

  • Ms. Lois

    It was actually Bobs Jr. They didn’t have the whole menu.

  • Tad Decker

    I have enjoyed reading “Hal’s” reflections on times gone by.

    Just a quick comment on the Bob’s Big Boy topic — both Scott and April are correct about the location of the restaurant.

    Its first location was at the northeast corner of the center court, across from the JC Penney entrance — and as Hal stated, it came later in the history of the plaza, having replaced the restaurant located at that site when the plaza first opened. It was indeed a small version of the stand-alone restaurants, and thus had the name “Bob’s Big Boy Jr.”

    The second location, which I believe is the one that Scott remembers, was at the left of the main entrance; this was where it was after the 1980s remodel.

    Also…I had almost forgotten about those old-time organ stores that every mall used to sport. Remember hearing the background rhythym booming through the mall, with a guy in a plaid polyester suit and a bad comb-over plunking out the melody line?(Hmmm, maybe some memories are best left in the past!)

    [Thanks for reconciling the conflicting Bob's-at-the-Plaza stories, Tad. -- DA]

  • “Hal Linker”

    Hooray for Tad Decker!! I was having moments of self-doubt about my nearly photographic memory.

    Wasn’t there a Raj of India store opposite the entrance to JC Penney’s too? Remember that place? They had all those brass or copper water pipes with multiple hoses coming off them. They were only used as decorative items by most of the folks who shopped there, mind you.

    Now if I could just solve the mystery of what Walter Mitty’s Rock ‘N’ Roll Emporium was called before it adopted that name at 1626 West Mission. I remember the place had big fish nets hanging from its exterior frontage walls. Why do I think it was the Broadside?

    Are these the brain cells that got re-arranged when I played with laughing sam’s dice?????

  • Jim L

    I vividly remember Walter Mitty’s on Mission Blvd in the late ’70s. It was near/next to the Berliner Kindl (sp?) German Restaurant, Market (Lucky Strike Market?), Westmont Hardware, a union hall for General Dynamics defense workers and there was a local porn shop. Or maybe the Berliner Kindl replaced Walter Mitty’s. I forget.

    Anyway, t think the only original business that remains now is Westmont Hardware. The porn shop is now a taqueria. The union Hall is a Mexican Restaurant & bar I believe.
    Interestingly, the defense workers union hall was previously the site of the Pomona Library, or perhaps a local branch of it anyway, before the main library was built at the Civic Center.

    I’ll be darned though if I can remember the former names of Walter Mitty’s. The “Broadside” just doesn’t sound familiar at all to me.

    [I wrote about Westmont in my "Pomona A to Z" series, which will be up to W sometime this summer. The hardware store was a hoot. Oh, and the Westmont library was a branch. That was a happening area in the 1960s with the defense plant, its thousands of employees and the Cliff May housing tract. -- DA]

  • fallcolors357@yahoo.com

    There was also a Farrell’s (sp)? Ice Cream parlour there too. I remember eating or trying to eat, anyway, a pig’s trough.

  • Sandy

    Yes, yes I lived in that area in the ’70s. My mom and dad worked for General Dynamics then. That was the Lucky STAR Market there. My mother sent me there often with a note to the cashier that said “please sell my daughter 1 pack of Pall Mall Reds” and then signed her name to it. They sold me the cigarettes, I was probably 13 or so. I think Walter Mittys came before Berlinder Kindl…that was a hangout for the General Dynamics crowd after work. My Pops was there often.

  • Jim L

    Okay,
    RE: Walter Mitty’s

    Today I needed to buy some hardware but instead of heading to Home Depot as usual, I decided to try Westmont Hardware on Mission. To be honest, I was somewhat surprised that they were still in business. The sign in the window read “we’re open” but I half-expected it might be one of those businesses that closed but forget to take down the sign.

    While I was completing my purchase I had a brief chat with the longtime owners of 41 years. They were nice enough to shed some light on the former Walter Mitty’s and the surrounding busineses. They informed me that prior to being Walter Mitty’s it was called The Hut. Of course! A nautical or Polynesian theme would certainly explain “Hal’s” recollection of nets and fish.

    After the Hut, it became Walter Mitty’s. After Walter Mitty’s it then was a struggling pizza business that ultimately failed.

    That’s all I have to say about that.

    [Thanks for the legwork, Jim! -- DA]

  • Jim L

    Oops! Sandy is right! I left out Berlinder Kindl which was the business after Walter Mitty’s but before the pizza joint.

  • “Hal Linker”

    Great work JimL!! The Hut? Man that sure ain’t ringing any bells for me. But I don’t doubt it. I don’t know that it necessarily sounds like a fish net kind of place though.

    Oh, by the way JimL, did you happen to notice that one of the buildings in the center of the complex has been leveled?

    I just got back from Culver City where I went to a disappointing gig.

  • http://mrontemp.blogspot.com/ Ontario Emperor

    Did we just have a discussion of the Montclair Plaza without the words “clock tower”?

    [Was there a clock tower? This is all before my time (so to speak). -- DA]

  • ray

    Hal, do you remember the “MOONSHINE COMPANY” & PAPA BILL’S ?? Narod’s had 2 locations CASA DE NAROD’S on Central & Narod’s on Holt,west of Central.

    Hey Dave, McConahay’s was popular during the Disco craze. (West Covina & Upland) I think it was at Moonshine location (Foothill between Central/Benson southside)

    Central Ave memories: Gallups Bike Shop (TINT MASTERS) is there now. Hostess Bakery Store, Allen’s Shoes, RICHFIELD Gas Station @ Mission.

    [There's an Allen's Boots on Central. Someday I want to have my photo taken in front of the sign while holding a pair of boots. -- DA]

  • Joe

    One of my earliest memories of Pomona was going downtown with my mom to the Orange Belt Emporium. I doubt if I would even remember it except that they had this message system that consisted of wires running overhead with little pieces of paper zipping back and forth. As the messages would fly across the room it would sound like the reel on a fishing pole spinning as it was casting.

    As a 6 or 7 year old kid it was fascinating to see those pieces of paper clipped to the wire flying across the room. Almost like something out of a science-fiction movie. Does anyone else remembe that?

    [I've heard of that and believe it's been mentioned here a time or two. -- DA]

  • “Hal and Hadla Linker”

    Were having our nightcap, White Zin for Hadla, and a extra large splash of Crown Royal rocks for me, and directing our thoughts toward Euclid Avenue restaurants of yore.

    A coffee shop I remember well was Walters (no relation the current Walters in Claremont). It was located near Euclid and F. The food was typical coffee shop fare, nothing outstanding as I recall. My sister and I used to go there when we had orthodontist appointments. It was kind of greasy. After Walters went out of biz, it became El Mexicano II. It may still be one, I dont know.

    Our orthodontist was a guy named Dr. Carl Kimbrough. He was always flirting in a major way with his female assistants and I mean BIG TIME. Sometimes Id hear some strange noises and giggling from other rooms across the hall. Lord knows what was going on in there. He hired women based on looks, from all appearances. He had a foreign blonde assistant with gorgeous breasts. When she would work on me she would shove them right into the side of my face. I liked it, but it made me a bit nervous, being in Junior High and all.

    His office was off of Euclid on F Street, so my sister and I would usually eat at Walters after the visits (This was before Bobs Big Boy opened a location on the corner of F and Euclid which became a Carrows and is now El Pescador). Other times wed hit the Tastee Freez on Euclid near Francis which is now Loco Pizza or something like that.

    Another Euclid restaurant of the 1960s which was a more upscale coffee shop was Squires. It was located at the NW corner of Euclid and H Street. I only went there a few times during its existence but I remember having a very favorable impression of the place. Its now the Iron Skillet, which I hear is good. However, my only experience dining there was having a breakfast there about 12 years ago. Tasted like a Dirty Skillet to me. But, who knows, maybe I caught them on a bad day.

    Someone already mentioned the Leaning Tower Of Pizza with its miniature version of such out front. Its now, yet another, Juan Pollo and the tower is gone. I never ever ate at the Leaning Tower. How was the food? Anybody know? They were there near the SE corner of Euclid and Sunkist for 40 years or more.

    Last I looked, the Yangtze is still there in Downtown. As everything around it seems to be getting torn down. * We could never figure out why people would even bother to go there. I know less about Chinese food than Hadla does, but I do know what I like and dont like. Yangtze does nothing for either of us. We used to dig a place out on PCH called Kams (which is long gone). It was somewhere between Newport and Laguna as I recall. We really loved that place!! The Mandarin Duck was unbelievable!!!

    Jims Burgers is still there on Mission. I wont go there, not even to use the rest rooms. I went there once after it burned down and the new facility was built ages ago. I needed to make a bathroom stop. The door was unlocked so I opened it only to find one junkie shooting another junkie up at the sink. I said excuse me and split.

    In the early 1970s there was a great steak house way down on South Euclid, just south of Edison Avenue called the Stockmens Inn. This was out in the dairy farm area. GREAT FOOD!! Ultimately Euclid had to be widened and I think that was their demise. It revived for a short while in the Chino Town Square near Philadelphia and Central but couldnt survive the outrageous rents. People at the shopping center didnt seem to want to eat at a pricey dinner house. I believe the building now houses a Marie Callenders.

    *Even the longest lived head shop around, Express West, has been demolished. Did you know that one of their hottest items was fake urine with a heating element that helps people pass drug tests? Kids these days!

  • richard e nunez

    oh yea almost forgot another great place to hang out back when we Hung out at the lot there was also place we called the big T on the corner of garey and foothill.there use to be a big red T on the store thats why we called it the big T

  • rpfromrc

    In the late ’70s, the Berliner Kindl was called the Oasis, a bar that also served food. It was renamed Berliner Kindl when the German couple that owned it decided to put more emphasis on being a German restaurant that also served beer. I remember they had several sandwiches named after cities that were not Hamburg or Frankfurt; Regensburg was one of the cities.

  • Jim L

    Hal, I did indeed notice that some of the Westmont buildings were leveled, creating gaps not unlike the grin of a seven year old child.

    I’m told that those those were closed businesses that were broken into and overtaken by day laborors from the nearby home center. The city eventually declared the buildings a public nuisances (Bad building!) and purchased the naughty properties and leveled them.

  • Jim L

    Hmmm, rpfromrc.

    The Oasis also rings a bell. Now I’m confused. I remember a place on Holt near Euclid in Ontario that I vagely remember being called the The Hut. Maybe I’m getting them confused. Very possible that my memory may be hosed altogether.

    The folks at Westmont Hardware remembered the neighboring business as The Hut, though.

    Were there TWO bars in that strip mall?? Seems there was one next to Lucky Star Market but maybe there was another at the other end of the strip mall?

    [The Ontario place you're thinking of was the Bambu Hut. Note spelling of Bamboo. It had a neon palm tree sign out front and was located around Holt and Sultana. It closed down maybe five years ago and the building was leveled. -- DA]

  • “Hal Linker”

    Hi Ray,

    I remember the Narod’s location on Holt, west of Central. It was called Narod’s Saloon. There was a couch outside at the rear of the building at which I found some comfort circa 1978. It was a dancing place, and I don’t like to dance much — so I did the horizontal mambo out back on that wonderful couch. This was the height of the disco / coke era. Kinda decadent and shameless. Ha ha. She was married, I was single. Yikes!

    Later it became the Pink Elephant and a bunch of other stuff. Is the building still there?

  • “Hal Linker”

    If my memory serves me correctly, the clock tower was dead center in the center court in front of JC Penney’s. I think it had a planter, or something around it which people could sit around. But I might be wrong about that. I know it was a pre-designated meeting place for many people and families when their shopping was done. There must have been some benches or seating available nearby if my memory’s correct.

    [Was the clock tower replaced by the elevator? Or...? -- DA]

  • Tad Decker

    Hello Ontario Emperor, “Hal Linker,” and David –

    Re: the clock tower at the Montclair Plaza.

    I mentioned this landmark of the 1960s Plaza back in the equally-landmark-thread called Things That Aren’t Here Anymore (found under the heading “Reminiscin’”). It really should more properly be referred to as a towering clock, rather than a clock tower. It was indeed located in the large center court, in front of the JCPenney store. Although the plaza was only one level at that time, the center court was a lofty two stories high. The flat ceiling was divided into large squares by artificial plaster “beams,” and I think that every other square contained a skylight, so that the area was flooded with daylight. As I mentioned before, there was hanging from the ceiling around the clock an impressionistic sculpture depicting flocks of birds.

    The towering clock itself was a four-sided glass box, being in height at least three-quarters of the way to the ceiling (by my estimate). It had four faces (N, S, E & W), and a long, strictly decorative pendulum, which lazily and jerkily swung side to side.

    The central area was heavily landscaped, and contained many benches. It was designed as a central meeting point for shoppers wearied of traversing the vast reaches of this inland shopping mecca.

    When the 1980s remodel was underway (making way for the elevator mentioned in a prior post), I believe that the famous clock was to have been saved and relocated to an exterior location near city hall. This never came to pass….

    [Interesting, especially about the relocation plans. Thanks, Tad. -- DA]

  • ray

    Hal, I believe the Pink Elephant is now an automotive repair shop. Maybe the couch is still there ?? Ha,Ha Your “right on” about Narod’s (Saloon). You could definitely SCORE spending an evening at Narod’s. Does Red Devil Pizza sound familiar to anyone ??

    [I think the people behind Monaco's Pizza in Rancho used to run or own Red Devil. By the way, Ray, you're commenter No. 900 on this blog. -- DA]

  • richard e nunez

    the oasia was next to the lucky star market use to go there for lunch when i worked at genral dynmics.also i seen van halyn back when it was walter mittys what a night.

  • “Hal Linker”

    Tad Decker Rules! Thanks for the very detailed stuff about the clock area in the old plaza!!

    JimL: It would seem that the Oasis and Walter Mitty’s co-existed in the late 1970s based on what information you have gathered, along with other posts. This means that there were two bars at the location at least during this time frame. John Harrelson also made mention of an Oasis teen club out in Ontario on Euclid circa the mid 1960s. The owners of Westmont Hardware go back 41 years to 1967. If they say it was the Hut, I’ll go with that. It’s very possible that this building had other businesses in it prior to 1967. If The Oasis existed in the late 1970s and became Berliner Kindl, and Walter Mitty’s became a struggling pizza place, how long did it struggle? And what came next?

    Ray: I would have totally forgotten about Gallup’s Bikes if you didn’t bring it up. I remember that Hostess Thrift Store between Mission and Holt on Central too. Wasn’t there some kind of billiards store near there as well?

    I remember Papa Bill’s too. Narod’s Saloon was a definite sure thing. I could spend five minutes there and walk out with a fine quality piece of assistance. Many zipless ****s were waiting for some anonymous passion.

    I sure hope that couch isn’t there anymore. For the record, it was very clean and new looking when I was out there in 1978. The woman and I walked out the front entrance to get out of the noise and get some air and talk. As we were talking, we walked around the parking lot. When we got to the back of the place we spotted the couch. Maybe there was a furniture store nearby. One thing led to the other. It was a damned disco inferno! Cue: How Deep Is Your Love?

    There was a Red Devil Pizza (I think it became the Pizza Peddler and Shoe City later) in the Safeway (now Albertsons) Shopping center in Chino at Philadelphia and Central across from the Pine Tree Motel. Jeez!!! Do I have some stories about the Pine Tree Motel!!! Maybe later.

    There also used to be a gas station on the NE corner of Philadelphia and Central called Coin Power. The gimmick was that you would go to the center booth and buy these large silver dollar sized tokens and drop them into your pump to pay for the gas.

    One of the most beloved gas stations was Smitty’s on the NE corner of Central and D Street. The place was run by E.G. Smith with his son Russell. It had four pumps, a lube rack and a coke machine. They did mechanical work and they were the nicest people around. At some point dad retired and Russell became a bus mechanic. There was a super small cafe behind the station which, I think, was called Hick’s Cafe. Strangely, as often as I went to Smitty’s for their friendly full service, I don’t believe I ever ate at the cafe.

    Across the street on the SE corner of D and Central (also bordered by Ninth Street to the east and Chino Avenue to the South) was the old Chino Civic Center, Police Department, Fire Department, Court and Jail when things were a lot friendlier and cozier. Got some stories about that place too. But maybe later.

    At Central and C street on the east side of Central was J.E. Davis Ford, which later became Chino Ford, which still later moved to Ramona and Chino Hills Parkway (old Merrill) and became Chino Hills Ford, even though it is actually located in the Chino city limits.

    A super long-lived gas station is Chuck Smith’s Chevron on the NW corner of Riverside Drive and Central. The place has a 40-year-plus history and has been modernized over the years.

    Just west down Riverside Drive is the Riverside Grill which is a fine place to eat for any meal. It used to be a Kentucky Fried Chicken years ago. A couple of other failed businesses tried the location before the Grill became a fixture. Long may it live. Maybe Ill eat there tomorrow. Haven’t been there in a while.

  • Jon Scott

    How about the D.E.S. Hall just west of Central? I played in a backup band for “The Wolfman Jack Show.” It must have been in the late ’60s. We did a number of shows around The southland, with The Wolfman. This was before “The Midnight Special.” XERB “are ya’ naked.”

  • “Hal Linker”

    D.E.S. Hall on 7th and Riverside Drive across the street from the Chino Car Wash.

    XERB-1090 50,000 watts of power!! Have Mercy!!!

    Re: Wolfman Jack circa the Sixties.

    I have a quibble with his inclusion in the film American Graffiti. The time setting of the movie is 1962 – thus the movie’s tagline “Where were you in ’62?”

    But Wolfman Jack hadn’t yet created his persona in 1962 and he certainly hadn’t got hold of a Mexican 50,000 watter yet. So shame on you George Lucas! You screwed up – genius! Historical inaccuracy regarding a pivotal character in the movie! The Wolfman didn’t hit California till 1964. So take that(!!!) big time movie director!!!

    (Incidentally, Wolfman Jack’s autobiography, “Have Mercy!” is a fascinating read, even if you’re not that big of a radio fan. It rules!)

    Jon Scott: There are more references to D.E.S. Hall in another post’s comments about Winchell’s Donuts in Chino.

  • Tiff

    I knew the gentleman who bought the clock tower from the Montclair Plaza, hoping to save it for a while and sell it back to the city. I’m pretty sure it’s now a sad pile of rubble in a truck yard.

  • ray

    Narod’s Saloon correction: It is called Rio Grande Night club. No mention of POLLICELLI’S Italian Market on Holt in Montclair or TINA MARIE’S Restaurant on Mission between Fremont/Monte Vista. It is now “EL NOPAL”.

    SLOT CAR’S Part II: There was a track, I believe, in Montclair where S&W Plastics is located. I had friends that were founders of the original ROACH COACH. They were called SPEEDEE LUNCH which is now ROYAL CATERING (Resevoir/Franklin). There was nothing like a Ramona’s Beef & Bean Burrito, a bag of Fritos & a Coke off the truck. If you were nice to the driver, you could run a tab !!

  • “Hal Linker”

    Pollicelli’s, yeah, that was over there on Holt just east of Mills around where the Standard Brands Paint store was, right?

    Angels Hardware on Mills near Holt. Gene’s All Color Paint was on the other side of Mills across from the Sears Pomona Valley Center.

    Turner’s Tractor was on Mission north side bewteen Central and Monte Vista somewhere. I think the building and grounds are still there but its’s something else now.

    And all those cheap seedy motels on the north side of Mission between Central and Mountain, many of which are still in biz, but looking a lot worse for wear and tear. Names like Bright Star, Skandia, The Sands, The Rancho come drifting back.

    Remember those motel-issue wall-mounted color TVs with FM stereos in ‘em circa the 1970s?

  • Jon Scott

    Pollicellie’s Market was in the building that was the Blue Room, back in the 40′s and 50′s. That’s what some of the old timers have told me.

    Anyone remember the original Mud Flap Inn, on the corner of Central and Mission? They had the best hamburgers. They now sell a different cut of meat on that corner.
    So I’ve heard.

  • ray

    The Mud Flap Inn was originally called Charlies Bar & Grill. There was a small gas station right on the corner Central/Mission owned by the Holt family who later moved on to open Holt’s Auto Electric on Grand west of Pipeline. The Holts sold to Paul’s NRG Gas & Paul sold to GUESS WHO ???

    The small gas station was coverted to a 25 cent X-rated film shop thus the beginning of the Deja Vu. Turner’s Tractor is now a recycling center. Next to Turner’s was Jim’s Furniture.

    On Holt you had LLOYD’S Furniture & Appliances (See Pancho for best prices). The Agitator Shop, Stop & Go Market, Farmers Village, Pomona Valley Creamery, LOBO’S CAVE & yes the Mud Flap had great hamburgers. Pickled pigs feet was a favorite.

  • “Hal Linker”

    I definitely remember the Mud Flap Inn. And the Always Inn. Were they next to each other by to the old Eyeful shack which became Deja Vu? Or were they one in the same at different times? Always Inn — what a name! Now that corner is the home of the tasty lap sandwich. French Dip, Hot Beef or Tuna Melt, anyone?

    With regard to the roach coaches. I recall Speedee Lunch. It seemed that when Royal Catering took over, they hired some very foxy women to run the coaches. At least in my neck of the woods, they did. A couple of them were total knockouts! This had to be great for business.

