Awards for these gentlemen, please

Tom O’Neil is the guy who almost single-handedly transformed awards season from a glowing consideration of artistic merit into nothing more than a crass horserace, sort of the way network news steamrollered issues in favor of mere polling during Presidential elections (ONeil was ably assisted by the folks at the Golden Globes, though). His breathless website (camping over on the competitions bandwidth) virtually hyperventilates after each and every screening he attends, and he handicaps all the major races again and again, after every little twitch that signifies a potential sea change, and then he thoughtfully spams you with his impressive insights — I wonder, even if you’re not in or covering the entertainment industry, does he track down your Email and send his every prediction to you, too? Anyway, congrats to Tom for a sterling array of predictions this year — he’s guaranteed to be right somewhere, because by my (admittedly addled at this point) estimations, he’s predicted that practically every film will win some award. Another guy who’s annoying like this is Roger Ebert (whose 2005 Top-10 list features, no fooling, a whopping SIXTY-THREE MOVIES, one of which he calls one of the most delightful films EVER MADE? and yet its not even in his Top, Top-10). Ebert trolls the red carpet on Oscar night and tells anyone he can get within spittle-flinging distance of that he KNEW the very SECOND he saw their film that they would get nominated. (Pretty safe bet to mention it at that point, no?) His Channel-7 red-carpet co-hort, George Puppethead or whatever his name might be, is even worse, his tiny little over-caffeinated noggin unfettered by any actual useful knowledge about film history or aesthetics. Others who cover awards season at least admit theyre there simply for the glamour and the gowns these three pretend theyre bringing hefty discourse to the proceedings, but all theyre really doing is perpetuating the giddy idiocy.

See Eberts Top-63 list:

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