Morning roundup top ten

So I’m making cop calls this a.m. and there’s some interesting stuff out there, but nothing earth shattering. It seemed like just typical stuff. Countfeiter in Glendora, guy dies from injuries suffered last week, takeover robbery in West Covina.
Anyway, cops have this interesting way of apologizing for slow days. The range of apologies fascinates me.
Here’s a top ten list of sorts: (hats off to AP and TR)

10. “Nothing ever happens in San Marino”
9. “Oh it’s too hot — the bad guys are staying inside until it cools off.”
8. “Now that its cooled off a few degrees — the bad guys are taking a break.”
7. “You know what? We picked up all the bad guys over the weekend, when they were drinking to cool off.”
6. “It takes bad guys three days to adjust to a temperature change. Call back Saturday.”
5. “School starts today, so the bad guys are on their best behavior.”
4. “Nothing newsworthy, just the usual drunks, domestic squabbles, and traffic violations we get every night in Rosemead and South San Gabriel.”
3. “Everything’s quiet, just waiting for the big one. It’s coming. Sure you’ve read about it in the Good Book.”
2. “The watch commander is currently away from his desk.”
1. “Nothing ever happens in Baldwin Park.”
I responded to the last one with, “Sounds safe. So should I buy a house there? Do you live there Sarge?”
Got a two word reply.

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  • Awesome.

  • LOL! I guess news all around is a little slow!

  • don quixote

    lemme guess the the two word follow up was “F U”?