  • “Hal Linker”

    Ray: I remember Lloyd’s furniture. It was on the south side of Holt across the street from the Bowlium. When I was in junior high, my parents would sometimes drop me and a few friends at the Bowlium for the day. When we’d get tired of the bowling alley and / or were about out of money, we’d go to the small liquor store in the parking lot of the Bowlium, buy some Cactus Coolers and head for Lloyd’s.

    Once inside the store, we’d drive the salesmen nuts. Being punk kids and not potential sales didn’t help us. It wasn’t that we were trying to bug them — we just did because we were uninhibited kids. We’d turn every stereo in the store on to the rock stations and turn the volume up because we wanted to hear our music. We had no idea it might not be sitting well with the salesmen trying to talk older customers into buying furniture.

    We’d lay on the beds and sometimes do somersaults on them. It was fun, but annoying to the management. Ultimately we would be asked to leave by some poor hungover-looking guy who didn’t need the aggravation.

    Then, down to our last dime, we’d use the pay phone to call whoever’s parents were gonna pick us up. We lit up cigarettes and waited under the concrete arches (actually sometimes climbing atop them) of the Bowlium for our ride.

    I’m glad the Bowlium is still there. Hope it never goes. Lloyd’s building was still there but another name, last I checked.

    The restaurant adjacent to the Bowlium was called the Jade Palace for a time. Anybody remember other names of this venue before it was torn down?

    The Agitator Shop is still there and for good reason. My parents and I have patronized this place since the 1950s. Same with Conley’s Manufacturing. Conley’s fabricated a hay trailer for my dad’s dairy in the 1950s using aviation tires for a low to the ground but sturdy construction. It was a great trailer! Lasted forever. Viva The Agitator Shop and Conley’s.

    Too bad about Turner’s Tractor. When did they go down — the 1990s? I used to go there for my Ford Tractor parts and supplies. When they closed, I became a customer of Chino Welding & Tractor Supply out on Chino Corona Road off of Pine near the old Vera Villa Market and the Frontera Prison.

    I believe the last guy to actually have cows at the Pomona Valley Creamery was a guy named Walt Visser. This was probably in the 1970s. His son, Gary, became a veterinarian. They were kind of uptight people.

    I think the Farmer’s Village building still stands and is now a Mexican type market, last I looked.

    There was also a furniture store on the SE corner of Monte Vista and Holt which may have also been a carpet store. It burned down. Anyone recall the name(s) of this place?

    [Some of us newsroom folks went bowling at the Bowlium last fall and we had a great time. Although I still miss that towering Bowlium sign, which was replaced by a dinky, tombstone-style sign. -- DA]

  • Tad Decker

    Hal,

    The furniture store to which you referred (at the SW corner of Holt and Monte Vista) was the Sleepcraft Mattress Store. I remember it with the huge sign “MATTRESS” lit with twinkling red lights.

    And as for the Agitator Shop, it is one of those “things not here anymore.” I think it made it until the last 18 months or so.

    [Dang! I'd have done a farewell column for the Agitator Shop if I'd known. -- DA]

  • “Hal Linker”

    Major bummer about The Agitator Shop. Time must be flying. Seems just yesterday I bought a window air conditioning unit there. What a drag. What is on that lot now?

    Tad Decker, thanks for the info on Sleepcraft. Shoot, I thought it was on the SE corner – I trust your info though. So what was on the SE corner then, a carpet and tile store or something?

    Was Sleepcraft the one that burned down? I bought my kid a wooden race car bed there when he was small.

    Anybody know or remember anything about the Jade Palace building adjacent to the Bowlium parking lot and just SW of the alley?

    Is Larry’s Burgers still there on Holt? I remember when that place went up in the 1970′s. Later it became Larry’s own little center with other businesses there.

    When it first opened, I was digging one of the servers there who was a girl friend’s better looking younger sister (they both had winning personalities, always a must). I wasn’t there for the food, which was pretty standard burger fare. It was Little Sister that was more appetizing! Wonder what ever happened to her? (rhetorical) She used to wear these satiny looking shiny dark blue basketball type shorts, which were popular at the time, with tank tops and no bra.

    It was around that time that Bad Company came out with their Run With the Pack album and a very apropos simple tune titled “Sweet Lil’ Sister.*” She was definitely “dancing with the devil in her eyes.” And, her “momma never missed her till she got laid-laid-laid.”

    Little Sister liked to rock and she LOVED to roll. We spent a lot of time together gettin’ high, one way or another, and surrounding ourselves with music. I took her to see Zeppelin at the Forum the night the infamous Linda Lovelace introduced the band in March 1975 – the Physical Graffiti Tour. We spent a memorable two days together circa Labor Day 1975 at the Mission Inn (which for a time was also the headquarters of KOLA-FM radio, then an underground rock station format with no DJ’s – automated with reel to reels and CARTs).

    From there we went to an outdoor rock show at the Orange Show Grounds in San Bernardino which was headlined by Black Sabbath (who had their first five and best LP’s out, Sabotage being the most recent), Lynyrd Skynyrd (who had the first 3 LP’s out, the most recent of which was Nuthin’ Fancy), Peter Frampton (who had released his first and best 4 solo studio LP’s but not the double live (“government issue”) Frampton Comes Alive (essentially, this was the Frampton Comes Alive tour) and Brownsville Station who were, even then, best known for “Smokin’ In the Boys Room.”

    Not great art, exactly, but butt shakin’ unpretentious rock ‘n’ roll in the gritty San Bernardino tradition. We did our hedonistic best at living up to the sex, drugs & rock ‘n’ roll credo – and let’s not forget a heavy dose of sunshine which caused us to remove and lose unnecessary garments of all sorts.

    Oh sweet bird of youth! As they say, …. Gather ye rosebuds while ye may … keep the wine of life fully stocked and renewed .. the fountain of youth only exists in your mind … and once you free your mind, your ass will follow … may your song always be sung, may you stay Forever Young.

    * You gotta love the simple direct no-nonsense rock of Bad Company’s early work. The classic “Feel Like Makin’ Love,” from Straight Shooter is unforgettable. If I think of all the times women must have seduced their men to this number while bumping and grinding and doing home grown strip shows, it’s just overwhelming. I know this from my own personal experiences in motels and bedrooms over the years. I’m sure my experiences aren’t unique. Another unbelievable bump and grinder is “The Zoo,” by the Scorpions. Women love to seduce and strip to it. Try it at home or in the privacy of a (perhaps soundproof) motel room. You won’t regret it!!

    [Everyone else has forgotten the question, but yes, Larry's Burgers is still around, as part of the Larry's Plaza, perhaps the best-named strip mall in the Inland Valley. -- DA]

  • ray

    The Agitator Shop is now a Motor Home rental facility. I knew a Visser family that used to own Pine View Dairy on East End Ave south of Grand.

    The EYEFUL was the beginning of DEJA VU. Once bigger & better things were obvious ( No pun intended) the expansion began.

    Chino Discount Furniture on Riverside Dr. east of Central was a busy store. I used to work at a PHILLIPS “66″ station on that corner.

    More on Mission Blvd : 5TH Avenue Liquor, The BLUE BARN, The Palladium, McCoy’s, COONS (SIX PACK) CAMPERS, Pomona Feed.

    [Pomona Feed is still there, isn't it? I believe it celebrated its 100th anniversary last year. -- DA]

  • Tad Decker

    Hal,

    You are right about SleepCraft being on the SE corner of Holt and Monte Vista (I had the SE corner in mind while I was typing SW!). And yes, it is the building that burned down.

  • “Hal Linker”

    Hi Ray,

    I remember Pine View Dairy, too. That was a different Visser family than the one at Pomona Valley Creamery. They had a couple of kinda cute daughters and a son named Benny. They were not uptight people like the Vissers at PVC. It was close to Tropical Mexico.

    They moved out to a dairy on Pine Avenue between Euclid and Chino-Corona Road and eventually went out of business. Benny was working in the lumber industry in Northern California last I heard.

    I also remember that Phillips 66 station and the furniture store. Both got absorbed by M.K. Smith Chevrolet. Incidentally, the furniture store used to be a Meat Market eons ago – I guess late 50′s early 1960′s.

    In a super controversial decision, the City of Chino condemned the furniture store on behalf of M.K. Smith Chevrolet.

    Ultimately, M.K. Smith Chevrolet ended up getting the old classic Thornton’s neighborhood drug store near Tenth and Riverside Drive, when they went out too. I think M.K. Smith has pretty much the whole block bordered by Central, Riverside Drive, Ninth Street and Washington, except for the Pomona First Federal Savings and B of A locations on SE corner of Washington and Central.

    Gilbert Gonzales the Service Deaprtment chief is one of the nicest people connected with the auto industry. Either that, or he just loves the hell out of “Hadla”! He treated her like a queen when she came in with service needs. But, then again, “Hadla” has that effect on people.

    Across Ninth on Riverside Drive was Ozzie’s Oasis / then Pearl City/ then ??? and Lord Tire. Lord Tire was originally owned by Mike Van Meteren who sold the place in the 1980′s and left Chino to open a restaurant and bar out on the Oregon/Idaho border. It kept the Lord Tire name until a couple of years ago when it went out of business. They had mobile repair trucks and a good deal of their business came from the dairy industry. When the dairies began to exit en masse, Lord couldn’t survive.

    Their main man, Lee, was always smokin’ a cigarette and nursing a Budweiser no matter what the time of day. Customers would always be offered, and usually accepted, beer from the well stocked office fridge. It made a wait for tires fly by in beer drinking bull sessions. As things got more civilized and PC in America and Chino, he quit the beer and went for coffee.

    When Lord Tire went out of business, the building stayed empty for a couple of years until recently an AAMCO transmission moved in.

    Was the Palladium the roller rink? Our school used to take us there for skating parties in grade school and junior high via school bus. Even then I preferred playing pool to skating. But I’d inevitably get dragged out on the rink during the Ladies Choice.

    I used to know a few people who worked at the McCoy’s on East End. We partied and put some pigs underground.

    Anyone recall Bob’s Charburger in Los Serranos on Descanso Street? I believe it was the only burger joint in Chino Hills in the mid to early 1960′s. For a while it was a pretty rough and tough hangout of local hoods.

    Anybody ever hang out at Lake Los Serranos before they had a trailer park there?

    How about the Band Box? Anyone?

    P.S. Thanks for the update and clarification on the location of SleepCraft, Tad Decker. It’s always nice to know that most of the screws are still fastened tight.

  • ray

    Hal, Benny was cool, and definitely the daugthers were foxes. Stanley, the father, was OK, but awfully tight with his money. A friend of mine worked for Stanley but could never get a raise. And I know for a fact that my friend worked that Drive-Thru hard for the Vissers.

  • ray

    I believe McCoy’s was on Pipeline/Mission ??

  • ray

    Hal, I thought I’d share this Jimi Hendrix experience with you: I attended a Jimi Hendrix concert @ the Swing Auditorium with Boz Scaggs & Ballin Jack as the support billing. Hendrix was absolutely incredible & after a few encores nobody would leave. Early 70′s trigger happy SB County Sheriff’s (Or were they City Cops ) came in & tear gassed the crap out of us. All we wanted was a little “Hey Joe”, “Foxy Lady” or “Watchtower” !! It worked & we got the hell out of there. By the way, my ticket cost $10, I was front row & broke.

  • “Hal Linker”

    Hey Ray,

    Yeah Benny was cool. I partied a few times with him in the mid 1970′s. He had one of those vans with a mural on the side in the late mid 1970′s. Damn, I can’t remember his sisters’ names but I can picture them. Patty and Nancy maybe (everyone knew her as Nancy)? I got a mental block on that one.

    You’re right about his dad, he was a typical tightwad cheap Dutchman – penny wise and dollar foolish.

    I was at a wedding reception where the dad, Stanley, got so drunk that he was trying to pick up on girls between the ages of 12 and 16, and not in a sweet old man kind of way. His wife was totally pissed off at him. I think I was 16 at the time and my older sister was in the wedding as the maid of honor. Ol’ Stanley was the biggest drunkest idiot in the whole bunch of revelers.

    The situation was sort of comical as long as you weren’t his wife. He was actually drinking out of the champagne fountain like a cow at a water trough. His wife was trying to get him to go to the car and leave all night, but she wasn’t succeeding. He was one of the last to go. What a hammerhead! Obviously he didn’t get out much. I can see why. I wouldn’t take him anywhere, either. Especially not anyplace with an open bar!

    I thought there was a McCoy’s on East End and Phillips too. But maybe it was a different name. It was a feed store though. Sometimes there would be big parties on that corner behind the feed store – Phillips and East End.

    I know exactly what you’re talking about regarding Jimi Hendrix at the Swing Auditorium. I had a friend who lived in Rialto and his mom worked concessions at the Swing*. During the time she worked there we got into all the shows we wanted to see for free – and for free we wanted to see a whole lot! Jeez, you had to pay ten bucks for that show! That’s a lot of money for 1970!

    We were at that same Hendrix show in June of 1970. I heard different reasons why the cops tear-gassed us. Some people were saying that there were a lot of phony tickets sold and too many people were inside who wouldn’t leave. Whatever the deal was, it was really screwed up of the cops to do that. What were they thinking? I remember Hendrix saying from the stage something like “I’m never coming back to this place.” (He didn’t have to worry about it. Sadly, he was dead in a matter of months from choking on his own vomit after sleeping pills and wine).

    That was a problem at some concerts during the late 1960′s and early 1970′s. Cops were hired as security. At the Swing the cops would bring a bus paddy wagon and usually fill it up with kids who were smoking reefer or running around topless or naked. It was a real clash of cultures. The cops resented the strange long haired hippies and the kids resented the Man.

    I remember at the Blind Faith concert at the Forum (with Delaney & Bonnie & Free opening) cops and hippies were so contentious during the show that Blind Faith stopped playing several times and asked the cops and the kids to cool it. But the cops would continue to arrest kids at random and refuse to let the Forum turn the house lights off during the show. Both sides spurred each other on.

    LAPD was pretty redneck at that time. I got hassled relentlessly when I used to hang out in Hollywood back then – just because of the hair. They’d tear your car apart just looking for a seed or something. It was scary times, sometimes. Pot was a big deal before the decriminalization for under an ounce back in, was it, 1976? I had two friends who got busted at a Savoy Brown show at the Swing for a few joints worth of pot and it was a major big deal for them. Cost ‘em a fortune to get a lawyer and to try to stay out of jail.

    It was definitely a different time and the changes were happening really fast. Now it sometimes seems even weirder. For instance, the last time I went to the Greek Theatre in Los Angeles, which is an outdoor venue, my older brother was asked by private security to extinguish his Marlboro cigarette or leave the venue, even though everyone around him was smoking pot, and that was OK.

    I guess people are selective about which secondhand smoke they will tolerate.

    * Hendrix had earlier played the Forum that year in April with Ballin’ Jack and Buddy Miles. It was the called The Cry Of Love Tour and Billy Cox was playing bass with Mitch Mitchell on drums. I went to that show too. It was longer and better. But I had to pay for that one. My friend Jim’s mom who worked the concessions got us in to see so many great shows for free at the Swing during that time period including Janis Joplin w/ the Kozmic Blues Band & Savoy Brown; Led Zeppelin with Jethro Tull; Creedence with Lee Michaels; Jefferson Airplane, The Moody Blues, Grateful Dead, Rascals; Joe Cocker on the Mad Dogs & Englishmen tour; Jethro Tull with Ballin’ Jack & Clouds; Santana with Bread; Steve Miller Band and many more in the years before and after.

  • “Hal LInker”

    Now that I think about it, I think that feed store might have been on Francis and East End. I thought it was McCoy’s too but it might have been soemthing else. It’s not McCoy’s now.

  • “Hal Linker”

    Paradise Flossed

    Ray: There were a couple of guys who lived in one of those small houses along Central above Mission on the west side just before the hump. I dont know why I was at that location or exactly what the circumstances were but these two guys, I think they were brothers, were really wacked out. The older one had a panel truck which I think was brown. His name was Mike, I cant remember what his brothers name was. This would be late 1970s around 1977. I think I may have come with a friend who was either buying or selling some chrome rims.

    My friend and I were startled at how goofy they were. We assumed they were smokin Shermans dipped in PCP or some other heinous drug like that. But they could also have been completely dusted and brain damaged from previous major drug use. I was wondering if you were around that area and would remember these guys. I think they were renters I cant imagine them being homeowners.

    The older one talked to me like he knew me from old times, but I never met him before. He kept calling me Bonita Tomita Lomita in a falsetto type voice and a strange leer. The younger one didnt say much of anything but was walking around the house in slow motion like he was on a giant sponge. These guys made Cheech and Chong look like choirboys.

    Weirdly enough, I ran into the older Mike guy about a month later when he walked into the Midway Bar. He was acting equally bizarre. I was with a friend and Maniac Mike kept calling us Tucky and Ducky in that very peculiar slow motion falsetto.

    About a half an hour later three ladies walked in together. A gorgeous thin blonde, who looked a great deal like that current American Midol contestant, Brooke, only more sultry and worldly; a reasonably attractive brunette with a little cushion for pushin; and a huge beached whale. My friend and I paired up with the attractive brunette and the gorgeous blonde, respectively, and we left Mental Mike, the space ranger, with the monstrously obese Jabba the Hutt.

    Since I had driven up with my friend (who for privacy concerns well call Zeke), he took me and Suzette to my place and dropped us off. Suzette and I would spend the next three days together. It was a lively romp which exceeded both our expectations.

    Zeke took Darla near the vicinity of her parents home and they made love in the grass at Puddingstone Lake till the fishermen started showing up in the morning. Then they had breakfast at Dennys before he dropped her at her parents’. Zeke was engaged to another woman at the time. He felt really guilty about his one-night stand. His secrets were safe, however. He married that woman he was engaged to (I was the Best Man) and they are still together some 30 years later.

    The next day Suzette and I went to one of those huge concerts at Anaheim Stadium that they had quite frequently every summer in the mid-1970s. On the drive to Orange County, in my navy blue 1966 Buick Skylark 401 V-8 convertible, we took some whites (this was a Seventies equivalent of espresso), smoked a couple doobs and listened to Overnite Sensation and Agents Of Fortune. Suzette was very affectionate and the dynamo did hum. We giddily sang along, Goin to Montana soon; Gonna be a dental floss tycoon! Yippy-Ty-Yo-Ty-Ay!

    Suzette was alright. I mean how many gorgeous blondes out there would know the lyrics to Camarillo Brillo and Dirty Love by heart. She said her older brother was a Zappa freak and thats how she picked up on it. We talked a bit about Billy the Mountain and hot Yahoo! Bottles and the Latex Solar Beef even Frunobulax! And pink donations to the dragon of your dreams. The chick was far out. She played piano, guitar and saxophone as well. Wow! This chance encounter was getting interesting. It was almost like meeting Suzy Creemcheese.

    When the BOC album was playing, she moved sensually to the vibrations of The Revenge Of Vera Gemini, after which we discussed our mutual admiration for Patti Smith. Horses was such a fantastic album and her early 1976 shows at The Roxy and Golden Bear were the stuff of legend. Suzette was turning out to be more than okay. Linger on, your pale blue eyes.

    Anyway, the August 1977 Anaheim Stadium concert was headlined by Lynyrd Skynyrd who did stuff from the, as yet unreleased, Street Survivors album. This concert was less than two months before the tragic plane crash. Foreigner and Ted Nugent were also on the bill.

    I wore my hard plastic Lunar Patrol hat which had a flashing rotating red light on top of it so that my friends could locate me once on the infield of the stadium. I had to argue with the cops at the gate because they didnt want to let me take it in. I told them to check it out thoroughly. They tore the battery out of the top flashing light compartment looking for contraband and then replaced it. After a short consultation between two of the cops and some very useful begging by the stunning Suzette, I was reluctantly allowed to take the hat inside, despite disapproving scowls from some of the officers.

    The hat did the trick. Soon Zeke showed up, as planned, with his bride to be, Kari (I told Suzette to keep it cool about the night before she thought the situation was hysterical). Zeke and Kari had dropped two hits apiece of the some weak late 70s King Tut 100mic acid before entering.

    A local pot dealer, who well call Skinny, arrived with his Cattlemans Wharf waitress friend, Lisa, and a large plastic case full of pre-rolled, color-coated joints. He had marked the joints with Flair pens to indicate what was inside of them. A green line was for Colombian, a red line was for Thai, two red lines were for Thai coated with honey oil, two green lines were Colombian laced with hashish. He had scores, if not hundreds of these joints.

    We did not smoke them in the traditional sense. We put them in the stem of a bong so that each hit was at least half a joint. This was some serious dope smokin! Take that you Rastafarians! And of course there were the shrooms and mescaline too! We had to love Skinny, he was always planning ahead. I played in a local band at the time and he was sort of like our poor mans Owsley. The dealer with the golden heart, he just loved turning people on.

    Hadla, who I had met for the first time around April of 1977*, showed up with a distant friend of mine named Beau. She deliberately and heavily made out with him in front of me to see if she could get a reaction. I was not letting on – A poker face for her high school games. After all, Suzette and I were still getting acquainted and five other women had keys to my home. Hadla and I spent several subsequent years torturing each other this way, before acknowledging what was obvious to all of our friends.

    Suzette and I were partying with Skinny and Lisa, while Zeke and Kari wandered around tripping and Hadla and Beau necked and caressed. We divided up some mushrooms and bonged a few joints. Skinny was sharing his stash with everyone around us. Then, who do I see but this Madman Mike guy with the gargantuan lard mountain from the night before. I started cracking up and told Skinny about this lunatic. I stood up and motioned for them to come over.

    Suzette struck up a conversation with her beyond-rotund friend. Mike started yelling his high pitched Bonita Tomita Lomita Bonita Tomita Lomita! and got really excited about seeing me. They sat down near us and enjoyed Skinnys stash. Skinny was enjoying Mikes deranged banter as if it was enhancing his buzz. The screwier Mike the Mental Midget got, the bigger Skinnys ear to ear grin. Perhaps they had reached similar wavelengths.

    *It was love at first sight for both of us but it took many years for us to admit and succumb to it. I met her at the Pine Tree Motel a really good story for another time and its not what it sounds like at all.

    ** At this time, however, I was unaware that Hadla had lied to me about her age, her birth date and her sexual history. I believed she was 19, was born in September and would soon be 20, and that she sexually experienced. About two weeks from the date of this show I would find out she was only 16 and was born in May. But, even though, in retrospect, I should have figured it out, I did not know she was a virgin. Since I met her in April, she had been coming over my place almost on a daily basis (and in April she was only 15!). She played flute and piano and she was good with words so we wrote some tunes together. I dug her but could barely get past first base with her when she would turn on the ice. I wasnt used to that and it really messed with my head. All indications were that the relationship was an absolute hit except it wasnt progressing physically at all. Whenever another woman would come around shed excuse herself and act rattled and sometimes become hostile to them. Nevertheless, she had indicated to me in rather vague descriptions that she was sexually experienced. It was all bravado on her part, but she was damned convincing. After she turned the ice on me one too many times, I resigned myself to just being her friend, but, because deep down I wanted it to progress further than that, it was a rocky, tempestuous road. I kept seeing as many women as possible which was aggravating the hell out of Hadla. But she would never cop to it. Wed blow up and not see each other for a month or so before repeating the same scenes.

    Once, when she was still 17, and still a virgin, she came by my home late at night when there was no other woman with me, a rarity in those days. I was naked in bed and she let herself in. She removed her top and bra and crawled in bed with me, still wearing her cut-offs. I pretended to be asleep but I heard her come in. I thought that this was finally going to be the night. She massaged my back tenderly. I was easily aroused. Just the thought of Hadla and myself making love after the frustrations of the previous year was extremely exciting!!! But, just as quickly as she had climbed into bed with me, she got out and began putting her bra back on.

    I asked her what she was doing. She said she couldnt go through with it.

    I said Why not! Itll be good, I promise. Theres no reason for apprehension.”

    She finished putting her bra and top on and headed for the door. I didnt want her to leave and followed her to the door, still in a state of arousal, begging her to stay. She said she just couldnt do it. She left.

    I was beside myself. Was she a head case or something? I was beginning to wonder. She sure was turning me into one.

    It sure was a major tease. But I thought, to hell with it, and went back to bed.

    A minute or so later she came back in and asked me to walk her to her car. She said that a nude man had accosted her in my driveway from out of my hedges and she was terrified.

    Now I was really starting to think Hadla was a head case. I didnt believe her story. Naked men leaping from my hedges? I mean, cmon! She insisted that she was telling the truth. She said the guy told her that he had locked himself out of his house or something. I still didnt believe it but I got out of bed and grabbed my rarely used bathrobe to escort her outside. She thanked me and gave me an absolutely wonderful, lengthy firework filled kiss before she got in her car. Now I was aroused again and she was speeding down the road. Damn this chick!

    Around three in the morning one of my other girlfriends, who for privacy concerns well call Angie, a daughter of a local city official and 18 year old senior at Chino High School, let herself in and eased the pain and uncertainty. She spun Kristoffersons debut album and held her warm and tender body next to mine As she helped me make it through the night with Sunday mornin comin down.

    This footnote to be continued.. Will Hal and Hadla find love? And what about the naked man in the bushes? Will Madman Mike find true love comes in huge hyper-frumpy packages? Does Suzette join the band? Find out in the next installment of Paradise Flossed!!

    [For the record, this note is 2,200 words, or the length of a week's worth of my 600- to 700-word columns! -- DA]

  • “Hal Linker”

    Oral Support at the Big A Paradise Flossed part Two

    Meanwhile back at the huge stadium concert:

    Skynyrd closed the show playing brilliantly and evangelistically in the setting sun. No one could know that this seminal band would never be back to Southern California.

    Before the Southern rockers, the Nugent band was at the height of their powers. Ted strutted the stage and climbed the amps, shirtless in his skin tight white spandex pants, smashing hits from his three most recent albums. He was yankin and a-crankin. (I know the guys kind of a joke, but he really is a great guitarist and his music isnt meant to be taken as serious art. Its visceral stuff done with tongue planted firmly in cheek.)

    Foreigner were the upstarts and turned in an impressive show consisting of nearly their entire debut album and a few new numbers which would end up on Double Vision.

    By the time the show was over, Suzette and I had peaked and come down from the mushrooms. As we were gathering up our blankets and such, Zeke and Kari offered us some of their King Tut blotter acid. We accepted and I put the four hits of acid in my Marlboro hard pack under the foil that contained the ciggies. Thats the same place I stashed my 70s espresso (bennies, whites., uppers., said in a Jack Webb-like tone and manner).

    When we got to my ’66 Skylark convertible in the stadium parking lot, we placed our blankets and old trusty Lunar Patrol helmet in the trunk. I had put some beer on ice in a chest in the trunk before the show. While most of the ice had melted, the beers were incredibly cold! We each grabbed a pair of Michelob bottles from the chest. Theyd been in there so long the labels were falling off. They were frosty and just what the doctor ordered after a long afternoon in the blazing sun.

    We each guzzled a beer while we took the top down on the car. I can honestly say that it was one of the best beers Ive ever had in my life. It really quenched our Mojaves.

    The traffic going out of the stadium was a nightmare, so we elected to sit in the car a while and enjoy the sunset, some music, one of Skinnys two-red-lined joints (Thai with honey oil for those not keeping track), and, ourselves. Suzette turned the radio on to KMET and Styxs Grand Illusion came blaring out. The last thing we wanted to hear was that Broadway masquerading as rock n roll B.S., so I told her to reach for one of my custom homemade cassettes. She popped one in and the Mink DeVille tracks met both of our approvals.

    I did the Cadillac Walk and the Spanish Stroll with the Venus of Avenue D, as we smoked a terrific jay and chased it with icy Michelob and lusty French kisses. Suzette was the Nazz. What little I knew about her was all superb. We had to continue this perfect day.

    I suggested we go to Hollywood since I was familiar with the nightlife and loved it there. I told her we could go to the Rainbow and grab dinner and then maybe go see another rock show or maybe a movie.

    In those days I never planned anything when going to Hollywood. Hollywood was the plan! Id just go and something would be happening somewhere. Id play it by ear once I got there. Suzette was elatedly up for it. We exchanged some more gems of kisses. Before leaving the Big A, I pulled two hits of the acid out of my Marlboro pack and slipped them on my tongue. Then I French kissed Suzette and sensually slipped the acid in her mouth.

    I started up the convertible, lit a smoke and dropped my two hits of acid, while Suzette tied back her long blonde hair. The way we figured, wed be starting to come on to the buzz around the time we arrived in Hollywood. As we eased out of the parking lot, Suzette leaned in and kissed my neck tenderly while she warmly stroked my thigh. Jay Fergusons Thunder Island came forth from the speakers singing Shalalalalala my lady In the sun with your dress undone and Suzette whispered in my ear asking me if I was ready for my oral exam.

  • ray

    Hal, the Visser cuties were ANNIE & JEAN. DA, I’ve got a good friend who will be joining us soon on this blog & all I’ve got to say is that he attended more concerts than Hal !!! & is never short on conversation. Hal, can you be more specific about location of MENTAL MIKE’S residence?

  • ray

    Hal, I may be familiar with “Maniac Mike”. I will keep you posted on my findings. He may also be known as “MIDWAY MIKE”

  • “Hal Linker”

    Ray: Yeah, that’s right, Annie and Jean. I think Jean was high school class of ’69 and she lived up to that year. I think their mom’s name was Annie too. I didn’t really know these people that well so it’s amazing I’m recalling as much as I am.

    Jeez, I think Patsy and Nancy might have been some other Visser girls that I scrambled up, maybe they were related. They weren’t kids of the Visser at Pomona Valley Creamery. It seems like there were a lot of Vissers around Chino.

    There was another Visser in Chino named Sam who had big bucks. He had investment money in radio station KROQ along with Bob Hope and others in the early mid-1970s. I have a few crazy stories about that but maybe later. This was before KROQ became what it is today. It actually went broke around 1974, before rising from the ashes. But Sam had money in it and pulled out just before it went broke.

    As far as “Maniac Mike” goes, I think the house he and his brother lived in was one of the last ones before the hump on Central. But it’s been a long time. The house might still be there, I’d recognize it if I see it again. I’d have to drive by that area to figure it out, that is if it still stands. Wasn’t there some kind of tiny church looking building in that area as well?

    That Mike guy was totally dusted out when I saw him on these occasions. Either that or permanent damage. He was pretty strange.

  • ray

    Hal, Be nice….. as Benny will be joining this blog soon. Maniac update: How does the name Kim sound ??? Sound familiar ? He may have worked at Gallups Bike Shop (TINT MASTERS) right next door to that little church.

  • “Hal Linker”

    Ray: I think Midway Mike is a different person than the Mike I describe in my story.

  • “Hal Linker”

    Hollywood and Beyond the Infinite The Third Monolith Paradise Flossed Part 3A

    We hit the 57 Freeway and I felt the warm breeze kiss my face and caress my hair. The moon was as good as full and Tom Waits (Looking For) The Heart Of Saturday Night eased out of the tape deck perfectly. Suzette moved her head tenderly in my lap as Tom growled, Well you gassed her up – behind the wheel with your arm around your sweet one in your Oldsmobile – Barrelin down the boulevard Youre looking for the heart of Saturday night.

    It was still near 80 degrees – a perfect Southern California summer night for cruising with the top down. August 27, 1977 was gonna be a memorable Saturday! Suzette was so sweet, loving and expressive. Life was very good. Yes, indeed.

    I flicked my cigarette out of the car and began caressing Suzettes back with my right hand. As the Waits tune finished, we were near the junction of the 57 and 91 Freeways and I continued north. My plan was to take the 10 Freeway into Hollywood. The 60 may have been the quicker option, but I found it boring in those days. The 10 had more stuff to see. And, believe me, under the circumstances, I was in no hurry. It was definitely time to stop and smell the roses.

    Be-Bop Deluxes Ships In the Night succeeded Waits in the cassettes line-up of music. As the opening chords played, Suzette paused and gazed up at me, declaring her love for both me and the song, before bestowing more adulation on the king of the sea. Be-Bops Bill Nelson sang, Like a square peg in a round hole Like a harp without its strings Like a sailor who sails no oceans Like a bird that has no wings Without love, I am a desert Without love, my light is dim Without love, I have no treasures Without love, I cannot win

    It was impossible to ignore Suzettes affections even with a few mischievous truckers honking as we passed them by. Still, I somehow started thinking about Hadla and Beau at the concert. I was thinking that right about now they would be doin the nasty. It bugged me. Beau didnt deserve her. He was an aggressive inconsiderate pig.

    Jeez! My imagination was getting the best of me! I never got to second base with her. If Hadla didnt want to know, forget her! Besides, look at all the rich blessings I had for which to be thankful – Suzette in my lap, for instance. Damn! How could I be thinking of someone else at this moment!

    The music continued:

    Without love, we are like ships in the night Selling our souls down the river Sailing away, and forever our pleasure is blue.

    The Yorba Linda Blvd. exit passed by at 70 miles per hour and I focused back to reality. I wasnt gonna let thoughts of Hadla F up this perfect day. I fondled the back and sides of Suzettes neck as she loved me through the instrumental portion of the song. She was definitely an artist whose strokes were of varied expressive textures. I was hoping she would use her entire palette of options to create a masterpiece.

    And the music continued some more:

    Like a dream that has no dreamer Like a cloud without a sky Like a truth with no believer Like a mother without a child Without love, I have no pleasures Without love, my light is dim Without love, I have no treasures Without love, my chance is slim Without love, we are like ships in the night Selling our souls down the river Sailing away, and forever our pleasure is blue.

    Iggy Pops energetic Lust For Life kicked in just as we passed Lambert Road on the 57. It changed the mood in a decidedly more upbeat direction. Suzette revealed her inspired soul, accordingly.

    Earlier in the day, on the way to the Stadium, she told me that she took private dance classes from the age of 7 to 18. Obviously she had artistic tendencies which were reflected in all aspects of the way she lived her life. She was also attending Chico State, to which shed be returning shortly. Too bad. She was excellent company. But how well did we really know each other? At least we were off to a terrific start! But, I dont think either one of us thought for a second that anything permanent was afoot.

    Still, I dug her and I knew Id remember her fondly. Perhaps our paths would cross again someday. I had no idea this shot in the dark was gonna pan out so nicely. I dont think she did either. We were definitely having fun and enjoying each others temporal totality.

    Iggy Pop faded into the sublime David Crosby Song With No Words (Tree With No Leaves) as we reached the Pomona area. Suzettes response was so loving that I thought it would be best if I merged the car over to the slow lane and take it relaxed and leisurely. Oh Man! This was getting really good!

    We crawled up Kellogg Hill and coasted through West Covina in a state of ecstatic ardor. Suzette really knew how to charm and tease in just the right measures, at the perfect times. She read the coronas mind – blissfully.

    Between West Covina Parkway and Puente Avenue, Patti Smiths Land began playing. This was such a great sex song! Just freakin amazing! Believe me, I knew from many opium laced-hashish filled and joyful sex-capades in the recent past. I think Suzette knew about it, or its potential, too, because when the song began, she spoke through a flute like Roland Kirk, saying ooh, baby, its time, mmmmm!

    The nine-minute-plus song gradually picked up its pace and began a slow gallop as Patti sang: Horses, horses, horse, horses coming in in all directions white shining silver studs with their nose in flames.

    Land has it all. Sex! Violence! Every conceivable image associated with the libido melded with Land of 1,000 Dances in a crazed free association which calls out homosexual rape, Rimbaud, knife fights, the Tower of Babel, suicide and mad pituitary glands. Im not kidding! In a state of extreme sexual arousal all of these simultaneous overlapping images serve as a sea of possibilities from which we can seize and visualize the dimensions of some of the more primitive and darker elements of our animal instincts while the music propels to orgasm and come down. Extremely powerful and strangely liberating, but a journey not for the faint of heart.

    The song couldnt be playing at a more opportune time as we cruised through Baldwin Park going 42 in a 55 in a very high state of amorous synchronicity. My foot just didnt seem to want to concentrate on the gas pedal anymore. In addition I was starting to feel the inner warmth of the acid beginning to kick in. The saliva in my mouth was telling me the same thing, as a lysergic smile began to make its presence felt. Suzette had to be feeling the same way as she revealed her knowledge of deep shaft mining. The presence of Eros and Aphrodite was tangible! Buckminster Fuller didnt design this dome, the angels did.

    At Rosemead and the 10 Freeway Patti Smith was moaning Coiled snakes white and shiny twirling and encircling Our lives are now entwined We will for years be together twining Your nerves, your mane, like a black shining horse And my fingers all entwined through the hair I could feel it It was your hair going through my fingers I feel it feel it feel it feel it It started hardening in my hand And I felt the arrows of desire And thats how I Thats how I I died I tried to stop it but it was too warm Too unbelievably smooth Like playing in the sea In the sea of possibility.

    The band blazed along with the words. As if on cue, Suzette and I blasted off into the ether finding the paramatma, the fountain of youth, the universal tongue lost at the Tower of Babel, Heavenly Choirs, the kitchen sink and the arms of Venus de Milo.

    Like all good sex, Patti Smiths Land wound down slowly and rhythmically. The music continued to play us as we came down towards afterglow. The full band disappears from the arrangement one by one till only Patti and the drummer remain. In the sheets There was a man Dancing around To a simple Rock N Roll Song. Jay Dee Daughertys simple drums wind down to finish the tune.

    As we soared, we were oblivious to the cars which were honking and passing us. We were down to about 35 miles per hour in the slow lane. Shoot, they always said in driver education to never drive faster than what is safe! We didnt want to end up like the people in Red Asphalt”!

    Suzette kissed me and looked up at my face. Jesus Christ, was all she said as she breathed with exhausted fulfillment.

    He died for you and me, I laughed as I caressed the side of her face with my hand and ran my thumb gently over and between her wet lips. That was mighty tasty. Lets do it again.

    Are you kidding me? Suzette said in disbelief as she squeezed me a bit.

    Of course just joking, but Ill pay you back with interest when we get to Hollywood, okay?

    I cant wait! she said as she sat up and began checking herself out in the visor mirror. Wish I would have met you earlier this summer. Im really having a great time. Youre nuts! . Hey, do you feel the acid coming on?

    I nodded. I lit her a smoke as she re-did her hair-tie and spruced up a bit. I handed her the Marlboro and I thanked her again. She told me I was more than welcome anytime.

    I flipped the cassette over as we neared Atlantic Boulevard and the 10 Freeway. We were now slightly electrified and within striking distance of Hollywood. Chi Coltranes soulful and sultry one-hit wonder burst from the speakers. Suzette moved sensually to the groove and sang along with lustful eyes; Ooh! What a good thing Ive got. Oh its such a good thing I got. I dont think I can stand it. Thunder and lightning. I tell you its frightening. Its thunder and lightning. And youre in control.

    I stepped on the gas feeling the blood rushing back to some very familiar and wonderful places. I began singing along with her as we smiled from our innermost beings. I thought my life was complete. But look what youre doin to me. Oh! Youre makin me crazy. Thunder and lightning. I tell you its frightening. Its thunder and lightning. And youre in control. I dont know how to handle it. Its more than I would dare. I wouldnt try to run from it. It reaches everywhere.

    I asked Suzette if she wanted to get a room at the Sunset Tower. She responded with a purrrrrrrrrrrr-meeeeow and a sly lascivious grin! The stereo blasted as we hit the 101: Im feelin dizzy and weak. You make forget how to speak. I can feel it happening. Thunder and lightning. I tell you its frightening. Thunder and lightning. And youre in control.

    ["Hal Linker," ladies and gentlemen! -- DA]

  • “Hal Linker”

    Ray,

    I’m thinking about it, but so far I’m not remembering a Kim. Was he a long hair?

  • “Hal Linker”

    Hollywood and Beyond the Infinite The Third Monolith Paradise Flossed Part 3B

    The opening chords to “Everybody’s Got Something To Hide Except Me and My Monkey” crackled through our consciousness like lightning bolts! Boy, did this stuff sound great in our rapidly oncoming state. It was goddamned perfect! We screamed along in our minds and voices. We learned a new form of probability. If Dylan = POT, then the Beatles = ACID.

    “Come on, Come on. Come on, Come on. Come on it’s such a joy. Come on it’s such a joy. Come on, let’s take it easy. Come on, let’s take it easy. Take it easy. Take it easy. Everybody’s got something to hide except for me and my monkey.”

    We were now bathing in the multi-sensual experience brought on by the stuff of the Eleusinian Mysteries. With our pupils the size of moon craters and lips still wet and plump with desire, the visitation of that ancient Pharoah began to really take hold.

    All the lights on the instrument panel were alive and enveloping us and merging to become one with our caresses. The music was exploding through the speakers in a perfect form of distortion which could be felt and seen as well as heard. The waves of combined energy were rushing over, and pleasantly overwhelming us as color, sound, light, touch, smell, and thought fused. We were off to a grrrrreat start. Top down and blowin free!

    “The deeper you go, the higher you fly. The higher you fly, the deeper you go. So, come on. Come on. Come on, it’s such a joy. Come on, it’s such a joy. Come on, let’s take it easy. Come on, let’s take it easy. Take it easy. Take it easy. Everybody’s got something to hide except for me and my monkey.”

    The Skylark never cruised so smoothly as we wound and levitated our way effortlessly through the gentle curves of the Hollywood Freeway. Suzette pulled her top off and shook her assets like a Classic Cat dancer in 1968. We had hot wired the grand design and were in the control room. The universe was infallible. Everything was in synch. No one could touch us. We were two steps ahead of time – Slipping through the cracks in the dimensions – Carnal and Fortissimo!

    “Your inside is out. Your outside is in. Your outside is in. Your inside it out. So, come on. Come on. Come on, it’s such a joy. Come on, it’s such a joy. Come on, let’s make it easy. Come on, let’s make it easy. Make it easy. Make it easy. Everybody’s got something to hide except for me and my monkey. Hey! Come on.”

    I could feel the beginnings of juiced mental vibe completely taking hold when I looked at her. She was nothing but innocence from the waist up. Suzette’s eyes and mind were enlivened. Communication was heightened beyond the ordinary. I thought how fantastic to be with this beautiful, fun loving, intelligent woman on this voyage. The LSD was great already, and getting better quickly. Thought transference was increasingly apparent. This stuff was a hell of a lot better than we thought it was gonna be. Happiness gushed.

    The Beatles faded into psychedelic Stones and it splattered out of the speakers in tangible Technicolor incandescence. We sang and added to the texture and hue of the air Vivid, Thick, Iridescent, Sound Sexual Desire pumping along with the eight cylinders of my machine Propelling through the chambers of our hearts!!

    “My obsession’s your possession – Every piece that I can get – My obsession’s your possession – My mouth is soaking wet .

    The freeway signs glowed with an inexplicable, amiable intensity, which was heretofore unknown. It was as if they were embracing us with their warm light and welcoming us to Hollywood. The power booster / equalizer under my dash was explosively shooting greens, yellows, oranges and reds out from its center to its sides, which could not be ignored as they magnified and cloaked us in their excitation.

    “It’s really bitchen, Hal …. everything’s alive …. energized … beautiful … breeeathing . smooooothly haaaappening …. its flowing so eeeasssy … I knoooow your mind …. and it’s F-ING FILTHY ….” Suzette laughed and kissed me. I felt her hot breasts against my skin while I continued to validate her telepathy.

    I just wanna meringue your lemon and crme your coconuts, she said laughing hysterically like the sweet slice she was.

    I explained to her that it felt like the two passenger tires of the car were in the front and the two drivers tires were in the rear. We laughed uncontrollably with tears welling in our eyes. It felt like the car was moving forward in the lane but driving diagonally. The front end angled upward toward the left side of the lane and the rear end angled downward toward the right side. We stayed between the lines but were moving, not sideways, but diagonally. It was a scream and we both were living it!! Our minds eye told each other so, while the instrument panel continued to be a thing of celestial wonder.

    Jesus Christ, what kind of tires do you have? Suzette asked hysterically.

    “Tiger Paws …” I remarked which caused Suzette to smirk her sly saucy smile.

    I was hopin you had Grabbers, but I suppose Tiger Paws will do me just fine. Lets burn some rubber in Hollywood!! she said in a laughing Mae West sort of way.

    Aye Aye captain, full speed ahead I said laughing as if talking through a bullhorn in the Yellow Submarine. You know, I had a couple of friends of mine drop acid and drive through acres and acres of an eight foot high corn field before.

    Suzette snickered, Whyd they do that?

    Because they thought it was the ocean, I said and we burst into laughter.

    Mott the Hooples simple rocker was now filling the air, Drivin Sister Rock N Roll She dont make with no brakes Drivin Sister Rock N Roll Shes an automobeat on the street – Drivin Sister Rock N Roll Shes much too much with the clutch

    You dig old Mott? I asked.

    Yeah, I was raised on that stuff the applesauce is pretty good too.

    One of the more simple pleasures and perfections on earth with cinnamon and pork chops.

    You hungry or something? Suzette laughed and then added in vaudevillian tones, Cause I got some apples you can sauce!

    No, no, .. since the acid kicked in, the last thing I wanna do is eat. Lets cruise the strip and get a room and take it from there.”

    Si, si senor, Suzette said sexily and playfully as the opening guitar licks of Santanas version of Black Magic Woman began its bewitching spell.

    We were going to be pulling off the 101 onto the Sunset Boulevard off ramp. Suzette undid her pants and began enjoying herself while also fondling her breasts. She tilted her seat back and began a journey into the mystic – A performance art piece for an audience of one like mind.

    If it wasnt for the acid, I would have never been able to drive. It helped me concentrate on many things at once – Like Cassady on the bus. Everything was vibrating in synchronicity. The mind juggled the rhythm of the sensory overload. The synapses were operating on rocket fuel – Super high octane clean burning sh*t.

    I merged onto Sunset Boulevard near the KTLA TV Broadcasting Center. Rolie and Carlos were overlapping their licks between Chepito and Carabellos voodoo. I flashed that nothing in the universe ever happens accidentally.

    Suzette was already moving with delight. Clad only in virtue a vision of beauty made supernatural by the magic of the fruit of the ergot. Her absolutely uninhibited expression of her aspatial relationship to the introduction of the song was something to behold. A real third eye mind-flash seductress!!

    I watched the music vibrate her sex in ripples of sonic titillation. The energy from her mid-section was tactile, visual. I could see her libido rising in quivering reds and purples. Man, this was some good sh*t!

    I knew Suzette had to be where I was at, and then some. I guarantee that even though her eyes were closed, there was a Glenn McKay Headlights show being projected on the back of her eyelids. Our brains were getting Martin Sharped! The streetlights and neon reverberated beautifully and intertwined with the music, the wind, the blood in our veins, the lust in our hearts, and the joy of total release freed tears from our eyes.

    Gregg Rolie came in singing, Got a black magic woman Got a black magic woman Got a black magic woman, got me so blind I cant see That shes a black magic woman and shes tryin to make a devil out of me.

    Suzette turned her head and impishly opened her eyes briefly smilingly saying Total mutual . Reciprocal amour Apple sauce

    I told her to tune into the percussion pulse and join the rhythms trance – To let Jose Chepito Areas stir our blood Reveal the muse Turn apples into sauce.

    Carlos and Gregg took their solo turns while Suzette and I followed the real leader of the band.* The acid helped us visualize the spatial arrangement of the sounds as recorded in the studio. This was a tongue rape suffocation song if there ever was one. All the elements perfectly set up for the big blasting great juju! Tongues of fire and flesh percolated and raped the air into divine suffocation. **

    I was somehow able to negotiate the Boulevard, still filled with the spirit of Cowboy Neal, while continuing to watch my sweet love gorge herself with sensual and cerebral overload. The car was piloted by sheer will and destiny as we slipped through dimensions diagonally like flavored exotic mesons into the chronosynclastic infundibulum.

    The music became immensely visual and palpable as inner space expanded. Suzette’s Fingerpalooza evolved into a powerful transfixion. A spiritual commingling of our thoughts and senses in heretofore un-experienced reverie.

    Jose Chepito Areas was GOD! The percussion brought about a transcendent state of duality. Of the carnal and the holy – All merging, with both of our total senses overlapping. Energy we could feel, see and taste. Suzette’s body writhed with the influx of knowledge. She was moaning in the permeation of pleasure, both earthly and celestial. Webs of sound, light and energy imbued her as she ramped up to the launch pad.

    “….I need you so black magic woman I can’t leave you alone,” finished the lyrics as Santana moved into their ferocious version of Gabor Szabo’s Gypsy Queen and I gave Suzette a hand. She began to hit a major O as the percussion resonated and rolled all over her body.

    She repeatedly called out the Lords various names followed with multiple affirmatives, four letter words, various commands to be ravished and other beautifully profane incoherent ecstatic ramblings which only culminating lovers reaching for a new zenith would fully understand and hallow. I watched her lovely face increasingly glow as wave after undulating wave lapped through her being her passion flower had bloomed like the rose color in her cheeks sensational inundation.

    Led Zeppelins Custard Pie revved up just as the abrupt feedback end of Gysy Queen made you expect, Oye Como Va. Suzette wound down with its copacetic syncopation. We had just passed Hollywood High and were now approaching the signal at La Brea and Sunset by the Seventh Veil and Tiny Naylors as Robert Plant began to sing.

    Drop down, baby, let your daddy see Drop down mama, just dream of me Well, my mama allow me to fool around all night long Well I may look like Im crazy, and I sure know right from wrong See me comin, throw your man out the door Aint no stranger, I been this way before Put on your night shirt and your morning gown You know by night Im gonna shake em on down Your custard pie, yeah, sweet and nice When you cut it, mama, save me a slice I like your custard pie I tear off a piece of your custard pie I tear off a piece of your custard pie I tear off a piece of your custard pie Now, drop down drop down drop down .

    Suzette basked in the gleam of the recent crest of sensations, tilted back in her seat alternately gazing at the sky and me. We were passing Schwabs and heading for the long gone Pandoras Box corner.

    She asked if I enjoyed her interpretive dance. Who wouldnt? Lord God Almighty, was I gonna give her my affirmation when we got to the hotel.

    The lights and the music continued to bombard the senses. I momentarily looked in the sky to see the moon becoming completely full. I briefly glanced at Suzette who was also transfixed on the bright sparkling which was made so novel and much more wonderful in our altered state.

    She adjusted her seat back up, gently kissed me on the cheek and bent down to pick up her top from the floor before putting it back on.

    Whew! This stuff is really good! she exclaimed, And what a perfect place to trip let’s cruise up the strip and see whos playing at the clubs before we check in.

    Youve been reading my mind all along, Suzette you didnt mind me giving you a hand back there did you? I asked devilishly.

    By this time the Zeppelin tune had completely faded out and Tom Petty & the Heartbreakers gently interceded, letting us both know that the cosmos leaves nothing to chance.

    Oh, no. I really wanted your fingers on the trigger. What took you so long?

    I dunno, I guess I just got kinda caught up in the view

    Tom Petty began singing and we listened like needy sinners receiving the gospel from the Messiah:

    White light cut a scar in the night Thin line of silver The night was all clouded with dreams The wind made me shiver Black and yellow pools of light Outside my window Luna come to me tonight I am a prisoner Luna glide down from the moon.

    While still absorbed in the wonderful, underrated Petty tune, we both giggled like trippers when the giant Bullwinkle appeared on our left by the Dudley Do-Right Emporium. The approaching spinning neon showgirl just below the Chateau Marmont was also something to behold with our super powered vision – The rock n roll billboards for Alan Parsons Project’s I Robot, Cheap Trick’s In Color, and Yes’ Going For the One, were equally amazing.

    I lit a cigarette for Suzette, feeling its warmth in my lungs and digging the glow of its cherry.

    You tore it up nicely ., she offered, as I gave her the smoke, then lit another for myself, while she exhaled her first drag. This songs incredible and sos this cigarette like warm god-like food for my lungs and blood mmmmm …Luna, for sure …

    Petty continued: The clouds are all silver and black Floating around me Luna come into my eyes Luna surround me With black and yellow pools of light Fall by my window Luna come to me tonight I am a prisoner Luna glide down from the moon.”

    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    * I have maintained for years that the Santana band was never the same after Jose Chepito Areas left.

    ** For more on the concept of tongue rape suffocation consult Jonathan Eisens book, Twenty Minute Fandangos and Forever Changes, a rock anthology. Or simply remember how you felt the first time you really experienced Side Two of the Beatles Abbey Road.

    [Thanks for the chronosynclastic infundibulum, "Hal." -- DA]

  • “Hal Linker”

    Hollywood and Beyond the Infinite The Third Monolith Paradise Flossed Part 3C – A City Of Two Tails

    Without speaking, we exchanged random transient snippets of thoughts and knowledge relating to the various goddesses of the moon Luna, Coyolxauhqui, Selene, Ix Chel, Diana Lucifera, Lona, Olapa, Artemis. Our mutual love and obsession for mythology and the occult was harmoniously revealed in our momentary, yet intensely profound eye-to-eye contact.

    We beamed revelations non-verbally, using photoreceptive visual perception as a gateway to the visual cortex, which could only in its current enraptured state, process, in nanoseconds, the haphazard, disparate stream of cogitation that had been transmuted into light wave energy. Cognition zipped through the eyes and blasted at the back of the skull. ZAPP!!!

    Wisdom flowed and was made manifest in bright radiant colors around the joyous wrinkles at the edges of our eyes. We plunged like yearning and awestruck initiates, peering curiously into realms of sage, spirit, sorcery and sex. And this deep, mutual, innermost warmth, brought about by our deliberate altering of our circadian rhythms, indicated a secure comfort which betrayed our nascent intimacy.

    Oh, my bright morning star, Suzette said in soft and rather dramatic tones as the music played. My sweet, sweet Lucifer. Keep shining. Your light next to mine.

    I knew instantly what she meant and it confirmed the extra sensory precursors to her words. There was nothing satanic about the reference. The ancient Romans called the morning star (Venus), Lucifer. Literally, Lucifer was the bearer of light. She knew that I fully understood this, along with her implication that she was imaginatively assuming the role of Luna. Thought transference was abundant and effective. There was no devil in the details.

    While in bed at my home the night before, Suzette told me she had recently completed a course on Greek and Roman mythology at Chico State. The subject was near and dear to my heart. I actually got out of bed and grabbed a few related books from my shelves and we read passages from them in the nude before idealistically commingling into a fantastical attempt at god-like sexual utopia.

    The music continued: The clouds are all silver and black Floating around me Luna come into my eyes Luna surround me With black and yellow pools of light Fall by my window Luna come to me tonight I am a prisoner Luna glide down from the moon

    With the Petty tune repeating its second verse and the lysergic full-moonlight gracing and illuminating her long, flowing, windswept, blonde curls, Suzette had joined the ranks of the mythological deities incarnate. There was no choice but to kiss, worship and adore her.

    I quickly pulled the car into The Source parking lot and we caressed and kissed passionately for 10 everlasting minutes. Our hearts beat powerfully into one another, as head-to-toe we became one mighty intermixed erogenous zone. This love was blazing. Lust and desire engulfed us. Libidinous primal thirst begged for quenching. We steamily melted.

    We trembled in each others’ arms, minds electrified, momentarily oblivious to the bustling world around us, pausing with shivers down our collective backbone as we considered the ardent inferno lit with our melded tongues, lips, bodies, psyches. An overture to the inevitable oncoming Magnum Opus – A transcendent tantalizer for the festive entree. Jerichos trumpets before the shouts! Seismic, craving vibrations presaging The Big One!!!!

    Lets bone, already, I said breathlessly, with my usual eloquence, as I started the car up and began to merge onto Sunset near Carneys, Lord youre such a f**kin turn on!”

    Suzette smiled and traced the obvious bulge in my pants with her fingers as she leaned in and softly kissed my lips, and then my neck. She started unbuttoning my Levis while she quietly said, I just want to be with you sooo bad. Mmmm .. I cant wait, baby . Mmmm, . yeah.

    The Sunset Tower and the Sunset Plaza Hotel blurred by on our left as we took in absurd billboards of sensually clad women making love to giant liquor bottles, between Luke Skywalker, Han Solo, Smokey and the Bandit and an enormous, maniacal Young Ted promoting the spread of Cat Scratch Fever. The humor and overall cheesiness of the era was magnified significantly and grotesquely by Dr. Hoffmans discovery.

    The live version of the Jefferson Airplanes Plastic Fantastic Lover erupted in percolating photo-voltaic expression as the equalizer lights wildly exploded with delight. Suzette now had me in her gentle love grip. She passionately kissed my neck, further opening the genies vase. She knew exactly what she was doing to me. She rubbed it and made an obvious wish as Jorma, Jack and Spencer furthered our love with their incendiary interaction and blessed its pointed little head.

    Youve got Marianne Faithfull lips, I said ecstatically as she held me intimately and smiled widely. Perfectly plump and luscious. Hot and wet. Born to entice and wail. So sexy. And delicious. Cmon, give me another taste, babe.

    Suzette brushed my hair aside with her hand, gently kissing and licking my ear into which she uttered, I love you so much I just wanna eat you up, my sweet baby. Oh yesssss . Last night was so bitchen that I wanted to swallow you up, you know, . It was so intense of a come that I wanted you to somehow pound yourself all the way into my body we merged so damn perfectly and in my mind I wanted you to completely enter me and live in my skin Do you understand what Im trying to say?

    I assumed her question was rhetorical when she breathed heavily into my ear before lusciously and passionately French kissing it. Suzette and her perfect lips then went to work on my neck, with her warm hands verifying the desired throbbing results in my Levis.

    Ooh yeah, dont stop . I muttered under my breath as she cast me completely under her spell. She obliged as Marty Balin and the Airplane flew low and loud over the Sunset Strip.

    Her neon mouth with the blinkers-off smile is nothing but electric sign. You could say she has an individual style. Shes part of a colorful time.

    Now, the entertainment biz billboards and landmarks blurrily accelerated past like a rhythmic Chuck Braverman stroboscopic time capsule. The Riot House, UFO Lights Out, The Kentucky Fried Movie, The Comedy Store, Styx Grand Illusion, Roger Moore as James Bond: The Spy Who Loved Me, a gigantic semi-nude Joey Heatherton hawking The Happy Hooker Goes To Washington, Dinos, The Tiffany with the midnight and 2:00AM Rocky Horror showings posted on the marquee, The Marlboro Man, Ben Franks, Orca, The Babys Broken Heart, The Rescuers, Pepes*, The Last Remake Of Beau Geste, Tower Records with images of Foghat Live, Iggy Pop Lust For Life, Doobies Livin On a Fault Line, Jay Ferguson Thunder Island, Firefall Luna Sea, Grateful Dead Terrapin Station, Mink De Ville, Kiss Love Gun, Ry Cooder Show Time!, Cherry Hill High, Licorice Pizza, The Classic Cat, Turners Liquor, Grand Theft Auto, Filthy McNastys, Sun Bee Liquor, New York, New York, Power Burger, Bad News Bears Breaking Training and The Whisky a Go Go whose marquee read: The Runaways; The Weirdos!!!!

    You see whos at the Whisky? I asked Suzette as she pulled herself away from me and glanced at the marquee.

    We gotta go, she said emphatically while bursting into laughter, Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-ch Cherry Bomb!

    I know, I said laughing, I havent seen em since they played the Civic with Cheap Trick on April Fools. I have a friend whos obsessed with them. He used to drag me along to their early shows. Hes friends with Kari Krome.

    Cool, yeah, I saw them at the Goldenwest Ballroom in Norwalk before they had a record deal, Suzette exclaimed. Lets get our room and come back here.

    Yeah, I could dig a little bit of Cherie Currie prancing around in a skimpy negligee, tonight, I said lasciviously. How bout you?

    Well, yeah . But Im not sure how you meant that you know, she said somewhat puzzled as we cruised past the Roxy and the Rainbow. I suppose if I was a switch-hitter Id be attracted to her, but Im not.

    You just dont know it yet, I said laughing gleefully and teasingly as Gazzarris came into view. Theres at least two constants with chicks that Ive discovered over the years in my vast experience. One: They all love downers and ludes. Two: Theyre all lesbians in some way shape or form. So face it, either you just havent admitted it or you havent gotten there yet.

    Jeez, youre so insightful, Suzette laughed mockingly, knowing I wasnt completely serious. Tell me what other truths you have found about women, oh wise one?

    Well, grasshopper, ….. theyre like musical instruments, I said pulling into Gil Turners Fine Wine & Spirits. They all have their own idiosyncrasies, peculiarities, feels and tonal quality. But even the humblest ones make beautiful music in the hands of a talented player with the fire on his fingertips.

    Youre crackin me up, babe, Suzette laughed blushingly as I parked and turned the car off. But you may be right. Though I dont think the reverse is true. Some men are incapable of making beautiful music no matter how talented the player.

    Agreed. Another thing about women that Ive found to be largely true is that what they tell others they want from a man, isnt really what they want. I know what they really want, but wont necessarily cop to. Its my mission to make that basic self-evident truth resoundingly clear to them, I chuckled as we got out of the car making our way into the store, still tripping, but momentarily and conveniently ebbing, as we had to put on a public face. Whats your poison?

    I could dig a touch of the bubbly, Suzette smiled adoringly. Thatd be romantic.

    Champagne it is! And were gonna go first class all the way. It just so happens Im loaded tonight so lets get a couple bottles of Dom! I declared.

    You dont have to do that, babe .

    No, I really want to, I interrupted, Ive never had the stuff before and want to find out what great champagne tastes like. Well be a couple of Moet et Chandon cherries in the hotel, ha ha. And while we’re at it, lets get some of those tasty and pricey import cigarettes.

    And fine chocolates, Suzette interjected as she began surveying the display in Gil Turners. Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we drink Andre Cold Duck in Chino, ha ha.

    I laughed, telling her I would never stoop so low as Andre. I walked over to some baskets of huge sexy looking strawberries and surreptitiously placed a large juicy one in my mouth without chewing it. I joined Suzette at the chocolates where I kissed her and passed the enormous strawberry into her mouth. She laughed and gagged a bit as she accepted the sweet and sexy gift.

    We bellowed exuberantly as we trippily shopped through the store. I somewhat facetiously told her that I got my kicks watching women pick out and handle fruits and vegetables in the grocery store. We laughed till it literally hurt.

    The fluorescent lights were super intense and we could hear them buzzing much louder than average human beings. It was like being in a giant Radarange and getting crispy critterized. But in a hilarious way.

    Eventually we brought our goods to the counter, which consisted of two bottles of 1970 Dom Perignon, a designer tin of Dutch bittersweet Droste chocolate, a large box of Godiva Chocolatier nut and caramels, a pack of Players cigarettes, a pack of du Maurier cigarettes, and two champagne glasses labeled Bride and Groom.

    The rather dapper clerk seemed amused at our demeanor obviously unaware that we were frying our brains out on a hallucinogenic substance. We both found his uncanny resemblance to the younger Ronald Colman more than a bit spooky. It must have been the acid, but when he spoke the similarities with the revered actor grew even more creepy. His somewhat lushy speech echoed that of Sydney Carton in a Tale Of Two Cities.

    My, my, love is in the air, he said delighted in his rich Colman voice as he rang up the champagne glasses. Did you two just get married, perhaps?

    No, no we just liked the glasses for their beauty and irony, Suzette laughed as she tried to keep herself reasonably together and then waxed irresistibly playful. We just met in the parking lot a minute ago. I had a fight with my husband and I told him I was gonna screw the first guy I met. My horoscope said this would happen.

    The clerk looked a bit puzzled and uncomfortable, not knowing whether Suzette was putting him on or not. She was a good little actress. I left the counter to fetch one of the small baskets of humongous sexy strawberries. When I did, I placed another one in my mouth as before. I put the basket on the counter and French kissed Suzette another sweet gift from the garden. She choked, delighted, then drooled strawberry juice from the side of her mouth. We cracked up.

    I paid the astronomical tab and we grabbed our goodies. We walked out like two twinkle-eyed star-crossed kids leaving the malt shop to go make out on Mulholland Drive.

    Suzette couldnt resist, so as she walked out she began delivering the famous line, It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done .

    The Ronald Colman clerk cut in as we reached the exit, It is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known.

    ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    * Pepe’s occupied the building which I believe is currently the Red Rock Caf. Earlier in the year 1977 Hadla had accompanied me to Hollywood for a gig my band had. We ate at Pepes. Hadla ordered spaghetti. Apparently she was used to having spaghetti at Vinces where they have glass table containers full of parmesan cheese. She grabbed the container on Pepes dim lit table and liberally poured sugar all over her noodles. It was a very memorable moment!

  • “Hal Linker”

    Hollywood and Beyond the Infinite The Third Monolith Paradise Flossed Part 3D Degustibus Non Disputandum Est

    We giggled into the parking lot and I quickly skipped like a child around the front end of the car to the passenger side. I opened Suzettes door for her, while holding the bag with the champagne bottles in my other hand. I motioned for her to have a seat as I said, Mademoiselle?

    She got in the car smiling at my playfulness while she carried the bag with the chocolate, strawberries and cigarettes. And I thought chivalry was dead .. Merci monsieur!

    I closed her door then leaned down and kissed her rapturously. Then I smiled and winked, Voulez-vous . tentatrice?

    Suzette laughed saying, Laissez les bon tempts rouler!

    F***in-A I joyously responded as I rounded the car and got in. She kissed my neck like Vampira.

    I pulled the car out of Gil Turners and back onto Sunset past The Celebrity Club where Pat Collins, The Hip Hypnotist, held court. Then I made a left into the Cock N Bull parking lot.

    What are you doing? Suzette wondered while lighting a Marlboro, God, cigarettes are so unbelievably good when youre on acid!

    Im gonna run inside for a minute. I know someone who works here. I wanna say hi and get a couple of cold ginger beers. You wanna come in with me? I said hurriedly.

    Nah, Ill wait out here and find another tape to listen to, she said while exhaling her drag and grabbing the tape box.

    Cool, Ill only be a minute, I said as I ran towards the entrance, I promise!

    Once inside the dimly lit Olde English styled restaurant and pub, somewhat reminiscent of the Five Crowns in Corona Del Mar, in that its well-endowed waitresses had those extremely low-cut eye-popping Renaissance Faire type of dresses, I inquired as to whether Angel was working. The maitre de said yes.

    She was a gorgeous stripper who had been in Hollywood since the late 1960s. I got to know her because she would hang out at the various rock clubs on the strip when she got off work at one of her three jobs, either at the Cock N Bull, The Classic Cat or The Body Shop.

    Angel was good people and I always looked her up if I was in the area. We were like family and knew many of the same people who were Hollywood regulars and friends. I found her most interesting and a truly decent human being.

    I flagged her down as she was coming out of the bar with a drink order. She smiled and motioned for me to wait at the bar for her.

    How you doin, you sexy bastard! she said as she returned to the bar with another drink ticket and gave me a huge hug, How come you dont have a cute little girl with you? Jesus how much acid did you take? Your pupils are huge!!

    Yeah, Im trippin heavy. Ive got a girl waiting outside in the car. You have to meet her. Shes really plugged in! I said, I just ran in here real quickly to get a couple of ginger beers. Were getting a room and going to the Whisky tonight. I only have time to say hi, thats it. But, if youre not too tired after work, stop by the Whisky. Hey, whats with the pickle in your cleavage, or is that a cucumber?

    Oh, Jesus, Ive got this old middle-aged fat pervert whos makin an ass of himself in front of his wife and another couple. Believe me, this pickle is his idea. He says they do that at the Renaissance Faire, or some crap. I figure Id humor the dildo since hes payin the tab, but Im beginning to think that it was mistake Hey Dave! Give this guy two ginger beers on the house!

    Thanks, Angel, I said, knowing that trying to talk my way out of her benevolent hospitality was useless.

    Hey, Hal, why dont you grab a couple of Moscow Mules for the road too! Angel smiled, Dave! Make him two stiff Mules too. Look honey, I gotta run, maybe Ill see ya later. I love you. Take care.

    Love you too, I said as I grabbed her ass. She turned and smiled with a twinkle in her eye which betrayed her scolding head shake.

    I had the bartender put the ginger beers in a brown paper bag and I carried the two drinks, which were in these cool copper coated mugs, very carefully out to the car in the other hand.

    Suzette was still going through the tape box when I got back to the car and asked, “What’s that stuff?”

    Moscow Mules, I said as I handed her one, They gave em to us on the house. These mugs are cool!!

    Excuse my ignorance, but whats a Moscow Mule? Suzette asked gleefully as I made my way into the car.

    You never heard of a Moscow Mule? . Well, they invented them here at this restaurant sometime in the 1940s. Its vodka, lime juice and ginger beer. They poured these pretty stiff for us.

    That doesnt sound very good, but here goes, she said as she poured a bit down the hatch, Hey! . Not bad!!!

    Yeah, they make their own ginger beer, too, which is whats in the bag. Did you find a tape yet? I asked.

    No, its tough because theyre all custom made and a lot of them dont have the tunes written on the insert cards.

    I do that on purpose. That keeps the element of surprise for my passengers. I know whats on them by the silly names I give them

    Like, Le Petite Mort? Suzette gushed, And Degustibus Non Disputandum Est or Honi Soit Qui Mal Y Pense or Guacamole Vomit?

    I laughed, Yeah, I know theyre dumb names, but its just an identification so that I have a frame of reference to remember whats on that particular cassette. The Guacamole Vomit title refers to the fact that when I was actually putting the tape together, there were three women, all friends of each other, visiting my home and one of them got sick and crawled into my living room and vomited what looked like thick green guacamole behind a large chair. I had to preserve that memory, ha ha ha.

    So what do you recommend? Suzette asked, Please dont say Guacamole Vomit! Lets get flowing again!

    Play Aquarelle, I said as I lit a smoke and started the car, Its mellow, but psychedelic in a different way. Oh, by the way, I got a cheesy little portable in the trunk too, that we can use in the motel. Gotta have tunes, right?

    Damn tootin These are really pretty good and refreshing! Suzette said emphatically after having another sip of her Mule.

    We pulled out, heading east back down the Strip. We could now let go again and re-submit to the acid. Suzette inserted the cassette. Santo & Johnnys Sleep Walk began playing.

    Greer Garson used to dig those drinks and she used to order them right there, at the Cock N Bull, during the Forties. So youre in great company! I said smiling at Suzette.

    I sure am, she said suggestively as she fondled my crotch, Thanks for being so great! Whats that movie with Greer Garson about WWII in England? I saw it on the late late show, with Ralph Williams interrupting every 10 minutes, but she was great!

    Yeah, she was a gorgeous woman too, .. That was Mrs. Miniver. I think she won an Oscar for that one! She had so much class! She quit the movies, I think, she must be in her seventies, or something.

    Goodbye Mr. Chips, thats another one of hers, Suzette flashed.

    Right, . with Robert Donat another classic! I said enthusiastically, Youve seen a couple of her best. And man do I think she was beautiful!

    You love and appreciate women, though, like beautiful art

    Yeah, you picked up on that already?, Im an art lover alright! You know the last thing I ever saw Greer Garson in was on TV. She was on an episode of The Virginian of all things! But it wasnt called the Virginian anymore. It was called The Men from Shiloh and it starred Stewart Granger and Lee Majors as the regulars. The series was sputtering out. Greer Garson guested as this very liberated western woman attorney and she absolutely stole the show. And, for her age, she still looked pretty damned good!

    Lee Majors was on The Virginian? Wasnt he on The Big Valley? Uhhh, . Heath Barkley? Suzette questioned.

    Yeah, he was on The Big Valley, but this was after the Big Valley and before he became bionic. It was The Virginian but they changed the name to The Men From Shiloh. It was probably the last year the show was on. But I wouldnt know because I stopped watching TV altogether around that time.

    TV sucks anyway, mind control for the asses . Suzette stated matter-of-factly as she began whistling along with Santo & Johnny.

    I dont know if it sucks, altogether, but its something you do if youre not living life to its fullest. You know its crazy, most of the very best times of my life are not documented with photographs. It seems like in those great episodes, that all concerned were having way too good of a time to be bothered with taking pictures, I laughed.

    You know, that makes sense, its like little girls keeping diaries before their social life is even a reality, and then once it kicks in, Pooof! Who has time to write in the damned thing anymore! she chuckled as the Pyramids Penetration began playing.

    Yeah, thats valid to a degree. But the bad and hurtin times can trigger some more reflective thoughts and result in sometimes beautiful forms of expression. A lot of art is born of pain and suffering. Oh jeez, let’s not even . Hey! Naphthalene! Hey, Raven! I hollered across the street, Raven, you bitch! Suzette, I know this chick over there. Hey Raven!

    “Brick’! You f***er! Raven yelled, more than a bit slurred in front of Gazzarris. She was calling me the pet name she gave me nearly a year before when I first met her walking on the Strip and gave her a ride. What in Gods name is happening, baby!

    You going to the Runaways? I yelled.

    Does Johnny Thunders shoot up?!?! Is Lance Loud a queer?!?! she replied, sounding like she had a combo wine and ludes buzz and charging directly into traffic on Sunset without even looking.

    Okay, cool, then, look, well see you later. This is Suzette, I said as we brought the car to a complete stop in the middle of Sunset amid a few honking cars, Well catch up to you later, alright?

    Okay, Brick . Oh I almost forgot, tomorrow night, man, its gonna be happening at the Masque the Controllers and Needles & Pins. Tell some people! Nice meeting you Suzzzzzettte, Raven slurred.

    Dont forget to eat some food, Naphthalene, I cautioned in a fatherly tone, You have to have something in your stomach when you party.

    Its cool. Dont worry, Brick, Im heading to Power Burger right now to scarf, she slurred as we began moving forward, Everythings under control, man.

    Raven was probably around 16, but shed been coming to Hollywood for the past few years. Her parents were Beverly Hills residents, supposedly. Although I heard someone say she was living with her grandparents.

    The first time I met her she was walking down Sunset wearing this gorgeous full fur coat which was probably made in the Thirties. She was really out of it. She had a bit of a downer problem to say the least. She was so young and messed up, that I thought she would fall easy prey to sickos. So I picked her up and took her to Ben Franks and got her sobered up on some coffee and food. She smelled like mothballs – Probably because the fur was stored in them prior to her putting it on.

    I called her Naphthalene or Raven because she had natural raven black hair and porcelain skin and initially smelled like mothballs. She was a smart kid but kind of messed up psychologically. I took her under my wing on that occasion and since then we had run into each other on the Strip many times. We were just friends, although she did give me head once under the table at the Starwood during a Quick / Dogs show.

    I explained all this to Suzette who found it somewhat fascinating, especially the reason for the nickname Brick, which she found amusing. Then I turned down Holloway off of Sunset.

    Hey! Where are we going now? Suzette inquired.

    Were gonna hit a secondhand clothing shop down here. Im gonna buy you some threads to wear tonight. You cant be wearing the same clothes all day long, babe, I said as I kissed her cheek softly, But we gotta hurry. I hate shoppin. You pick it out and if I approve, then well buy it.

    Youre f***in crazy! Suzette laughed as we entered the hip used clothing store and hurriedly began perusing the racks.

    Being myself, I walked straight over to the leather section, Hey Suzette! Check this out! Do you think you could fit in this number?

    She walked over to me and held the dress against her body. I could tell she liked it. It was a little leather dress that zipped all the way up the front.

    Theres a dressing room over there. Try it on. If it fits, I gotta see you in it, I said, I think youd look really sexy in that thing.

    She went to the dressing room and it fit like a glove – skin tight. It looked tremendous with that big-ringed zipper only zipped to just below her breasts. It was as if it was made for her!! Like Cinderellas slipper.

    Sold! I said, hardly able to contain myself, Jesus, I dont think I realized until now what a gorgeous set of long legs you have.

    Thanks, glad you approve, Suzette said sexily, Cant wait to wrapem around you again.

    Man, you look fantastic! Let me grab a new shirt for myself too. Hurry, get back into your street clothes.

    I grabbed the first stupid Hawaiian shirt in my size and walked to the register. Suzette joined me with her leather dress in her hands. The clerk threw in a necklace that Suzette was looking at for me. It had the Rolling Stones Warhol tongue logo and a coke spoon on it. It was something to hang next to my puka shells.

    We both hurriedly jumped back in the car and I headed down Holloway finally making a left on the steep Olive Drive. The Pyramids Penetration gave way to the Don Eliis Orchestra tune from his Autumn album which Suzette immediately recognized.

    The Pussy Wiggle Stomp! Wow! I sure didnt see that coming! Suzette beamed as she fondled my crotch, I was in jazz ensemble in high school and we played this stuff. I played the sax and really dug Klemmer at the time.

    Man, was this chick scoring points all over the frickin place! Why the hell did she have to be leaving for Chico in a few days??

    So, do you dig Dexter Gordon and Sonny Rollins? I asked.

    Well, yeah, you know, all the main guys that play sax like The Bird, Desmond, Getz, Coltrane, Eddie Harris, Eric Dolphy, shit, even Boots Randolph and King Curtis were cool by me! Suzette confessed.

    Yeah, Coltrane was bad! Giant Steps is a mother! I beamed.

    “Yeah, thats really nice. I even like Bowie. What he played on Sorrow was kinda nice. Simple but effective, Suzette admitted as she continued adoring my crotch with her warm hands.

    I turned right onto Sunset from Olive. The Sunset Plaza Hotel quickly came into view. I pulled the Skylark up to the curb at the front door.

    Alright Brick, lets truck our fubbles away! Suzette said in happy wide-eyed anticipation.

    You want it nice and smooth or nice and rough? I whispered in her ear before kissing it passionately.

    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

  • “Hal Linker”

    Hollywood and Beyond the Infinite The Third Monolith Paradise Flossed Part 3E In Quest Of Hierogamy

    Suzette turned and beamed. Then she slapped me forcefully across the face. She bit her lower lip slightly as she continued to smile wantonly.

    Get the message, babe? she lewdly chuckled.

    We fell into a series of amazing kisses, carving deep blue ripples in the tissues of our mind. Suzettes expressive lips and tongue were fluent in the language of Aphrodisia. Our union was that of sacred servants in quest of hierogamy.

    While our torrid tongues lit the fire in the loins, Don Ellis’ “The Pussy Wiggle Stomp” undulated and infiltrated in 7/4 waves, like a Ken-L-Ration commercial run amok. The wildly tangential variations on My Dogs Better Than Your Dog becoming more absurdly apropos with each succeeding note. We panted and begged for each other. More impressive tricks were in store. Each the others master and pet. Collared with license.

    Suzette came up for air and smiled that gorgeous smile of hers. Those lips! Those pearly whites! Those bright, joyful and wicked eyes! My god she was stunning! Love, lust, desire and, above all, happiness were written all over her radiant countenance.

    You know, you have one of the most beautiful and genuine smiles Ive ever seen, I said euphoric and somewhat breathless, I just cant stop staring at your sexy lips and eyes.

    You mean my Marianne Faithfull lips, dont you? she laughed.

    Yeah, I just said that cuz I think your lips are really full and sexy, like hers, I said chuckling a bit, Facially, you kind of remind me of Marianna Hill too! Do you know who that is? I think shes really sexy. Sometimes shes blonde but mostly brunette. Youre the blonde version.

    I dont know who she is, Suzette admitted.

    Take my word for it, comparing you with her is a compliment to the max. Shes mainly a TV actress. But she was in High Plains Drifter with Clint Eastwood as a blonde who he understandably ravished. I first saw her in an episode of ‘The Wild Wild West.’ She was Dr. Loveless gorgeous accomplice in villainy, named Belladonna! You really remind me more of her than Marianne Faithfull. Ms. Hill had those luscious full lips too. Sweet, moist lips . Like yours.

    MLady, like yours Suzette sang mischievously smiling to the tune of David Crosbys Guinnevere, Belladonna, . I like that.

    I leaned in very softly and tenderly kissed her lips, barely touching them with my tongue to outline their delectable pink ambrosia. Suzette reciprocated.

    You know, youve got one hell of an ornery charismatic smile yourself, Suzette said dreamily, And nice full pink sexy lips. Theyre perfect!

    Why, thank ya maam, I said playfully feigning a southern accent and smiling in gratitude as she kissed me again.

    No seriously, man, your facial features and lips are like a cross between Jim Morrison and Peter Lewis, she said earnestly.

    Peter Lewis? I said surprised, You know who Peter Lewis is?

    Yeah, he was the cutest guy in Moby Grape, Suzette blushingly laughed, And that was a cute group!

    Im surprised, I thought they were a little before your time .

    I have older brothers and sisters

    Jim Morrison and Peter Lewis, huh, hmmm

    Yeah, youre a good lookin guy! Suzette exclaimed, When I first saw you at the Midway I knew I had to have you

    Ditto, I confessed, But you immediately struck me as a similar soul when you sat down with us. It was more than just your looks . Though the first impression was certainly your physicality.

    Uh huh, . I felt comfortable with you right away! You know, youve got a little bit of Jeff Beck and Robert Plant in you too .

    Well, I cant see that at all

    The way you hang in your Levis is very sexy … It reminds me of Jeff Beck. I like guys who dont wear underwear

    I gave up tight whites in Junior High for boxers. By the time I was in High School underwear seemed useless, I said proudly and laughed.

    Yeah, like panty hose! Jeez! I cant see why girls bother with that nonsense, Suzette said disdainfully.

    Hey, Mr. Mojo Risin wants another kiss, I said playfully.

    Suzette glanced down at my crotch lustfully saying, Which Mr. Mojo Risin are we talkin about here?

    I put my hand on the back of her neck and pulled her toward me so that we could kiss deeply again. The Don Ellis tune wound down into George Gershwins Rhapsody In Blue (the 1976 version done with Michael Tilson Thomas, the Columbia Jazz band and, courtesy of an old piano roll, the late Gershwin, himself). The music seemed to excite and inspire Suzette. We carried on for much of the beginning of the composition.

    Jesus Christ, I dig the **** out of you! she said overwhelmed and gave me a deep kiss, Lets transcend time and space by loving ourselves into light!

    She got out of the car and sprang up the steps to the Sunset Plaza Hotel.

    Still thinking about what a heavy thing she had just said, I attempted to follow her quickly, forgetting that my pants were undone and Charley Pride was hanging out.

    When I stood outside my car door my pants dropped to my knees. I was full mast in the breeze just as, what looked to be, a bunch out-of-town high school girls drove by in daddys 1977 Oldsmobile Delta 88 Royale, honking, laughing and screaming out the windows Oooh Babay!

    It was embarrassing and Suzette delighted, falling to her knees in hilarity at the entrance of the hotel. I hurriedly buttoned up, stuffing my startled and receding boner back in my pants. I ran to the front of the hotel and joined Suzette in her total collapse from laughter. Both on our knees laughing so much it hurt. Tears of insane mirth rolled down our cheeks.

    God, .. the look on your face when you realized your pants had fallen down was priceless. There you were bare-assed with your hardon directing traffic and you turned and gave me the most Uh-Oh look Ive ever seen in my life, she guffawed, Oh man, Im gonna die! Im really gonna die.

    Somewhat recovered, I lifted her into my arms, carrying her over the threshold of the hotel entrance and setting her down on the lobby floor. I began to head for the check-in counter while the ebullient Suzette did three cartwheels across the lobby floor.

    She spied a Baby Grand piano in the lobby and ran towards it and quickly sat on the piano bench. She began playing Spindrifter, a Nicky Hopkins tune from the old Quicksilver Messenger Service LP, What About Me. Her playing was magnificent! The girl had the spark!

    I listened and looked back at her in smiling amazement. She was really good!

    Suzette continued to play beautifully as I attempted to act like a normal human being for the guy at the check-in counter. He was a diminutive dude in his late-thirties. He was a foreigner and I was trying to figure out his accent.

    Hey, what country are you from originally, I asked him unable to put my finger on it.

    I am Hungarian, he replied.

    His complexion wasnt olive, it was slightly green and kind of reptilian. It was probably the acid, though, because he also bore a lot of physical similarities to Peter Lorre.

    As he processed the check-in, his arms seemed to get shorter and shorter. Everything he was saying sounded so much like Peter Lorre that I wasnt really thinking about the words he was uttering. I was tripping on his shrinking arms and speech patterns, but not the words, all the while looking like a blissed out Manson follower and digging Suzettes background ambience.

    I said, is a room on the first floor okay with you, Mr. Linker? he repeated rather impatiently for god knows the how many-eth time, Its all we have right now. I warn you it may be noisy. The pool is right outside your door.

    Oh, excuse me, yeah, . thatll be fine, I said coming back to some semblance of reality, Can you tell me when they got the piano in here? Ive been here quite a bit and never noticed it before.

    That piano is only here temporarily. It was brought in this week for a rock group who was staying here, he said as his arms began taking on the look of those of a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

    A rock group stayed here at the Best Western? I said in disbelief still amazed at his green flesh, Do you know who it was?

    No sir, Im sorry but I dont know. Perhaps you can ask the concierge on the day shift. Is that Mrs. Linker at the piano? Shes quite good! the Lorre lookalike said.

    Yeah, I said, maintaining the fiction, Were both musicians.

    Well as long as you are both musicians, you may as well enjoy the piano. It will be removed after the weekend, he said.

    Suzette finished with Spindrifter and did a few cartwheels on her way to the check-in counter. I was signing stupid forms and giving Peter Lorre wads of cash that I was pulling out of my front pockets.

    Here are your keys, Mr. Linker, your room is on the first floor. Take the elevator down two floors and it will be to your left. If there is anything that you need please let me know. A pleasure to meet you madame, your playing is remarkable, he said as he handed us the keys and smiled, admiring Suzettes looks.

    As we walked away from the check-in Suzette began laughing hysterically as she said,That guy looks just like Peter ****in Lorre! Ha ha ha.

    Might I remind you, Mr. Spade, that you might have the Falcon, but we certainly have you, I laughed doing my best Peter Lorre impression.

    Yeah, I know, I couldnt figure out if he was Morocco Mole or Rocky Rococco, ha ha. Cmon, lets get the goodies out of the car and rrrrock and rrrrroll, she said libidinously just before doing an aerial cartwheel.

    We grabbed the stuff out of the Skylark which we left parked at the curb with the top down. We went down the elevator to floor one and began installing ourselves.

    I put the champagne on ice and hooked up the Ampex portable cassette / stereo. Suzette placed the candies and cigs on the night stands.

    I asked old Peter Lorre back there for a room with a king sized bed. This is a California King! I said with delight as I filled each of us a glass of champagne.

    More room to play, Suzette winked suggestively before downing her champagne. Then she stood on the bed and began doing some trampoline moves.

    Man, you sure are energetic, I laughed pouring her another glass.

    Im happy and high and mighty, she giggled, drank and then taunted, How bad do you want it, Brrrick?

    I dove on the bed and tackled her and we wrestled around playfully as I started to undo her pants. She broke free and headed out the door laughing hysterically like a little kid playing tag. She dove into the pool.

    If you want it, youd better take it, shake it and make it, Suzette lustfully baited from the water.

    I was right behind her and dove in. We playfully swam and pursued each other, eventually ending up on the low end of the pool in each others arms. We kissed passionately as she wrapped her legs around my hips. It was ecstatic.

    Then she slapped my face as hard as she could and laughed as she made her way quickly from the pool and began running through the courtyard.

    I wasnt gonna let her down. I pursued her like a greyhound chased a bunny tail lure at the Palm Beach Kennel Club.

    Suzette was a fast sprinter and I was having trouble gaining on her. She ran around the courtyard to the other side of the pool and dodged into the hotel laundry room.

    I cornered her there as she was laughingly removing her clothes and tossing them into the dryer. I did the same. We embraced in the nude.

    Suzette then got on her knees and gave me a five-fold kiss, consecrating herself to me like Mary Magdalene wished she had done to Jesus. When she rose to her feet to kiss my chest and lips, I felt blessed like never before. It was powerful and mutual.

    I followed her lead and jumped naked into the pool swimming across to the other side and then running into our room. Once inside, I continued the pursuit, eventually grabbing her by the hair and then kissing her passionately. It was a sensational turn-on!

    Then, once again, Suzette slapped me with a huge knowing smile on her face, noting my full arousal. I slapped her back and took her in my arms and threw her on the bed.

    As I moved toward her and the bed, she began kicking at me like a feisty little wench. I grabbed her by the feet and pulled her towards me. She was loving it!

    Im gonna start with your toes, I said taking control, confident that her sweet submission was assured by the willing compliance in her eyes.

    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

  • “Hal Linker”

    Hollywood and Beyond the Infinite The Third Monolith Paradise Flossed Part 3F Incipit Vita Nova (Steak and Lobster To Go)

    When Suzette and I got to the Whisky, the Runaways were already on stage. We could hear them playing a new tune wed never heard before as we dreamily made our way, arm in arm, across the Clark and Sunset crosswalk.

    We were smokin a hash-laced joint as we approached the corner and Joan Jetts vocals were quite discernible:

    Blue-skinned sleeping boys Man youre looking wasted Greasy wheels, streets of steel No tellin what ya tasted Good guys, bad guys Doesnt really matter Punch drunk, high on junk Sad you are so shattered – Wasted lives of wasted drives wasted days and wasted nights Wasted this and wasted that Wasted is where youre at.

    Suzette had a pint of Bacardi 151 and a couple of Cokes in her purse. We had just bought them at Turners Liquor at Sunset and Larrabee. The acid was wearing off but we were still enjoying the lights, the trails and the sparkling effects. Plus we were still in major afterglow from some terrific anointing and balling back at the hotel.

    There was a black cat hawking sugar cube acid for three bucks a hit on the sidewalk next to the Whisky. I had seen this guy before, both here and at the Starwood. All he was really selling was C6-H12-O6.

    One of these days someones gonna call in your number, I said laughing at him as I snuffed the joint between my thumb and index finger and put the big roach in my Marlboro hard pack, That ****s bunk!

    No man, its LSD-25, pure acid! Trip city!! You wanna get psychedelicized, this is the ****!! the charlatan claimed evangelistically.

    Yeah, right, I said disgusted, And youll be long gone when everybody finds out they got burned.

    Guys like you give spades a bad name! Suzette said vigorously.

    Hey man, sssshhh, keep it cool, youre hurtin my business be cool, people the C&H salesman plead as we shined him on.

    The Runaways continued loudly: Torpedoes in tuxedos Got iron in their hands Cotton sound, lost and found Is in every crazy man Lonely rain, bad cocaine Doesnt really matter China White dont treat ya right Sad you are so shattered.

    We walked to the door and I was recognized as a regular. As a result we were let in for free. The place was pretty packed and the Runaways were now playing Joan Jetts Black Mail. I took a glance at the stage and noticed that there were only four girls up there. No Cherie Currie. Damn!

    Wheres Cherie? I disappointedly hollered in Suzettes ear, Jesus, did she quit? And whos that playin the bass?

    I dunno .. Rodney and those little bitches are down here, Suzette said unimpressed as she leaned in for a dynamite kiss, Lets go upstairs and see if theres a more private spot.

    Suzette looked absolutely ravishing in that sexy little leather dress. It really highlighted her shapely figure. And Ill be damned if that dress didnt show off her incredibly, long, slinky, annihilating Juliet Prowse legs!! She was getting a lot of looks and was enjoying the leering harvest of eyes. We had our arms around each other with our hands on each others asses. We were obvious lovers in heat – Main squeezers.

    We got upstairs just as some people were leaving and we grabbed their cocktail table with a great view at the railing. A waitress took our order immediately – Two rum and cokes. Of course, these would become bottomless with the stuff we had smuggled in Suzettes purse. I lit a du Maurier off of the webbed red glass-enclosed table candle and took a deep drag.

    Frankensteins here too, Suzette observed, referring to Kim Fowley, who was seated downstairs and still managing the Runaways at this point, I cant stand that ***head!

    You met him before? I said surprised blowing smoke in her face before giving her a short kiss, To know him is to loathe him.

    Yeah, he tried to pick up on me at the Starwood when I was still in high school, Suzette said in repulsed tones, Hes a creepy *******!

    Hes a goddamned bloodsucker. He doesnt give a **** about anybody but himself, I said laughing as I stroked her luscious upper thigh, And hed be the first to proudly admit it! Thats all you really need to know about the guy – That and his bloated, self-fed ego. He is the Svengali of all!! Proceed with extreme caution!

    Right on! Suzette chuckled and high fived me, as the waitress arrived with our drinks, I hate that jerk hes pond scum total vermin.

    Well at least Rodney and him have been bringin a little life back into the Whisky since last year, I admitted, I was gettin pretty sick of all the insipid imitative musical stage plays that went on endlessly after Rocky Horror petered out.

    Viva, the Starwood! Suzette laughed giving me a kiss and stroking my crotch while the Runaways broke into Queens Of Noise, Hey, isnt that Raven down there?

    Yeah, grab that ashtray over there, I commanded, grabbing a few butts out of it and flicking them downstairs at Raven, Im gonna get her attention…

    The cigarette butts werent fazing Raven, so I took a big ice cube from my drink and bulls-eyed her right on the back of the head. She looked up, first in anger, and then with a smile when she realized it was me. She waved excitedly and began heading toward the stairway with a friend.

    I placed my hand between Suzettes legs. She wasnt wearing panties. She gazed in my eyes affectionately and opened her legs to welcome my fingers. I received sweet, bewitching kisses of approval on my ear, lips, neck and chest.

    Oooh, yeah . Im really sensitive down there right now, Suzette moaned under her breath into my ear and then smiled, I wonder why?

    Is Cherie out of the band? I asked the approaching Raven, who I figured would know, Whats going on?

    Yeah, she quit, you guys, Raven said, happy to see us as the Runaways began a cover of the Troggs Wild Thing, You want any ludes? What was your name again?

    Suzette, she said euphorically, still receiving my manual excitations, Hi Raven! So what happened? Whyd she quit? And wheres Jackie F**ks.

    Yeah, whos the chick on the bass? I wondered as I now recognized and stared at Ravens friend and addressed her, Hows tricks, Marieke?

    Hows it hangin, Brick? Marieke said as she gave me a peck on the cheek and Suzette a looking over, To the left or the right?

    Straight up solid, since you walked up, I said sardonically, Havent seen you in many moons, where you been hiding?

    You dont even want to know, man my parents tried to send me to this stupid boarding school it was hell … Full of ugly dykes the dark brown-haired Marieke confessed ruefully, while I got reacquainted with her flashing blue eyes, Hey why dont you come and have a little blast with us in the bathroom, like old times.

    Nah, thats cool, were still buzzing a little bit on some L, I laughed admiring Mariekes new 1920s flapper styled hairdo, Besides, I think you have ulterior motives.

    Alright, be that way, Marieke kidded as she leaned in and gave me another soft kiss on the cheek and whispered somewhat snottily in my ear, Lets bust another toilet seat when youre not occupied with uppity blonde bitches.

    I smiled, raised my eyebrows a bit and nodded as Marieke gave me a lusty look, So whats going on with the Runaways, Raven?

    Im not sure, really . I heard Cherie was sick of the whole thing, Kim and Joanie were really pissin her off and stuff, Raven slowly spoke, But who knows what the real trip is?

    Yeah, maybe it was just too much dope, Marieke added, Theyre already recording a new record without her. Joanies doin most of the singin now. The new girl on bass is Vicki Blue. I heard that Jackies all messed up and tried to commit suicide.

    I heard that too, bummer, I guess she couldnt hang. So you guys want some ludes, or what? Raven reiterated, These are The Kind, you know, Roher 714s.

    How many you got? I asked as I surreptitiously continued to pleasure the very appreciative Suzette, And how much you want for them?

    I was just gonna turn you on to a couple, Raven said surprised, Do you want to buy quantity? Cuz Gregs* here and hes got a ****load.

    Depends what he wants for em, I cooly said as the enraptured Suzette bit my neck in response to the sub rosa arousal of her love bud, Tell him to talk to me after the show.

    Okay, sure, . do you want me to turn you on to a couple or not? Raven asked again.

    Is Kari Krome a lesbo?!? I said sarcastically as she put a couple of Quaaludes on our table, Thanks, well save em for later.

    You goin anywhere after the show? Raven asked as I put the Rohers under the foil in my trusty Marlboro hard pack, Ben Franks or something?

    The Rainbow, probably, I said, Hit us up after the show, maybe you and Marieke and Greg can all go there together with us. If youre not into it, maybe Dennys or Ben Franks.

    Okay, later, Raven said in her usual friendly manner as she and Marieke made their way back down the stairs.

    Now that everyone was gone, I kissed Suzette passionately, switched hands and enhanced the lovemaking. She loved having her martini stirred. And shaken. The Runaways broke into You Drive Me Wild:

    Youre on my mind Always my one desire Lets get together and build us a fire Make me tremble Make me shake Pleasin each other Rockin till the daybreak You drive me wild Yeah yeah You know you do Uh huh You drive me wild You know I need you.

    Ooooooh, Jesus, thats soooo gooood, Suzette whispered in my ear breathlessly, Youre hittin all the right spots, . ooooooh, ffffffffff ssssssss damn you sweet bastard, stop it, stop it! .. before I make a mess!

    The Runaways exuded: Dont hold off, do it I need your lovin Im gettin so hot Im cookin like an oven My head is all filled with crazy thoughts Love like this just cant be bought.

    We kissed deeply and I slowed down the action, she was already trembling from a few clitoris fingergasms, but I stopped short of unleashing her g-spot torrent. Suzette, besides having an extremely winning personality, fantastic looks, and brains, was a snapper and a squirter the finest kind the kindest find. It was time to move on to another locale. What the hell were we doing here anyway?

    Lets get out of here, I said guzzling the remains of my drink, And preserve the evidence. Well solve the crime later.

    Solve it, or commit it? she said breathlessly laughing, Im gonna rape you when we get back!!

    I really didnt have many reservations about leaving the show early. I was disappointed that Cherie Currie wasnt fronting the band in her lingerie. Besides, the Runaways werent exactly my favorite band in the world. I dug em mainly for their kitschy jail bait qualities. Plus, without Cherie, there wouldnt be any Cherry Bomb, or Neon Angels On the Road To Ruin. This was now almost totally Joan Jetts baby. I was bummed. Suzette agreed with me.

    After Suzette downed her drink, we headed down the stairs and out of the Whisky. We walked up the sidewalk on Sunset to the Rainbow leaning into each other and kissing the whole way. Two kids in love still in the afterglow of the sex and the acid.

    I ordered us each steak and lobster to-go while we waited at the bar. I bought us a bottle of Robert Mondavi Cabernet Sauvignon. We were feeling righteous smoking du Mauriers with wineglass in hand as we euphorically sang along to the always cool programmed music.

    Bad Company wailed, Wild fire shootin through my veins Burns the fever to my brain Wild fire woman, something you got I start to shiver when you do that, do that baby, just as an old friend of mine, JB, walked into the bar.

    Hey, man, godammit! he said in his nearly indistinguishable very slight Swedish accent. Havent seen you in a while. Whos your lady friend?

    JB! Whats happenin man? This is Suzette. Suzette JB. I thought you went back to Stockholm? I said while pouring Suzette and myself another glass of wine, What are you having? Ill buy you a drink.

    V.O. and water, JB said, Ive been back here for almost a year now. I was gonna look you up in Chino but Im living on an expense account

    You still doing record promotion? I asked as Suzette fondled my crotch and I updated the bartender, Well have a V.O. and water too, make it a double.

    Thanks, Hal, no, Im working for a Swedish rock magazine now, he said admiring Suzette, as Deep Purples Soldier Of Fortune’ began playing, Damn, you never stop with the women, huh?

    Why would I want to do that, JB? I laughed sarcastically, Im single and hopelessly hetero.

    David Coverdales exquisite vocals filled the air with Deep Purples perfect accompaniment: I have often told you stories about the way I lived the life of the drifter waiting for the day when Id take your hand and sing you songs. Then maybe you would say, ‘Come lay with me and love me.’ And I would surely stay. But I feel Im growing older. And the songs that I have sung echo in the distance like the sound of a windmill going round. I guess Ill always be a soldier of fortune.

    Suzette, I have to tell you that every time I have ever phoned him and got hold of him at home, whether I was calling from Sweden, London or Los Angeles, he was in bed with a woman, JB laughed Hes the damned king!

    No Im not! I scolded JB, What else would I be doing at home? Its really not that surprising. Either Im gone or Im home and if Im home I enjoy company.

    Hmmm, ., Suzette pondered with a smile while stroking my thigh, I had a feeling you were a Casanova.

    But, really Im not, the women come to me, I dont pursue them at all, I smiled innocently, You know thats true, JB, right?

    The man speaks the truth, Suzette, JB said earnestly, For as long as Ive known him, thats been the case, he attracts girls like kids to candy.

    Hes my king size tootsie roll, Suzette said affectionately as she fondled my crotch and gazed in my eyes, And the ootsies make the tootsie last a long, long time! Ha ha ha!

    Open wide for Chunky! I sang in a basso profundo before cracking up.

    Suzette enjoyed the temporary sidetrack and licked her luscious lips before looking lasciviously in my eyes playfully saying, How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop.

    She just loves the taste of a Big Hunk, I laughed as JB regretted ever bringing the candy reference up in the first place, She just loves to swallow my nougat.

    When I get really hot, I just reach for a Big Stick and pop it in my mouth and suck it till I cool down, Suzette said in breathy tones.

    And she just cant get enough of those tarty and explosive Joy Bursts, I chuckled, Good N Plenty! Good N Plenty! Good N Plenty!!!”

    And I never have trouble slurping a Slurpee, I just suck it real hard till it comes, she giggled, Have we gone beyond playing this thing out, or what, JB?

    JB was shaking his head at our puerile, yet, prurient trip through Candyland, Im not disgusted, really, just a bit envious, perhaps, you guys seem to be havin fun and I feel a bit on the outside and sort of uncomfortable, plus it is pretty stupid.

    Okay, well stop this ridiculous crap. So, I havent seen you in over a year? Jesus H. Christ is time a-flyin, I said changing the subject as Suzette kissed me, You shoulda called me when you got back in California, man.

    I would have, but I lost your number, JB explained, Thats why Im real happy I ran into you tonight! I just came from the Whisky.

    We did too, Suzette interjected still thumbing my manhood, We were kinda disappointed because we didnt know that Cherie and Jackie had quit. Thats one of the reasons we left.

    Yeah, they quit right after the Japanese tour was over. They were number one in Japan you know, with ‘Cherry Bomb,’ JB laughed, Those little sluts! So how long have you two known each other?

    Only since yesterday night, Suzette beamed and squeezed, But it seems like weve known each other much longer. We cut through a lot of bullshit by dropping acid today.

    Yeah, were havin a fantastic time, we were at the Skynyrd show at Anaheim Stadium earlier today, I explained, You know Zeke and Skinny, dont you? Do you remember them? They were there too.

    Of course! How could I forget them and all your crazy friends! How was that Skynyrd show? I would have liked to have gone but this magazine is on a pretty tight budget and its not high on the comp. list, JB said laughing and then addressed Suzette, When I first came to the United States, Suzette, I was a sweet and innocent foreign exchange student from Sweden staying at his mothers friends home in Upland.

    And then I came over and f**ked him all up, I laughed gleefully.

    Well, Hal was taking some classes at Cal State San Bernardino for the Fall Quarter before heading back to Ann Arbor after Christmas, JB explained, I was a Senior, as you call it in your American high schools, foreign exchange student. Because Hal and I had a mutual American friend, we met .

    Yeah, you shoulda seen him, he was all rosy cheeked and innocent looking, like the Dutch Boy Paint guy almost! I laughed hysterically, I knew that he had to be shown the real true America as seen through the eyes of most red-blooded teens. He needed his mind messed with!!

    Dan Fogelbergs Comes and Goes began its airing in the Rainbow. It really caught my attention because I had played and sung this song in a lower key and slower tempo and arrangement (ala Tony Joe White) on acoustic guitar for Hadla at my home. It reminded me of certain aspects of her and myself. This was after she had written some poems about me and personally recited them at my home. When I heard the opening chords of the Fogelberg tune, I immediately flashed on Hadla, as the three of us continued to talk. She had begun to penetrate my consciousness from the moment I met her and it would never stop:

    The womans like the night, she comes and goes She breaks my heart each day and never knows And the time I spend in sorrow will match the time I live And the time thats left is all I have to give.

    This was in the Fall of 1972, JB laughed, And Hal, one of his girlfriends named Brenda, and another couple set me up with a girl they knew named Janice.

    The six of us, you remember Jennifer and Steve dont you, JB?, went camping in the Chino Hills and we got JB stoned on some killer Thai stick, I laughed as JB nodded and Suzette smiled, It was the first time he ever got stoned and boy did he get stoned!! and a little bit too paranoid at first ha ha, I mean it was kinda like getting Woody Allen stoned, ha ha ha! He was sort of resistant. Eventually he rode with it though and went with the flow.

    JB laughed, We had a campfire and sleeping bags and I could hear both coyotes and cows in the distance. I felt like I was in the Wild West! It was very surreal to me. And I was so stoned that after I let the paranoia go, I just surrendered and laughed like a hyena for about an hour. My sense of time was all warped. I lost my virginity that night too.

    Good ol Janice, man, I set you up with a real nice girl JB, I stated seriously, Did you know Brenda got married a couple of years ago? She stopped by my house and visited me a few weeks back. She was four months pregnant and was coming on to me. I had to turn her down. I dont knowingly mess with married women. Thatd be a nightmare! But it was pretty tempting since wed both sampled and enjoyed the goods so many times before.

    Fogelberg continued to make Hadlas incessant omnipresence felt even as I enjoyed the comfort and love of another spectacular woman and the return of an old friend: The womans like an ivy on a pole She wraps her twisted love around my soul There will come a sudden winter when shell seek the warmth of day And therell come a time when she will come to stay.

    Anyway, Janice, this girl we set JB up with, was so hot that when I went to high school with her, one of the teachers got busted for constantly following her around with a 35 millimeter camera. And this was when she was only a Freshman! I laughed, The guy lost his job and got run out of town because of it.

    I know, thanks for Janice man, I dont think I ever thanked you for that, JB said humbly, She was gorgeous. Too bad I didnt know what the hell I was doing! I came instantly! But Janice didnt take it badly, she said she felt flattered.

    And I heard Round Two was substantially better, I laughed, You didnt have anything to be ashamed of because we totally set you up, ha ha, you were ambushed!

    Fogelberg persisted invoking Hadla as the tune wound down and I sang along: The womans like the tide, she comes and goes She knows the things that I can just suppose And the time I spend in sorrow will match the time she laughs And the songs I sing cannot explain but half.

    Thank goodness the Rolling Stones Dead Flowers began playing and changed the total ambience as the dry wine brought forth its special warmth. I bought JB another double V.O. water as he rolled a cigarette from his Van Nelles tobacco pouch. Suzette and I continued to kiss and embrace each other.

    Yeah, JB continued And then the next morning we smoked a bunch more pot and went to that caf at the Chino Airport .

    Flos Caf, I interrupted.

    Yeah, thats right, Flos Caf! We went for breakfast there and it was crawling with flies, farmers, prison guards and patrol cops!! JB laughed as he licked his cigarette paper, finished rolling his smoke, put it in his mouth unlit and continued reminiscing, I got ridiculously paranoid again. I had to pee and one of the cops followed me inside the bathroom which was weird because, when he walked in, I had my foot in the sink. I had snuffed out the campfire with my shoes that morning and I was trying to clean them off. But it must have looked kinda weird to the cop and Im kind of neurotic anyway and I was thinking he was gonna take me to jail. He slowly walked up to me with an intimidating look and then went to a stall and shut the door. I got the hell out of there!

    JB paused while he lit his homemade ciggie and continued to admire Suzette.

    And then, for kicks, later that afternoon we drove to this huge Nixon rally at the Ontario Airport stoned out of our skulls! I laughed as I began raggedly singing along with the Stones Take me down little Susie, take me down. I know you think youre the queen of the underground ..

    Hey, you guys, I was there too! Suzette exclaimed as she took a swallow of wine, My high school marching band had to attend! I played sax and the band teacher was a total douche – Mr. Gullett. This was when I was a sophomore at John A. Rowland High School! Jesus Christ it was so funny!! Ha ha ha!! Everybody got passed lyric sheets for the ‘Nixon Now More Than Ever’ campaign song and were supposed to sing along. It was pretty stupid. One of the guys in our brass section got removed from the festivities because he had a McGovern sticker on his horn, . seriously!!”

    Yeah, it was the weekend before the election and there were these countless Secret Service guys who all dressed the same and wore the same kind of sunglasses and they all had little walkie talkie things, JB laughed, There must have been about 20,000 people there and a bunch of high school marching bands sitting behind Nixon It was nuts and since it was the first time I had ever gotten really stoned, it was very surreal, man. Red Skelton drove past us in a Rolls Royce as we were standing there and shook my hand through the window for no reason. That was strange enough.

    Right, . Governor Reagan was there, Jimmy Stewart was there, Sammy Davis, Jr., was there, even Jack Benny, I laughed, And Lynn Anderson warmed up the crowd with (I Never Promised You A) Rose Garden, which I kinda dug, myself. Thats a great tune!

    Even though we had tickets, the security guys werent gonna let Hal in because he was too freaky lookin you know, I guess his hair was a little too long or something, JB laughed, But, you know Hal, . he turned on the charm and told them all about Nixon and how he had read Earl Mazos biography and was a huge fan. He just inundated the security dudes with countless facts about Nixons career. Then he started quoting from Nixons speeches which he had memorized in school, it was really funny!

    Tonight I see the face of a child, I smiled imitating and quoting Nixon, He lives in a great city. He is black, Or he is white. He is Mexican, Italian, Polish. None of that matters. What matters, hes an American child. That child in that great city is more important than any politicians promise. He is America!

    Yeah, Hal was doing stuff like that, endlessly. It was both astonishing and hilarious, JB laughed, Then he whipped some Nixon-Agnew bumper stickers out of his back pocket and stuck them on his T-shirt, ha ha ha

    And I started singing Nixon Now More Than Ever – Nixon Now More Than Ever – More Than Ever We Need Nixon Now! Then I said Will you let me in now? Please? I just love Nixon and everything he stands for, I swear Im no hippie commie protestor, my brothers fighting in Vietnam, we just came to see our Commander In Chief, .. and, after a very thorough frisking, they let us in, .. provided we didnt sit in the area behind, or, on the sides, of the podium where we might get into the media shots, I laughed, remembering the great times, They didnt want any long-haired freaks screwing up the image, ha ha.

    When Nixon left the rally, he got in an Army helicopter bound for San Clemente and banged the hell out of his head on the way in, JB laughed, It was such a dreamlike event for me. First, Im in America and in the best of all places, Southern California. Then, in the space of a few hours I get high for the first time, get laid for the first time and see the President of the United States in person at a huge rally while under the influence of some of the best pot in the world which was grown in Southeast Asia. Thats a hell of a way to mess with a neurotic innocent guys head, Hal.

    Next thing you know, me and my friends were taking you to Mott the Hoople, ZZ Top, Commander Cody and Roxy Music concerts, making you get high, while doing everything from surfing, listening to the Velvet Underground and Lou Reed and David Bowie, Firesign Theatre to watching re-runs of Get Smart!, Mel Brooks films, Dr. Demento, Marx Brothers, Star Trek re-runs (Hes dead, Jim), Russ Meyer films, 2001, and Blow-Up, I chuckled, And look at you now, youre not that rosy cheeked Dutch Boy Paint guy with an empty canvas anymore, youre writing for a rock magazine in Sweden . Things are looking up!! And you owe it all to your experiences as a foreign exchange student!!!

    Im their Hollywood correspondent, JB said proudly, I have an apartment just down from the Whisky on San Vicente. Yeah, youre right, I really fell in love with this country, after you pushed me into the abyss. And, by the way, . Ill never forget that time we went to see the J. Geils Band and the Eagles at Bridges Auditorium in Claremont.

    Jinx!, Suzette and I yelled simultaneously as the Eagles Witchy Woman began playing just as JB said their name.

    Double jinx! we yelled simultaneously again because we both said jinx at the same time and then just rolled with laughter.

    Don Henley, Suzette and I sang: Raven hair and ruby lips Sparks fly from her fingertips Echoed voices in the night Shes a restless spirit on an endless flight.

    Yeah, that was great concert! The Eagles were just getting started and the J. Geils Band was incredible! I exclaimed.

    But the real show happened afterwards. We were aimlessly wandering around the Claremont Colleges campus, just messing around and getting stoned and pretty lost. We ended up on the third floor of Browning Hall on the Scripps campus, which we later found out was an all girls school, Suzette, I said as I lit another du Maurier and gently squeezed her thigh, before having another drink of the dry red wine.

    Four girls who lived in a quad invited us in their dorm room to get high with them. JB and I had some great black gooey opiated hash and we ended up surprisingly having a really wild orgy with them. It was fantastic! And Im pretty sure that none of this was allowed on campus either .. I said breaking into song, Whoo hoo witchy woman, she got the moon in her eye.

    I couldnt believe it was happening. But it did and it wouldnt stop. It was just too much! Like out of a dream. Man, were those girls free and horny! JB laughed as he twirled the ice cubes around in his drink, I can honestly say that this was one of the most outrageous and unparalleled times Ive ever had in my life! We got some strange looks from the dorm narcs, or whoever they were, when we walked out of there late Saturday morning arm in arm with the four girls.

    Those were what they call RAs, JB, Resident Assistants, I informed the Swede, They actually knocked on the door of the dorm room we were in early that morning, wanting to know if the girls wanted to bake some cookies with them!!! Ha Ha Ha!!!

    Ha ha ha ha. Thats so damned funny!!! Incredible times, man, JB said as he slapped me a low five, Incredible times!

    It was, as they say, a very ribald and bawdy spree of utter debauchery on all our parts, I smiled, temporarily adopting a Masterpiece Theatre persona and vocal mannerisms, Half a dozen people just letting it all hang out and going insane for sanitys sake. Exams must have been imminent, or something. Or maybe they were tired of baking cookies for kicks.

    Ha ha ha. Those chicks were animals, man! Especially that cute little Japanese one, JB laughed, Was it the hash? Or were the planets aligned in some crazy way? We all just went stark raving bonkers! And I dont recall ever getting any of their names at all.

    It was like entering a small coven of extremely horny witches, man. The sexual energy level in that dorm room was off the chart! We stumbled onto absolute, pure, nearly insatiable lust! Especially that tall domineering 511 brunette from Alsace-Lorraine who had just transferred from Mt. St. Marys Lord Christ Almighty she was the instigator the ringleader the pit boss – the High Priestess!”

    It was four-on-the-floor with pos-i-traction – burnin rubber in all four gears. We loved our Hooker Headers and they were wide open and blazin! All four barrels getting pumped and fueled to the max! I was ready to swing from a vine in a tree, beat my chest and give The King Of the Jungle a run for his money while singing ‘Monkey Man’!”

    And to think this was happening at uppity, proper, tranquil, little Scripps College Incipit Vita Nova Indeed! I laughed long and hard, Man were we were raw and sore when we left there!

    No ***, man, JB laughed, I felt like Warren Zevon in Poor, Poor, Pitiful Me. Sorry you had to put up with our crazy stories, Suzette.

    Thats alright, Im enjoying your gleeful memories . and confessions, dont worry about it, Jesus forgives you, Suzette laughed and then sang soulfully along, Well I know you want to love her But let me tell you brother Shes been sleeping in the devils bed Theres some rumors going round Someones underground – She can rock you in the nighttime till your skin turns red Whoo hoo witchy woman See how high she flies Whoo hoo witchy woman She got the moon in her eyes.

    Well, Ill have to look you up from now on when Im in town, I said. It sure is great seeing you again, I was beginning to wonder what ever happened to you.

    If youre looking for a story for your magazine, you might wanna check out whats happening at the Masque, JB, Suzette interjected.

    The mask, whats that? JB asked with skepticism.

    Its on Cherokee between Hollywood Boulevard and Selma, I said, Its a fledgling low-budget punk rock scene. Ive got some friends who have been going there the past few weeks.

    Ill keep it in mind, JB said seeming disinterested, You know, maybe you could help me out with something, Hal?

    With what, I asked.

    Well, Im gonna be having visa problems soon and Im wondering if you knew any woman who might want to marry me, JB chuckled, Not for real, but on paper, so I wouldnt have to hassle with the visa people anymore.

    I might, I said, surprised at his request, Give me a little time and while were here lets exchange phone numbers.

    Hey Hal, you see that burly guy who just sat down next to that foxy black chick on the other side of the bar? JB asked as he scribbled his phone number on the inside of matchbook.

    Yeah, what about him? I asked as I exchanged matchbooks with him.

    Well, take a real good look at that black chick, JB said.

    Oh Jesus, Suzette said with her head on my shoulder and her hand in my pants, I thought it was a chick too! Do you think the guy hitting on him knows?

    Hell find out sooner or later, I laughed, Thats the best looking cross-dresser Ive ever seen.

    But its dark in here, Hal, dont forget, JB laughed, The Adams apple always blows it ha ha. So how are your various enterprises?

    Im doin alright. I bust my balls and I play just as hard, I laughed, The bands lookin for a new drummer since Todd moved back to Philly.

    The red headed guy with the fro? JB asked, He was great!

    Yeah, I know, he had a unique style, I said in admiration, Were having a tough time finding a guy who fits musically and personality wise.

    Suzette, you havent known him very long, he keeps a pace that is unbelievable, JB said shaking his head, I dont know how he does it!

    On the weekdays I only eat one meal a day which consists of nothing but a T-Bone steak and water at about five in the afternoon. Then, before partying in the evening, I drink one tall bottle of Dr. Pepper, I laughed revealing my stamina secrets, That, and I never have less than three orgasms a day.

    Your order is ready, I put the extra bread and butter in here like you requested, the young, attractive, blonde waitress said smiling because she caught the last part of my conversation, Enjoy the orgasms, oops, I mean, the food!

    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    * Greg was a young hipster from the Valley (Reseda), who both Raven and I had hung out with in the past. He had a speech impediment which resulted in him pronouncing his Rs and Ls like Ws. Sometimes Raven and I called him Gweg when he wasnt around. He drove a little red Chevy Luv truck. Waven and I joked about Gweg fwom Weseda dwiving his wittew wed Wuv twuck when we were wasted.
    Gweg, er, Greg, was a great guy though. I first met him at an Armageddon* concert which I was taping (bootlegging) at the Starwood. At that show he was with a freelance professional photographer who also lived somewhere in the Valley. They both took an interest in me because they wanted a copy of the tape. After the show, they took me back stage and thats the first time I ever realized that the Starwood owner, Eddie Nash, was a scary dude who was into some really heavy stuff guns, whores, drugs and lord knows what else.

    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

  • “Hal Linker”

    +++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

    Hollywood and Beyond the Infinite The Third Monolith Paradise Flossed Part 3G Diotima and The Seventh Son (Jelly Roll, Escargot and Redi-Whip)

    Lets put the food in the trunk, I said with my arm around Suzette as we reached the Skylark, Itll stay warmer in there.

    While were at it, let me empty this ice chest out before it spills all over the blankets and food and stuff, Suzette said as she grabbed the Styrofoam cheapie and poured the water into the parking lot.

    I admired her backside as she bent over in that short leather dress. I loved that slightly increasing gap between her legs where they met her pelvis and butt. So sexy, mmmm . it was kinda heart shaped.

    Just bend over a little bit more, I directed from the rear and we both broke out in laughter.

    We had parked the car at the ARCO station lot next to Power Burger. Id done this frequently and had gotten to know the owner because of it. He was a great guy and let me park there for free. In thanks, I topped off my gas there at his somewhat inflated prices of 64 cents a gallon. He seemed to get a kick out of my past shenanigans and was always ogling my female friends. Like the Power Burger owners, he was foreign born. He was Asian and I think the Power Burger dudes were Persian, or something similar.

    They, like so many other independently owned burger joints, were very reminiscent of the Saturday Night Live routine, Cheeseburger! Cheeseburger! Pepsi! Except they used to yell One Powa Burga! Two Powa Burga! I think the SNL skit was based on Greek burger joints. But the Power Burger people werent Greek. They werent particularly friendly, either, but they cranked out the tasty food efficiently enough. A Power Burger was a hamburger in a pita pocket, which also contained cheese, chili and onions. They were excellent munchies food. I had often eaten at their outdoor tables, which overlooked the Sunset strip from nearly kitty-corner to the Whisky A Go Go.

    Aha! What have we here? Suzette suspiciously chuckled because she found a couple of sexy bikinis in my trunk as she was rearranging things. I kinda like this one, its really cute.

    Those have been in there a while, I said with a smirk. She held the one she liked against her body to size it up. You can have that one, but Im sure Angies gonna want to have that other one back.

    The virginal white one? Suzette laughed sarcastically, still holding up the polka dotted one she liked. Whos Angie?

    Shes a friend of mine Ive known for the last six months or so, I said as I closed the trunk, Lets go to the liquor store and grab some stuff for the room.

    Are you guys intimate? Suzette asked smiling as we walked arm in arm to the adjacent Sun Bee Liquor, Or is that a dumb question?

    Yes to both of those, babe, I said as I kissed her softly on the ear, I see Angie about once or twice a week shes still in high school.

    You like that young stuff? Suzette smiled and kissed my cheek as we walked, At least youre honest and up front. Im seeing a few guys at Chico too, but even though theres sex involved, its really nothing serious.

    Thats cool, but lets just enjoy the here and now, I said before stopping at the stores entrance and pulling her into me to initiate a wonderful long kiss, I really dig your company. I want to be with you every minute that you have till you split for Chico.

    Im glad you said that, because I feel the same way. Im having a really great time with you and we definitely have something special going on . Suzette said smiling before planting another ecstatic French kiss on me, Mmmm yeah, whoo, yeah I love you those kisses of yours, . mmmm. They just get me wet.

    Total mutual, babe, I smiled euphorically as Suzette glanced at and fondled the growing bulge in my pants.

    Dont bust your trousers, baby, we got a little shopping to do, Suzette laughed with twinkling eyes as she gently spanked my thing and then grabbed me by the hand, Cmon!

    Yes dear, I mocked adopting the voice of a meek emasculated husband, while in contrast I reached my hand under her dress and grabbed some of her bare ass, Anything you say.

    Suzette glanced at me with delight as we walked in the market and I suggested we look for some candles. We found some in the back of one of the small aisles. We elected to get the cheesy novelty candles which were shaped like boobs. The wicks protruded from the areolas. Naturally we bought a pair.

    In addition, we bought some delicious looking plump seedless grapes and a can of Redi-Whip for the strawberries. As we walked to the counter, Suzette made me aware that people actually attempted to get high off of Redi-Whip. Apparently the propellant from the can was an intoxicant when inhaled. Neither of us were that desperate and we both found such a pursuit quite ridiculous, though amusing.

    The Sunset Plaza Hotel was just a few short blocks away. We listened to Taj Mahal and sang along with the top still down and the summer wind caressing us with its cool benediction. Suzette rested her head on my shoulder as she gently stroked my thigh and crotch.

    “Ain’t nobody ever gonna steal my jelly roll – Ain’t nobody ever gonna steal my jelly roll – You know I’m doin’ some fine lovin’ on a woman, well she keep me satisfied to my very soul.

    “Gonna take you back down to the Delta peoples – Back to the days of Henry Brown – Gonna take you back down to the Delta peoples – Back to the days of high Henry Brown – When he’d get to playin’ his guitar all the womens would let their skirts go hang on down.

    “I’m in love with you woman, you’re the finest girl here in the town Yes, I’m in love with you woman, you’re the finest woman, finest woman here in the town. – Yeah, when you put it up solid, baby, it will not come down.”

    “Ain’t nobody ever gonna steal my jelly roll – Ain’t nobody ever gonna steal my jelly roll – You know I’m doin’ some fine lovin’ on a woman and she keeps me satisfied deep down to my very soul ….”

    Suzette flicked her smoke out of the car and began kissing my neck as we pulled to the curb in front of the hotel. I was happy and kind of surprised to find that there was still parking available in that great spot. After a couple of terrific kisses, we grabbed the food, the groceries, and Suzettes new bikini. We began making our way to the room. Suzette made a crack about some Letters of Transit to the befuddled Peter Lorre concierge, who had no idea what she meant when she asked him whether or not he had given them to Rick.

    We set up dinner on the table in our room. We both began sampling from all the courses at once. It had been a long time since either one of us had eaten, so the excellent food tasted even better than usual. Suzette and I had both ordered the clam chowder soup and a small dinner salad. Plus we also had stuffed mushrooms, along with the, always excellent, steak and lobster with baked potato (mine with sour cream and chives hers with cheese sauce).

    Whats this stuff? Suzette said puzzled finding a container with food she couldnt identify and handing it to me.

    Whatever it is, I didnt order it, I laughed as I took a look. Oh! This is a running gag that Mario always plays on me! You know what this is? Its escargot.

    Snails? Suzette said in repulsed tones. Gross, man, get them away from me.

    Its a joke, Suzette, I laughed, You see, a long time ago, not too long after the Rainbow opened, like sometime in late 1972, I went there with this girl from Riverside named Nancy. This was when I was taking some classes at Cal State Berdoo; the same general time frame that I met JB. The band that I was involved with at the time played a lot of gigs in the Inland Empire and thats how I met Nancy. She was a very nice person. Nancy was also very cute and had thick beautiful auburn hair. She was a few years older than me.

    After a gig at some dive near the Berdoo / Riverside border, Nancy hung around and made herself known to me immediately. She seemed like she had some brains to go along with the looks, I said still holding the snails with a twinkle in my eye. My first impression was that she was definitely more seasoned than your typical chick hanger on. Plus the stuff she was wearing was unbelievable! Very unusual fashions and very complimentary to her amazing figure!

    Yeah, so what happened? Suzette said as she continued to eat her soup, You want some more champagne?

    Yeah, we still never finished that first bottle, I said as I pigged out, totally comfortable in Suzettes company. The lobsters extra great tonight! The Rainbows really underrated, man. I love it! . So, anyway, some time later, we had a gig in the Valley and Nancy came along with me. Afterwards she wanted to go to Rodneys E Club, which was the place he had before it became Rodneys English Disco. We went and it just wasnt happening. So we left to grab a bite and rub shoulders at the Rainbow. Nancy knew Hollywood and some of its people very well, which I liked. She posed for Playboy in 1968, or so she said. I really wouldnt know, since Im not into Playboy. But she did have the bod for it, definitely! So I had no reason to doubt her. She was very all-American cute, kinda resembling an auburn Barbi Benton.

    So where is she now? Suzette asked as she buttered and handed me a roll, You still see her?

    Once in a while she pops in at my house and surprises me, I said as I topped off Suzettes champagne glass. She still lives out Riverside way. She got married for about five months back in 1974 to a philandering civil attorney. It was a stupid move on her part. I could see it coming. I think she just latched on to the dude for security, you know, no money worries. It didnt take her very long to figure out she really made a bad move. They annulled with no strings attached. Matter of fact, that polka dot bikini that you snagged out of my trunk is hers. But she wont mind. Shes still modeling and makes pretty good dinero. Shes gotta be about 30 right now. But she still looks like a million bucks.

    A free spirit? Suzette asked as she fed me a slice of her steak, Birds of a feather?

    I guess it would be fair to say that, I laughed chewing a mouth full of tender, juicy and delicious meat, You ought to fill that bikini nicely. Body wise, youre about the same as her, though Id say youre a couple of inches taller. She said she was a 36-22-35, but for some reason her breasts seemed bigger than that. They really stood out. I mean, Im sure youre not thrilled to hear this, but she had some big firm Playboy knockers seemed bigger than 36 to me!

    No, thats OK, Im cool with it. As a matter of fact, I find it quite refreshing, Suzette said dipping her lobster into the butter sauce. Mmmm this lobsters just killer . and by the way, Im 35-23-35.

    To me, you look like a 36 or bigger, I said having a bit of clam chowder, Its definitely in all the right places, for sure. Youve probably never had any problem attracting guys, Ill bet.

    Thanks, yeah, the problem was, it was always the wrong guys, Suzette said smiling as she took a sip of champagne. Sometimes the bad thing about being attractive is that all the dorks and douches and rednecks pursue you. Whereas, the guys that you really want, just assume youre already taken. That was more of a high school problem, though. I would never go out with a guy out of sympathy. I think thats even crueler than turning them down. Truth is, I turned down more dates, or attempted hook ups, in high school than I ever accepted. Guys can be such dogs.”

    “Once, one of the guys on the football team took me out to this lonesome road and pretty much tried to rape me. It was disgusting! I wouldn’t let him have his way, so he left me stranded out there in the middle of nowhere. I had to walk miles to get to a phone booth. The next week at school he was telling all the guys on the team that I was a big whore and he boned me, Suzette said with anger in her voice.

    “Wow! That’s just awful!” I said with disgust. “I hate ******s like that. Karma will catch up to him. Unfortunately, that’s not an unfamiliar tale. High schools and colleges are full of them. I’m really sorry to hear about that, Suzette.”

    “It was a lesson learned on my part,” Suzette said seriously. “Some guys are just total ****s and a girl has to be on guard.”

    So what kind of high school career did you have? I said changing the subject, Were you a cheerleader or anything like that?

    No way, man I never got into that ridiculous school spirit Rah! Rah! nonsense, Suzette laughed as she fed me another piece of her steak, I was in the marching band and jazz band and some other music classes, which I must admit, I dug. I was kinda dorky till I blossomed near the end of the sophomore year. I was in CSF and MENSA throughout high school, but I knew how to have a good time too.

    I can tell, I smiled wryly sipping some champagne, I was in CSF too, I dont remember anything about MENSA at my school. I was taking college classes at Chaffey so I could get them out of the way for later. I had more than enough credits to graduate by the time I finished my junior year. But by the time I was a senior, I was labeled a classic underachiever. Which I suppose was true from the educational systems vantage point. From the perspective of the powers that be, I had what they would call a very bad attitude. But I could coast when I was a senior because I already completed all the requirements, and then some, before the year even began. The powers that be wanted me to take another advanced Calculus course and Physics II and blah blah blah. But when I was a senior I was so sick of school, and everything about it, that I took Band, Choir, Music Appreciation, English Lit and Government. That was considered backsliding by some of the teachers at the school who scolded me for taking music classes when I had such a high IQ. But **** em, I really liked music! And at this point I was learning a whole lot more out on the streets than in my stupid high school.

    School was really easy for you, right? Suzette laughed as she cut her steak, It was for me. Were a lot alike you and I. School and the opposite sex.

    Perhaps we are, I said playfully and somewhat mysteriously, My fifth grade teacher wanted to pass me directly into high school and skip 6th, 7th and 8th grade. I said, The hell with that! Ive been dumbin myself down ever since that day. In any way I can! Tryin to give my self a mental nose job. Ha ha!

    Are you serious?!?! Suzette laughed as she ate some of her potato, You certainly seem rather smart and you definitely are perceptive. But it seems like you hold back a bit on it. Youre only giving me glimpses.

    Smart is a relative term. If it means that Ive committed all the **** theyve been shoveling me to memory and retained it, then I suppose Im guilty. But thats hardly anything to be proud of, I laughed as I dipped my lobster in the butter. Im just who I am. I really dont think Im smart. As far as holding back, of course I am! Dont forget I grew up in rural Chino and I had to adapt to my surroundings.

    The mental nose job? Suzette laughed, I can see why you didnt want to advance from fifth grade to high school. Youd be a freak!

    Yeah, all of a sudden being smart became a threat to my social life, I said as I cut my steak. My fifth grade teacher really liked me. She was giving me Algebra and Geometry assignments while the rest of the class was doing regular Math. She was always trying to give me new challenges, which I didnt mind, until the end of the year when she recommended I skip a bunch of grades.

    She really wanted you to go straight to high school? Suzette laughed digging in her potato skin, Didnt she realize the social aspects of that move? I mean how old are you in the fifth grade? Ten or 11?

    Yeah, I know, but I think she thought I was up for it. But I wasnt, I laughed cutting another piece of steak. She used to have me come over her apartment and spend the night. Wed have dinner, swim and watch Carson. Id help her grade papers. She called me Ace Whiz, because I knew all about current events and politics and music and entertainment and could discuss them like an adult. She used to smoke Montclair cigarettes and she let me smoke with her. But I was just a kid and puffed them without inhaling.

    So, did you go to her place a lot? Suzette laughed as she dipped her lobster.

    A bunch of times, I dont know, maybe 15 or 20 times, I smiled as I forked over a stuffed mushroom to Suzette, You really ought to try one of these, theyre really good.

    Hey, not bad at all, Suzette smiled after sampling, Tastes like they have cheese and a touch of garlic and some kind of meat in em, maybe pork. Theyre buttery too. So, you were the teachers pet in fifth grade?

    Youd definitely have to call it that, I laughed, She exhibited total favoritism to me. I got every perk a fifth grader could get. We even went to Dodger games together and sat in the cheap left field pavilion home run seats. When I was at her apartment shed be cool and even let me slip some booze into my cokes on occasion.

    I had a History teacher in high school who was always creepily making sexual advances, Suzette said with disgust. And he wasnt one of those just out of college guys either. He must have been around 50 and was married with kids. He was a disgusting pervert. Kept insinuating that I could get really good grades with little or no effort if Id go out with him. I transferred to another class.

    You should have reported that ass. If he was hitting on you, there were probably others too! I said angrily, Hell get his someday! Thats just not right.

    I know, but I didnt want to make waves, Suzette said as she took a bite of salad, Once I was out of his class, he never bothered me again. But, I heard some of the girls actually took him up on his advances.

    Jeez! I said with disgust. As much as I liked my fifth grade teacher, in retrospect, it could have been interpreted as somewhat inappropriate. She had one of those one-room bachelor apartments with a convertible sofa. When I slept over, we slept together. It was purely innocent but she did give me very nice warm massages during the Carson show.

    “Another thing that was weird, in retrospect, was that she had no sense of modesty. When we would go swimming at the apartment, she would change into her bikini right in front of me, I laughed.

    What? Suzette almost choked on her steak, She got naked in front of you?

    Yeah, but she acted like it was nothing and I didnt really think much of it either. It wasnt like she was doing a striptease or anything, I laughed as I fed Suzette another stuffed mushroom. She was just changing into her bathing suit. She was a little chubby but pretty curvaceous. Sorta like those old classical European nudes. She had dark hair and, since she had just moved from the Midwest, she was quite pale skinned. The one thing that really struck me about her was that she had a huge amount of pubic hair. Being as I was a fifth grader, I hadnt seen much patch before. And hers was exceedingly abundant. She really needed to trim that stuff up. It was sticking out of her bikini bottom all the time too. Kinda gross.

    Hey! Im trying to eat, here! Suzette good naturedly laughed as she cut her steak. So, as a fifth grader, did you ever get turned on? Or were you too young for that.

    Too young for that? I laughed filling our champagne glasses, Little boys get stiffies all the time for sometimes inexplicable reasons. Are you kidding? Yeah, I got a boner. But in fifth grade it wasnt doing me much good.

    So, like when you were a little boy and you got a boner, did you ever play with yourself? Suzette asked with genuine curiosity as she buttered another roll.

    Little boys have hands and little boys get aroused, long before puberty sets in, I said as I fed Suzette one of the delicious grapes we had bought at Sun Bee Liquor, The problem is that at that age, playing with yourself doesnt result in an orgasm. It results in getting the willies or a short circuiting feeling. I mean, you reach that certain point and your bodys not yet ready to deliver the load and you just sort of short circuit instead. For me, the semen didnt arrive till the summer between sixth and seventh grade. So what about you? When did you first become aware of your sexual self?

    Well the first time I got a handle on what sex was about was when I was living in San Diego. I moved up north in the middle of eighth grade, Suzette smiled and paused as she sipped some champagne. I just want to tell you, that I cant believe how comfortable I feel with you, Brick. I cant believe this crazy conversation were having . I really love you, man .I can just be myself . Anyway, my best friend was named Stacy and we used to walk home from school together. Once, we found a pretty hardcore porno mag on the side of the road. We were in the fifth or sixth grade. It was pretty graphic and we both grossed out.

    Thats understandable, I said dipping some of my lobster, Obviously it didnt ruin you forever.

    Oh no, it was gross and everything, but me and Stacy gawked at it and laughed about it too, Suzette said. Im still friends with Stacy. Shes really a bizarre person always was. She was already avant-garde in junior high school. We were blood sisters back in San Diego. Shes bisexual.

    I told you! I said laughing as I inadvertently dipped my steak in the lobster butter, All women are lesbians in some way, shape or form. Its only a matter of time before you join the ranks.

    Youre such an ass, but youre so adorable, Suzette laughed as she reached across the table and affectionately pinched my cheek, Youre gonna really get it later, baby, I promise.

    I give as good as I get, I chuckled lecherously. Can I have a bite of your potato? Ive never tried their cheese sauce before.

    Suzette scooped out a nice chunk of her potato for me. Then she lifted up the container with the snails saying, You still havent told me the story about the escargot. Cmon!

    Oh yeah, we kinda got on a hell of a sidetrack there, I laughed as I fed her some of my lobster, Well, the story in a nutshell is that Nancy and I went to the Rainbow and, just for the hell of it, we had escargot as an appetizer. She ate one snail. At first it tasted pretty good to her because it was sauted in butter. But as she chewed, I could see her face grimace in disgust when she came to taste its gritty essence and texture. Nancy was a very feminine chick. But the damn snail grossed her out so bad that she first spit it out, and then threw up all over the table. She was mortified!

    All the more reason for me not to try these, Suzette laughed putting the container down, How awful for her!

    For what its worth her barf wasnt that gross. It was pure liquid. We hadnt eaten in a long time so it looked like it was just some coffee and maybe a bit of booze, I laughed noticing in Suzettes eyes that I was providing more detail than needed. But it soaked the table and a bit of the carpet. Anyway, Mario, the main guy, came by the table and he knew me from the Whisky, which he and Elmer also ran. I walked up the aisle with him a bit as the help mopped up the mess, and Nancy. When I told him why she puked, he cracked up. He thought it was really hilarious and every time he sees Nancy he teases her about it. She gets extremely red-faced when embarrassed, which seems to please Mario even more.

    Plus every time that he is aware that Im having dinner there, he slips me the escargot free of charge. Because thats what he did the original night of Nancys accident. That and after dinner he let us go upstairs to the exclusive Over the Rainbow area. Thats the first time I ever saw people snorting coke in public. Nancy tried to get me to try some that night but I was scared of the stuff back then.

    How funny, Suzette laughed as she enjoyed another stuffed mushroom, Do you like coke now?

    Not especially. No, cant say its my favorite drug. Thats for sure, I stated as I savored another piece of the excellent lobster. For what it is, its too expensive. Ive had some good times with it, but the comedown really sucks.

    You gotta have sex when you come down, Suzette said libidinously.

    I know, but if you get really strung out, even the sex doesnt help, I said from experience, Quaaludes and sex are the best way to come down from coke.

    Maybe we can try that some time, Suzette winked. Does coke enhance your love making from a personal standpoint?

    It has and it hasnt, I laughed. If you do too much, it desensitizes your experience. I suppose it helps some guys last longer, but Ive never had that problem. Sometimes I did too much and I screwed all night long and never came at all. I dont like that. But other times Ive had great experiences. So its a tricky drug. Another reason why its not a favorite of mine. Its too potato chippy, you know, I bet ya cant eat just one.

    Thats so true. One line of coke makes you crave another. Thats the evil aspect of it. But it can be great in social settings, Suzette said. I really like screwing on it during the comedown. For some reason it makes me more loving and passionately vulnerable than I already am. Truth is, though, Ive only done it a few times.

    Great! At least youre not one of those coke whores. I know a guy who dabbles in dealing the stuff and there is never a shortage of women around him. From what Ive seen, though, they’re just vapid coke skanks … So, you still havent told me when you became sexually self aware, I laughed, But if you dont want to, its okay. Wait, . Open your mouth, I wanna see if I can flick this grape in it from here.

    I flicked the grape from the top of my thumb with my index finger and it rapidly shot straight into her mouth from across the table. Suzette slowly savored it and smiled.

    Youre a man of many talents, she laughed, Girls arent supposed to masturbate though, you know.

    Get the hell out of here! I laughed, Any red-blooded American girl with no deep-seated hangups is gonna masturbate. Maybe not as much as guys in their younger years, but they make up for it later, once the proverbial cat is out of the bag so to speak, ha ha ha.

    Im guilty, she said laughing, I got on rolls during junior high. Just clitoral stimulation though. I wanted to save that sacred hymen.

    The hymen, Ive had a few of those, I said in a very sentimental tone. That can get pretty emotional sometimes, but I feel Ive always handled it with sensitivity. How was your experience?

    Crappy, Suzette said shaking her head. I lost it when I was 17 to a guy who I used to study with a couple nights a week. We were kinda sweet on each other and we had often made out really heavily at his parents’ house. One night his parents left and he whipped it out. I was wearing a dress and he got my panties off and jabbed it in me a time or two or three before he got his rocks off. It really sucked. I had all these ideal visions of how it would be when I lost my cherry. And it just painfully and messily disappeared in less than 60 disgraceful seconds.

    I stupidly stayed with that guy till the end of my senior year. He really sucked in the sex department. I thought maybe there was something wrong with me because I wasnt having any fun at all. It was just something I gave him so he would get his nut off and quit buggin me, Suzette said as she finished up the last of her steak.

    But then, after I graduated, I went out to this party in Pedley, of all places, and I got a little tipsy. There was this really cute long-haired guy there and I pretty much threw myself at him. He took me to his apartment and thats when I realized that sex could be fantastic,” Suzette beamed. “So, what about you? You seem to have a pretty full dance card.

    Dance card? Thats kind of an old-fashioned term isnt it? I laughed as I fed her another piece of my lobster. I love women. What can I say?

    How many have you really been with? Suzette asked with a smile.

    Hey, I really dont know, I laughed, shaking my head. I really dont keep a tally sheet. Thats not what its about for me. I have a lot of records in my collection, but I dont quantify them either. I know them and I love them, but I dont count them. I take an aesthetic approach to both women and music.

    Look, I dont care exactly how many, just give me a ballpark guess, she laughed and winked. I already know youre a goddamned artist, but is it more than 20?

    Yeah, way more than 20, I laughed drinking some champagne, Probably a little over a hundred.

    Jesus Christ! Suzette nervously laughed in amazement. When did you start screwing?

    In the eighth grade, I laughed while digging in my potato, But it picked up a great deal once I got a drivers license. Plus it didnt hurt playing guitar in a band.

    What a slut you are, Suzette giggled as she leaned towards me for a short peck, But I still dig the hell out of you, my sweet baby.

    Girls are like school, I laughed as I popped another stuffed mushroom. They both came easy for me.

    Straight As in love? Suzette chuckled, Magna Cum Laude!

    Summa Cum Laude! I laughed feeding Suzette another stuffed mushroom, And oh do I mean CUM LAUDE.

    I just had a major dj vu right now! Suzette exclaimed eyes wide in excitement. Its like we lived this story together long ago.

    Youre getting a little too cosmic for me, I chuckled. But dont get me wrong, I can appreciate it from a romantic perspective. Thats what I like about you. Its that awareness of the spirit and the ritual of great sex. I havent found that in many women on a level like yours.

    I can feel and see your romanticism. Its a different and more refreshing kind of romance. Its idealized but definitely not the norm. I really feel that you are so much like me, Suzette burst with her living, twinkling eyes. Youre the bastard to my bitch.

    Ill tell you this, Suzette, I said while raising my champagne glass for a toast, Im very fascinated with you. Do you know the origin of the word ‘fascinate’?

    “No, is it from Latin?” she asked as we toasted and drank.

    “Uh huh, it’s from Latin and is derived from the ancient Roman deity Fascinus. This god was represented as having a large membrum virile. Superstitious types used to wear amulets with the image of his exaggerated penis. This was to ward off evil.

    How very fascinating, Suzette mocked and laughed, Tell me more, Herr Professor.

    I wanna tell you that the only reason I know this, is because I saw it in the movie version of The Kama Sutra. This was rated X in 1970, but it wasnt X at all. It would be a tame R by todays standards. It played as an X-Rated triple feature at the Mission Drive-In with Beyond the Valley Of the Dolls and Witchcraft 70.

    Do I dare ask what was going on in the car at this triple feature? Suzette laughed, Im sure that was a true X!

    Surprisingly, no. I was with a sweet girl from Pomona Catholic and we drank a bunch of gin and tonic, I laughed. We actually watched the movies with just a little fondling going on. She had a tiny two-seat import car without a convertible top. It wasnt conducive to adolescent urges being fulfilled. But we made each other horny enough to end up forking over $8 and checking into the Sands Motel just down the street.

    Im jealous, Suzette said with a smile, I know it seems stupid, but I wish I could have known you then. It would have been a lot of fun.

    Except you were only 12 years old then, I laughed. I dont think so, darlin. That wouldnt have been too fascinatin. . Speaking of which, I wasnt done on the origins of fascinate.’

    It was also derived from fascinum which either meant large member if you get my drift, or, an ivory phallus fashioned for ancient erotic rites, or, finally, evil spell.’

    So, you see, I smiled and looked deep into Suzettes eyes, Im wise to you. You have me in your spell. But I dont think its evil at all . Well, maybe just evil enough. To me, youre the sexiest dichotomy. A blend of the sweet young seeker and the lust-filled she-devil!

    Yeah, there’s an innocence about both of us that isn’t that readily perceptible. But it’s deep and I feel its mutuality,” she said philosophically. For all your carnal experience, youre not jaded. Were both like kids at Christmas!”

    “It’s that blend that I find so alluring. It’s the bewitching thing you have – that perfect combination – the innocent young nymph with the bawdy slut – Isn’t that what every one wants? Jesus, look at me! Just talking about it gets me horny.”

    “I’ve been wet and horny the whole time Ive been with you! Weve stirred some stuff up and this isn’t gonna go away anytime soon, you know. It’s gonna be tough to be apart after I go back to Chico, cuz I dig the hell out of you!” she stated matter-of-factly. “My guard is totally down with you and I’m absolutely comfortable with it! Everything just fits together so nicely into a wonderful whole!

    You really are completely fascinating, I said before kissing her passionately at length. My sweet, sweet Diotima.

    Oh my God, you give me shivers, Suzette exclaimed as we pulled apart. Whoo-ya! Jesus help me!

    So what about you? I laughed euphorically, Long as you wanna keep score on me, how about your stats?

    What do you mean? Suzette smiled as she ate a grape, How many guys have I been with?

    Yeah, for starters, I laughed eating my last morsel of steak, Not that I really care that much, but just for curiositys sake. Twenty?

    No, Im really not that experienced, Suzette smiled, Six.

    Six? I smiled in disbelief. Get outta here! You didnt get that good in the sack with only six notches in your belt!

    No, Im serious. Just six, Suzette laughed hysterically, I guess Im just a natural!

    The way youre laughing, Im having a hard time believin that, I smiled lasciviously. I mean, I never really believe women when they tell me about their sexual history anyway. Its always less than 10 guys. And usually most of them sucked in bed according to them. Whats the deal? Are all the women in the world screwing the same five or 10 guys?

    With as many women as youve boinked, you could be one of the 10, Suzette laughed as she playfully flicked a grape at my face. But you would definitely get a five-star review in my book youre one wicked lover.

    Thanks, babe, I know lots of guys exaggerate about their conquests. The way I see it, I’ve never had any quote ‘conquests.’ It’s more of a mutual thing. But I think women seldom tell the whole truth and minimize their experience, I said as I polished off my lobster.

    Why would I lie to you? Suzette said as she unzipped the zipper on her leather dress and liberated her boobs, Ive only slept with six guys before you. You are my lucky Number Seven!

    I began singing jazzily and happily in the style of Mose Allison: Well now everybodys talkin bout the Seventh Son In the whole round world theres only one And Im the one Yes Im the one Im the one, Im the one The one they call the Seventh Son.

    Seven is the Number, Brick, Suzette laughed sexily as she sprayed whipped cream on her nipples. Seven represents the God head. The perfection of all thought and consciousness in ancient numerology and various religions. Its the Sacred Number, you know this, Im sure. We are so alike, you and I. And I do adore you. And I really want to serve and worship and consecrate my self to you now. Lets become One.”

    She stood directly in front of my chair, unzipped and opened her dress completely till it fell to the floor. She sprayed a Redi-Whip number Seven which began under her breasts and went down to her lower abdomen.

    Suzette then leaned into me while libidinously saying in breathy tones, Entremets? .. Ou amuse-guele? Se repaitre de!

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  • Susan Callaway

    Grew up in Montclair and Pomona (Westmont area) in the 60′s/70′s. My mother and father-in-law owned the Berliner Kindl in Pomona which was Walter Mittys before. It did really well when General Dynamics was there. I remember that I would have to take food down to the porn shop. Wow, was I in for a shock when I first walked in. The Berliner Kindl was a very fun and always busy place.

    [Susan, nice to hear from the Berliner Kindl family. -- DA]